A Pretty Good Christmas...If I Do Say So Myself!

Hmmmm... When last we chatted here on my little corner of blog-dom, I was ready to throw in the towel as we figured that Lou would be ready to succumb to her illnesses. There was only one problem in that process... somebody forgot to tell Lou... Someone forgot to tell her that she was supposed to give up. Lou's high fevers have finally subsided and she is still in a world of suffering. But the funniest thing happened: Lou is actually starting to get a little bit better. Her numbers for her ability to get off of the respirator still suck. And though it's difficult for her to communicate because of the trach, she has gotten a lot better with her cognizant skills and we spent Christmas together in the hospital. Our conversations have been lucid and she understands what she's up against. Last week, with Christmas coming upon us, she had nothing in her room to reflect that Jesus' birthday was coming up. So I said the heck with this noise and went and got a 3 foot Christmas tree and took it into her room and spent an afternoon putting it all together. She had a small radio that was playing Christmas music so I started goofy dancing like a big goofy idiot while I was putting the tree up and I look over and she's looking at me and laughing. When I get her laughing, it makes me feel really good... at least until she starts to aspirate on the trach. Then I feel terrible. But it's good to see that smile back on her face. It's hard to see her struggle like she does, and her prognosis is crap... but she's more cognizant and is able to focus and we are able to have great conversations and I've grown closer to my sister. I've learned more about toughness and courage from her in these several months than I ever thought I knew... She really has been our best Christmas gift...

Keeping the Faith...

Hey folks...
nothing much new to report right now. Lou is still hanging on in the hospital. She is one tough lady. She recognizes us and she fades in and out but she still knows us and whispers to us. It was a shock to her though that we're approaching Christmas. She thought we were still in summer. Poor thing. Terri is so apathetic right now as we approach Christmas. This is usually our favorite holiday as a family. Terri is usually the one who gets the most excited (next to Lou) about Christmas. But this year, it's been so hard on everyone that Terri is not even doing her tons of cookies and all sorts baking this year. She's making some cornflake wreaths because those were Lou's favorites but not much more than that. I hope she'll change her mind as we get closer to Christmas. We'll all get together as a family but it won't be the same without Lou. But we must do this for the little ones so they can enjoy it. They don't understand so we are going to make it special for them. Because Lou would be the biggest kid amongst them, getting into the presents, food, and just being a kid. That's what Lou loved to do most... Hope you all have a Merry Christmas (sorry, I'm not politically correct... never have been, never will be!) I will be back on this little goofy corner of the cyber-world before too long...

Update... Post Turkey...

Hey,
Once again, many MANY thanks for all the prayers for me and my family... Lou is still in the hospital, still on a vent. Her fevers have stopped so she has gotten a little better...She wakes up and recognizes us so that's good. She is still on dialysis for now. She has shown some mild improvement but she still knows what's coming. She can't audibly speak because of the trach, but I've worked at trying to read her lips when she tries to talk. I'll never forget when I walked in and saw her. I hadn't been in for a few days because of my schedule taking me out of town. So I walk into her room, and her face just lit up... I'll never forget that look. I went to see her on Thanksgiving but she was out like a light for the whole visit. This time around, she was so happy to see her goofy brother that she had a smile on her face, a little rusty from lack of use. She was able to whisper to me some things. I thought about half a second of trying to put on the happy face and make believe everything was just ducky. But not a chance. I wouldn't want anyone to do that with me, so I didn't do that with Lou. She seemed to appreciate that. I held her hand and was telling her some stories of how my gal pal cracks the whip to keep me in line. Lou was actually laughing. Yes LAUGHING. Again, a little weak from lack of use. She had a smile on her face and I walked out of that hospital with raging emotions. Part of me was just dying inside because I know that somewhere in there, my sister with a passion for life, is still there. And I want her back full time. But I know the reality of the situation. If she continues to hold on like this, we're considering hospice care at home. Terri is adamant about bringing her home eventually if nothing changes and whatever happens, will happen. We know what Lou and all of us are up against. But the one thing that unites us as we continue on this journey... faith... yes, FAITH! Believing in God doesn't mean freedom from troubles. But the ability to deal with the highs and also the lows during troubled times. When I thought about what it was going to be like seeing Lou and wondering how many more times, if any, I'd get to see her. All of that was wiped off my mind and the sight of making her smile and then making her laugh. When I was outside of the hospital doors, out of sight of everyone, I wept. But the frustration of why couldn't she be healed was replaced by the memory of her laughing at me while I was telling her how my gal pal keeps me in line... I'll always treasure that...

Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving... You might think there's not a lot in my life to be thankful for... but that would be just flat out wrong! My sister Lou told us she wants us to stop everything. She is in agony and has had enough. We are looking at Hospice and considering some other options. We'll discuss things as a family and make some very tough choices. But I am thankful... I'm thankful we know her wishes and will be able to honor her requests. I'm thankful that while she's suffering, we don't have to guess what to do, thereby saving a lot of angst. I'm thankful that with them implementing hospice care, they can make Lou comfortable for what ever time she has left. Most of all, I'm thankful that we can prepare for what is upcoming. Most folks don't get time to prepare or say goodbye. We get that time... It won't be easy. It never is. But we've got a lot to be thankful for... I hope you and yours have a blessed Thanksgiving. If you don't live in the States, then I hope you have a great Thursday...

The Road Less Travelled...

Things are slowly going downhill for Lou. Her body is slowly starting to shut down. I went to the hospital last night to see her and she never even opened her eyes. She received her dialysis in her room and didn't wake up or anything. She fades in and out, occasionally recognizing us only sometimes, while fading out and staring off into space and closing her eyes and not really responding to us. I sat there looking at her and totally at a loss of what to wish for. Obviously, I want a miracle and get my sister back healthy. If that's not in God's plans, then I don't know what to pray for... should I pray she make it through the holidays for my family's comfort? Or should I pray that she not suffer and be at peace. But I don't want her to leave... Life can really suck sometimes. But the overriding thing for me is that I can't allow my greed to interfere with God's will. I've made my peace and have prayed on it and came to the conclusion that God is going to do what He wants to do and I need to surrender and allow Him to do his thing. And I've got to be okay with that. Not because I have to be... but because I want to be... Today is Veteran's Day/Rememberance Day. It's also Terri's birthday. It's not going to be super festive because Terri is taking all of this with Lou really hard. When Terri was going through sheer hell with all her battles with cancer, it was Lou who was there to help Terri when the rest of us had to work and all the other things that kept us apart for whatever reason. It was Lou who really stepped up and was there for Terri and helped her make it through. Terri had tried valiantly to take care of Lou but it has been overwhelming. So now it's all in God's hands. And Terri is really hurting right now because she sees our sister go through her agony and Terri can't fix it. I've gotten to the point where if it's God's will that she goes home to Heaven, I can accept that and I'm okay with that. My faith tells me that she will be healed in paradise if God calls her home. He can do anything that goes beyond all comprehension. My heart has accepted that whatever His will is, I will be okay with that.

In The Deep Freeze...

Hi folks...
I am feeling much better. Thanks for the prayers. They are much appreciated. Not much has changed around here... everything and everyone is still status quo for the moment. I have been working my butt off and it's been crazy. I had one of those "It was God" moments a few days ago. Terri's big freezer went out on her and she hasn't had another one yet. I figured I would get her one for her birthday and put it on layaway, making payments on it. Well, I had put 140 dollars down on it and got on with the rest of my life. I was driving and my front brakes decided to crap out on me. I knew I didn't have much in the way of money. I was not going to freak out about it and figured I'd milk it for a week till payday. Well, I got a call from the department store telling me the brand of freezer I'd gotten for Terri was being recalled so they wanted to refund my money back and they would let me know when the freezer was available for sale again. So I went and got the money from the store and drove the car next door to a brake shop to get my brakes done. The final total? One hundred thirty-eight dollars and 47 cents. I celebrated by going through the drive-thru at McDonald's and got a McDouble with that last dollar... lol Then I seen an ad in the Sunday paper for a freezer on sale for much cheaper than I was going to buy it for... Coincidence? I DON'T THINK SO...

Rockin...er... Coughing All Over The World

Hey all,
Sorry for not posting in a while. After my last post, I started to hack and wheeze and all the other fun things tied to pneumonia. I have been off work for a week (NO, I am not happy about that!) and have been feeling miserable. At first they thought it was Croup... Croup?? I guess it's making a comeback. Anyway, it turned out to be pneumonia and I've been coughing up all kinds of fun stuff for the last 8 days. I may have caught it from Lou of all people. I went to visit her almost 2 weeks ago and she was coughing it up big time. When I was leaving from visiting her, I leaned over and kissed her forehead and she was coughing up through her trach. As I think about it now, that is what most likely got me. But Lou is still hanging in there. God Bless her... She is still trying to live and is battling like no one I've ever met outside of Terri.
Well, it hasn't been all doomsday here. I am happy to say that my nephew Tony and his wife are the proud parents of a baby boy. And the most touching part is that they named the little guy after me and my father. His name is not Mik but my middle name Xavier. Talk about disarming and getting all choked up... oh wait! That's just me coughing up another lung oyster!

Surviving...

Once again, I appreciate the concern and prayers from all of you. Lou is still battling. Her breathing is better. She was moved to a long term hospital facility. We just gotta figure out about her mental status. That is the really hard part. But that is in God's hands now. I am wore out and Terri is about ready to drop as well. This is really been difficult on all of us but no one ever said any of it was going to be a breeze. Like the saying goes... Faith makes things possible... not easy. But faith is what I have and that is what I will continue to follow and adhere to... Right now I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. And trying to fight off what may be bronchitis... Life is such a hoot! Just please keep us in your prayers and I will try to update here a bit more frequently than I have been. I don't facebook... I don't tweet. I just do this and keeping up with this is a challenge most of the time. I appreciate your patience with me. Spent a much needed weekend with the gal pal. I got very invigorated by simply laying on the couch with my head on her lap and her running her fingers through my hair, telling me that we're going to get through all of this stuff happening. I fell asleep knowing that no matter what, we were going to be okay. Maybe not super fantastic, but sometimes okay is good enough...

Go For The Throat...

Hi Y'all,
Thanks for being patient and understanding. I haven't even given this blog a thought. And yet I know that there are some good friends here. People who care. People who pray for me and my family. People that are good and decent people. Helen, I'm glad that you got good news on Ken. I know it'll take time, but it will get better for him. I thank God for that. I appreciate all the kind words from Bucko, Carolyn, Indigo, Melanie, Guido, and everyone else that has stopped by here to check on me and my dopey little corner of the blogosphere. We're still battling with Lou. She had to have a tracheotomy done and that seems to have helped her with air exchange. But she still is terrified and gets antsy and easily agitated. She's just flat out scared. We try to calm her down, but most times it's to no avail... but she has been out of it most of the time since the trach was put in. She sleeps a lot more. Her heart seems to be a tad better. I think the family is doing a little better as a whole. This has kicked our butts to say the least. But like a timex, we take a lickin' and keep on tickin'... Thanks again for your prayers... They are deeply appreciated...

Down For the Count

Well, so much for getting better...

Lou was rushed to the hospital Monday morning. She stopped breathing and during the course of getting her breathing again, she had a heart attack. They managed to save her but she is out of it. She has heart damage, she'll need to have a tracheotomy, and of course her kidneys have shut down. She's in ICU on a vent. It's going to be a L-O-N-G road to go... if she makes it... I'm praying that she does... She has a lot to live for... but it's in God's hands now...

This is your brain on drugs?

Well, I'm going to be praying big time for Lou. Right now she keeps freaking out over at Rehab. She knows where she is and knows who we are... but she gets scared and has panic and anxiety attacks all the time. That is not her normal. So Terri tells me that it may have something to do with Lou's medications. They changed some of them and since then, it has had an adverse effect on her. Her doctor doesn't have privileges at the Rehab she's at so the resident doctors go check on her like two or three times a week. Terri took the bull by the horns and confronted Lou's doctor about this and the doc wrote orders to review Lou's meds and to make sure that she is seen daily and to figure out why she is in this condition. I pray to the Lord that she can recover from this mess... I want my spitfire sister back...

Things Are Looking Better...

Thanks for the words of encouragement and for the prayers for Lou. It was quite a struggle but Lou is getting better. She knows who we are again and was doing the things that Lou typically does when she is feeling better: complain that she wants to go home and then whine about wanting diet Pepsi. I think she realizes how close she came to buying the farm this time so she appreciates what is going on now. She was discharged from the hospital and is now in a physical rehab place and so the work begins. She hates these places but at least now she understands why she is there. She had no recollection whatsoever about what happened that put her in the hospital in the first place. In some respects, I guess that's a good thing. But when we told her how bad it was, she got a little shook up. But I think that helped her realize how serious this is. And that no one is trying to "stick her in a home". That the reason she is in the hospital and in physical rehab is to get her home. But it's going to be a long road back. I reminded her of how much she has to live for... of all the good things that are going to be happening soon. The pending arrival of my nephew and his wife's baby next month. Stuff like that. That made her tear up but I reminded her that she needed to be happy because a positive attitude will get her much farther than tears of frustration. I understand that she doesn't want to be there. Heck, I don't blame her for feeling that way. But like a preacher I listen to says: "The only way out is through..." She knows that she has to go through the rehab. Nothing is going to change that. So I hope and pray that her attitude holds up in a positive direction and that she can make it home soon.

Another Week, A Close Call...

Howdy y'all,
Lou was discharged last Friday and I got a call in the middle of the night from Terri that Lou was completely out of it and didn't respond to her. So, I went over there and Lou had taken apart the rail of her hospital bed and crawled to the recliner in the living room without her prosthetic legs on. Ended up in the recliner, breaking the recliner and didn't know why she did it or where she was. So after convincing Terri, I called 911 and she ended up back in the ICU where her levels were way off. She is physically doing better, but her mental status is still a concern. So please say a few prayers for her as she has a long road ahead of her. At least she's still recognizing everyone but she gets very scared and wants to go home. I don't blame her. I wish, I wish, I wish...
Haven't gotten to spend as much time as I'd like with the gal pal. She has been a solid rock for me in that she has been so incredibly patient with me and everything that is going on with my family. She has been so understanding and encouraging... I really don't know where I'd be without that woman... She has been such a blessing to me. She has absolutely no idea just how amazing and beautiful she truly is... People ask me sometimes how I deal with all of the stress in my life. That's easy. I lean on God, and I depend on my honey... and somehow, someway, I manage to put one foot in front of the other and even smile while I do it...

Hanging On Like Always

Hi folks,
I appreciate the thoughts and prayers. Things are still crazy around here. Lou is in the hospital but hopefully we'll find out what's going on as she still is confused and at times disoriented. Terri is worried but is hopeful for our sister. I was really worried as when I walked into the ER to see Lou, she didn't know who I was. But once she knew who I was, she remembered my gal pal who I didn't bring up so that made me feel a little better. In subsequent visits, I never asked if she knew who I was and she called me by my name. I feel better that she knows who I am again. But the big question is why she's going through this? We don't know why but they're running tests so hopefully we'll get some answers. Spending time with Lou is always an adventure. While she was in the ER, it was me, Terri, Ang, and Nancy... all people that Lou knows and loves. And in true family tradition, we were all cutting up and making morbid jokes in the face of fear. That is always a sign that somehow, someway, we're going to make it... My faith is getting stronger!

Rebooting...

Just looking at the list as I struggle and keep working at my faith... and try to hold on...

First... the one thing that I remind myself is that just because I'm a believer, nowhere... absolutely nowhere does it say that a Christian's life is going to be sunshine and bunny rabbits. We don't have all the answers. I don't know where people get that idea. I and we all that have faith, still struggle, have to go through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. No one ever said that we are better than anyone else or more importantly, that somehow we're better than those who do not share our faith. Believe me, one look at my life should serve as a perfect example. I'm a big time screw up who has a lot on his plate and still struggles on a daily basis trying to make sense of what is going on not only with my family, but with the crazy things that go on in the world around me. As a Christian, some have thought that I somehow have it all together or have all the answers, especially amongst non-believers. They're surprised to learn that we don't have it all together. That we screw up and make mistakes and blow it. I guess that's what gives me reassurance sometimes. The fact that I am no better than anyone else and struggle and try to fight the good fight like everyone else... the hope that I have in Him is what keeps me holding on and continue to put one foot in front of the other. Even in the face of adversity.

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivereth him out of them all" Psalm 34:19

"Remember, it's the Creator who gives purpose to the created"... Will Graham (grandson of Billy Graham)

I guess what I'm trying to say in all of this rambling is that when you don't know what, where, when, who, or the big one... WHY... just hold on. It's not about seeing through each other... it's about seeing each other through...

Gut Check Time

Hey folks,
I just wanted to give you a heads up on Lou. Lou's starting to deteriorate and it's becoming a lot more difficult to handle her. Terri is stressed to the point that her numbers are rising and she may have to get hit with chemo again. Then a whole series of miserable events occurred to make things even more crappy and Terri is at her wit's end. She feels like the family is under spiritual attack again. I'm not letting the evil one get away with it that easily. My family are prayer warriors. My gal pal and her family and her church are big time prayer warriors. I know that we've got a lot of folks that can pray for us... especially the girls. They need it big time. But I am not letting the devil have that kind of foothold in our lives. Sure things can suck sometimes. But I know that God is capable of anything. He can work in us and in those around us to help us deal with what's going on with us. I am not afraid anymore. Life can really whiz sometimes. But not all the time. I told Terri that I am going to help her with a couple of things so that she can lose a little of the stress she has. It will help her I pray... I've got to do right by them. They've always been there for me. I want to help them to get back to feeling better...

Why I Don't Celebrate Birthdays...

Soooo...

Last Friday was another birthday that I wanted to ignore. Of course, I couldn't escape it because I was blessed to have family and some really nice friends (including a number of YOU FOLKS) that didn't let me ignore it.I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart. It did mean a lot to me. So one might be led to think that maybe my birthday was going to be a grand time with lots of fun and frivolity in various locales with food, fun, and laughter. Well, I went 0 for 3 however looking back at the weekend, I had to laugh so that I didn't go nuts entirely... I guess the best way to describe the birthday is to do a review in time lapse fashion so that you can appreciate (or better yet, laugh at) my plight. First, a little background. As you read in my previous post, I was preparing for an exhibition all-star football game that was going to be televised on local cable. We were also going to stream the audio live on-line. So everything is going along rather okay. Until I get a call from the co-founder (the other person of that duo is yours truly) of this little venture that we're trying to make successful. Since he handles all the production side behind the camera, he's got to make sure that all the parts and thing-a-ma-jigs are working. So he calls me on Thursday, the day before the game and tells me that his computer isn't working and that he needs me to bring my set up to the game on Friday so that we can stream the audio of the game on the net. I just switched over to a Verizon moble hotspot and so far it hadn't worked worth a turkey. So on Thursday I went to Verizon and showed them my contraption and told them I needed it to work and that I needed it the next day. The young kid behind the counter didn't want to upset me so he says “I will Fed Ex a new one to you overnight.” I tell my spazzed partner on the phone that I'm going to have it in my hands on Friday by no later than three. I should have known better... What follows are the chronological events of Friday... game day... my birthday...

6am: Wake up after a short night of sleep. Look outside at my car which is serving as target practice for the seagulls.

8am: Head over to the ATM since it was payday. Got a couple of nice texts wishing me happy birthday.

8:20 Drive to the car wash and wash all the bird turds off

8:30 Head to the donut shop to pick up some treats for the folks in the office.

8:32 Get a phone call from Mike as he freaks out about some production issues and I am resisting the urge to strangle him and I try to keep calm with a box of donuts in my hand. I set them down to try and rationalize with goofy...

9am: I arrive at work only to realize that I set the donuts down on the ROOF of my car and that said donuts are now strewn on Interstate 75. Just then, a bird flying over my car delivers me a personal birthday gift that he made himself.

12pm: I leave work early to go get a bite to eat and wait for the new mobile hotspot that was being Fed Ex'd overnight to my house by 3pm.

1pm: Begin to pack up everything that I needed including computer, tv monitor, headset, and what not...

2:45pm: Start to get nervous that Fed Ex hasn't shown up yet.

3pm: Still no Fed Ex.

3:30pm: I call Verizon and explain what's going on and they check the tracking number and tell me that it's not coming till Monday. I about give birth to puppies on the spot. The Verizon rep calls the store and tells them to give me a new mobile hotspot. He asks me to go the store (20 minutes out of my way) and bring my receipt to pick it up. I'm trying to contain my emotions as I have to be at the stadium by 5...

3:40pm: I pack up what I need to as I figure I can get over there by 4 or a little after and exchange it and test it on my laptop to make sure everything works.

3:55pm: Almost to the Verizon store when I realize I forgot to bring the receipt with me and at this point, I'm channeling the Menendez brothers as I spin the car around and head back to my house to pick it up.

4:10pm: I go in the house and grab the receipt, head over to the store, and eventually get there by 4:25...

4:25pm: I go into the store and meet the store manager and sales manager. I give them the paperwork and they give me a new hotspot. I test it on my laptop and it doesn't work. I'm dreaming of little Verizon voo-doo dolls and smashing them repeatedly in effigy. The manager tried to convince me that it was my laptop that was the problem until he tried to log on using HIS laptop and it didn't work either. At this point Mik... thy name is CUJO...

FIVE OCLOCK: I finally leave with another hotspot in hand. Mike is wondering where the heck I'm at. On the road, I'm processing everything that I need to do in my head when it dawns on me that I forgot the tv monitor back at the house. I'm ready to go Lee Harvey on everyone when I drive by a Big Lots. I drive into the parking lot and walk in and grab some batteries and see that they have a 15 inch flat screen tv for 79 bucks. I was so ticked that I bought it on the spot.

5:40pm: I arrive at the Stadium and Mike informs me that he got his set up running and that we won't need my computer system after all... I start to knit a voo-doo doll of a tv producer when he informs me that we wont be using the tv monitor for the replays. I spontaneously combust...

7pm: Kick off and we don't have everything put together but the show goes on and we get through it.

10:40pm: I send a text to the gal pal that I'm on my way home.

11:15pm: I hop on line to chat with the gal pal for the first time all day. Just long enough for her to wish me a happy birthday and for me to say I've got to get up in 4 hours for work at the daytime job. I eat a sugar free lemonade popsicle that I bought at the dollar store and go to bed...

1:30am: I finally doze off for a couple of hours and get right back up. And who says I don't know how to celebrate a birthday? Just keep the sharp objects away from me, that's all I ask...

Another Week Begins...

The carousel of health issues. Lou goes to the doctors tomorrow for a check up. She is getting more forgetful and has panic attacks. She'll go to the doctor and tell her that everything is fine. I know her doc who is a friend of mine. So after her appointment, I'm going to try and talk to her doctor and let her know what's going on. We'll see what happens. Keep her in your prayers... I'd appreciate it.
Other than that, not much else is happening around here. Spent some time with the gal pal this past weekend... ALWAYS a bonus! She keeps hinting at a wedding... I'm gonna have to give in one of these days. LOL... She's worth it.
But I'm going to spend my birthday this Friday (sorry Carolyn, I'm a July baby) broadcasting an all star football game online. Normally I'm excited about this because we're getting close to the start of football season and then my favorite... HOCKEY season!!! But I know how much this puts a drain on my gal pal. She is soooo patient with me. She allows me to go and be a sports maniac for most of the year. She listens to all of my games even though she has no concept of hockey and could care less about it... She just loves listening to her man... Hmmmm, I'm going to have to marry that girl...

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year... yeah, right!

So, it's my least favorite time of year... because I'm surrounded by... by.... BIRTHDAYS! Apparently my parents and other relatives back then needed to keep warm in the winter because there are about six of us in the family that have birthdays within a month of each other. And that includes a number of my nephews and a niece so that means shopping for gifts... Ugh! I've got another birthday coming up in a couple of weeks. I don't mind that I'm getting older. I still feel reasonably good, thank the Good Lord. And I know that I'm not a kid any more. But I still feel like one sometimes. I enjoy that when I can do that... I don't mean it as in calling everyone "dude" or watching MTV or something stupid like that. No, I am a guy who is pushing 47 and still loves sports in large quantities much to the chagrin of my gal pal. But she loves me anyway. I still live old school rock music and culture. I still wear cargo shorts even though I'm too dang big to be wearing them. I eat more tv dinners than home cooked meals which may have something to do with my being too dang big in the first place!

When Mayflies Become June-flies

OKAY... what is worse? Mayflies swarming on a few trees? or Hockey fans in Vancouver being Canuckle heads for burning cars, looting, and just out and out stupidity. Hey, at least in Miami they didn't trash the place because D-Wade and LeBrick couldn't shoot a basketball... Just finishing up my winter sports fix for the summer! Seemed odd to say but I digress. It's summer so it's time to endure the mayflies for the next few weeks here on the lake. Before beautiful weather without swarms of pests takes over. Hope all of you dads have a good father's day and for those of you that are sans offspring enjoy it anyway...

Oh Deer...

So here we are heading into summer ( I don't think anyone reads my blog from the southern hemisphere) and man oh man is the weather messed up. My thoughts and PRAYERS go to the fine folks in Tuscaloosa, Joplin, and Springfield (both IL and MA). This is plain nutty.
Speaking of weird, I went down to see the gal pal (always a picker upper) and we got to spend a couple of nice days together. On my way back home, I began to notice something that I wasn't particularly aware of prior to this past weekend. At first, I saw a deer that had been run over and it's remains were on the side of the highway. Never a nice thing but I understand that when these creatures dart out in front of the semi-trucks that are going full tilt carrying their loads, that things like that can happen. What struck me as odd, was that I didn't even go a half mile (or kilometer for those of you outside of the States), before I saw another deer that had been mowed down on the highway. I think the thing that I thought most bizarre was that usually, the folks that take care of the highways in their areas, usually are first to clean up any unfortunate mishaps like this. I guess it wasn't in the budget this year because as I drove over a 2-hour span, I must've saw about a dozen deer who where struck down by oncoming traffic. Of course, me being the type of goofball that I am, the first thing that occurred to me was "awww... potential Bambi and Thumper..." of course the next thought I had wasn't quite so nice because I thought of the old Gary Larson cartoon "The Far Side" and the cartoon where he has Santa at a keyboard and the title of Santa's entry was.... "Nine Ways to Make Venison..." I know, I know.... I'm such a dork!

Beauty and the Beast... Mik Style...

This is why I'm so at peace. I have a wonderful woman who I'm sure would like to ring my neck at times but still loves me anyway. I can't find the words to say how much this woman means to me. She keeps me in check and I continue to grow as a person and a man who loves this girl. By the way, in other news, Terri's surgery went well and she's feeling a whole lot better. Thanks for your prayers. I wanted something here to brighten my day and nothing my brightens my day quite like my gal pal does...

Oh brother (or sister or nephew)...

Hi there...
I've been busier than I could have imagined since the hockey and basketball seasons have ended. The family is hanging in there as best they can. Terri is getting ready to have her FIFTH surgery since January when she had her double mastectomy. She is hoping this will help clear things up. Come to think of it, so am I.
I guess the one thing I've learned, is patience. I've learned to appreciate the small things more than ever before. Life is so precious. I don't take it for granted. I stopped over to see Terri for mother's day and of course I ate because when you go to Terri's, that's what you do. Anyway, it was pretty cool because after about an hour, Tony my nephew with his Amanda, and Alex with his Amanda and the little ones all showed up and we had an absolute blast. It was enjoyable to see them and we spent a few hours laughing with Tony getting ready to become a dad for the first time, I had to give him grief about giving up video games in exchange for diaper duty. I told him he'd never survive and when he'd reach to pull his hair out, there wouldn't be any there. He rolled his eyes at me and tried to act all tough and stuff. He started cracking little nuggets like "I can do what I want"... He was lying on the couch on Amanda's lap when he said that. Bad move on his part. Amanda is a woman who doesn't take any crap off of him and I thought she was going to strangle him on the spot. The rest of us were laughing at him and he just stuttered and finally gave up and just laughed himself... it was a good mother's day...

Go Blue? Really?

We're only half way through the week and already I'm ready to go nuts... people wanting to strangle each other and it's just been a hectic week. But just when I think that I'm coming apart at the seems... I am reminded of why I am an Ohio State fan. I work in Ohio but live in Michigan. There's always the back and forth between the fans. Lately its been the Buckeyes who've been getting taken to the woodshed. But once in a while, I have a moment where I can say "must be a Michigan fan" and I get a gem like this come across my path...

Caller: "I was wondering if you guys have a website to go to so that I can see what kind of jobs you have?"
The caller is given the website to check on employment opportunities...
Caller: "okay that's fine but will it work for me here Michigan? Can I get to the website from up here?"
um... uhhh... (the sound of scratching head)

again, you can't make stuff up like this!

Gotta love them Michigan fans... or not!

Rootin' Hootin' and Tootin'...

Spent the weekend with the gal pal (always a treat)... we went and saw the movie "Soul Surfer" which is based on the true story of the teenage surfer in Hawaii who had her arm chewed off by a shark and how she came back and surfed again. A very moving story if ever there was one. Both me and the gal pal enjoyed it immensely. Had a nice dinner afterwards and what dinner and movie date would be complete without the obligatory trip to Wal-Mart? I love that place!
After spending a fantastic weekend with her, I made the long trek home. I stopped for a bite (read: a couple of Coneys at Gold Star Chili) and both there and Skyline Chili are always a treat and worth stopping for because their are no locations anywhere near my town... I went in and placed my order and could hear a family sitting at a table just being themselves and talking over each other. As I grabbed my food and was leaving I heard the following between two sisters who appeared to be ages 12 and 9...

12 year old: "you're being a pain, you are making a mess!"
9 year old: "I am NOT"
12 year old: "Yes you ARE. You've spilled it all over the table"
Mom: "Girls, come on now"
12 year old: "Why can't you just stop it"
9 year old: "It's all because you FARTED!!"
12 year old: ... (complete silence) ...

You can't make stuff like this up...

Well, so much for the Blue Grass...

UK lost (read: they gave away) a game they should have won, in losing to eventual NCAA champ UConn by one point... This really had my gal pal feeling a little bummed. But to give you an idea where her mind is... We watched the game together last Saturday night after she had been in a wedding of one of her cousins. The wedding was over by 8:30 (didn't have a long reception) and my beloved got changed and we hurried home so that we could be there by tip-off. Now she was a little bummed at the outcome. But forever the optimist, my much better half looks at me square in the eye, and with the biggest smile says "oh well, at least we beat Ohio State!" ... I really love that woman... drives me crazy sometimes but I love that woman...

Feeling Blue... and happily so!

So,the great battle of OSU and UK completed and UK upset the number one team in all the land, I have to deal with the gal pal reminding how great her team is... I don't mind though. I text her during the game and told her that I was pulling for UK. She was so happy when UK won in what was arguably the best game of the tournament so far. Then yesterday, UK struck down North Carolina and advanced to the final four... This has made my better half sooooooooo delirious with the thought of another championship dancing around in her head. I have to admit that I'm happy too. Namely cause she's a happy camper right now because her team wasn't expected to do what they're doing in this tournament. Plus I'm a Kentucky fan now too. Keeps the peace that way...lol...

Tip Off

Man oh man,
Talk about if I had didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all... Well, the Cherokee lost in the playoffs for hockey and got eliminated. So when I broadcast the Hurster Cup this week, it'll be totally unbiased (and only mildly interested). To make things more interesting this week, my gal pal and I both are in my NCAA basketball tournament pool. And her very favorite team who she is ferverent and wildly passionate about, the Kentucky Wildcats, play this friday. I've become a Kentucky fan for basketball. I enjoy watching the tradition and how the fans are the most rabid I've seen for basketball. My only problem is that I was born and raised an Ohio State fan. I was also raised a Notre Dame fan. But since they got bounced early, I still have the Buckeyes. So now the other half, she is telling me that I'm not a real UK fan. I am a UK fan. But I don't have the time invested in them like I do Ohio State. Its not that I don't want Kentucky to win on Friday night. But I don't want to see the Buckeyes lose either. My sweetie is giving me loving, playful hints about the game on Friday night... ("prepare to die Buckeyes!!") lol... But OSU is the overwhelming favorite going into this game. I'm not saying too much cause I know how passionate she is about her Cats. For her, it's so much more. I told her if the Wildcats win, then I would pull for UK. I asked her if she would do the same if OSU won... of course she said "Heck NO"... So when I get home Friday night. She'll have the game on at her house, and I'll have the game on at mine. But we won't have anything to do with each other until Saturday.... this is serious stuff...lol... wars have been started over less...

The Luck of the Irish?? Really?

Hey guys,
Thanks to all of you who came around and visited and prayed for me and my family. Still haven't heard from my family down south, but I've let it go... If it's going to happen, then it will happen. I've spent the last week and a half having to look at reality. Took Terri to her doctor's appointment and they decided to admit her immediately. She had to have more surgery the next day. They told us she's a medical mystery. She had the double mastectomy and when they did an MRI to check her for more walls of tumors, there were none. But there were six pockets of fluid along the chest cavity and they had to go back in and remove those. She's got them stumped. I just say God has a definite plan for her and I think He has a sense of humor. So she gets out of the hospital and Ang, my kid sister who had a double mastectomy a few months ago, calls me out of the blue and says that she's in the ER with her youngest who broke his arm in two places. They're going to need to do surgery on his arm because of the severity of the break. If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone's messing with my process. It feels that way sometimes. But I know better than that. I think that's why God has put so many cool people in my path. A lot of you guys and people in my day to day life have gone through far worse than me and have survived to let your tests be your testimony. Me, I am doing pretty good. Even as crazy as things have been here lately, I know that we're doing alright. Heading to Peoria to broadcast playoff hockey games this weekend (Fri, Sat)... Seven hours on a bus with a bunch of hockey players... ugh... But it's what I love to do... And it's a bit of normalcy for me and it lets me know that God has blessed me with a great sense of relief and gives me more life to look forward to... Hope you made your March Madness NCAA picks :)

One For The Books...

Don't know how to feel...
Got a call from Terri who told me that one of my favorite Aunts had passed away. That was sad, no question. I hadn't talked to or seen my aunt in quite a while (before we lost my dad). But I always had warm thoughts about her. I spent some time in her house right after I graduated from high school as a kid. She lived in Texas and I wanted a change. I didn't last too long (something about there not being any snow... aka home sickness) and I headed back up north before too long. Our family had bonded with her and her kids more than any other relatives. Which made this such a weird situation. Terri got a call from my dad's brother who lives a couple of hours from where my aunt did, just to check on the family. He mentioned my aunt in passing and it turns out she passed away last month! Uh, what? Absolutely no one bothered to call us to tell us about her... She has 10 kids so you'd figure someone might want to drop us a line... But we didn't get one call, note, email or anything... I'm sure it was simply an oversight. But it made those of us north of the Mason-Dixon line feel pretty lousy. Especially because we couldn't grieve with them or go down to pay respects... nothing... I was a little ticked off at first but then I figured that it probably wasn't intentional. We can still pray for her and for them. Has anything like that ever happened to you? This was a first for me... it was weird... just plain weird...

Life and Love... My View...

Hi y'all...
I'm feeling a bit more chipper after my last whining session... Terri, who had to endure a THIRD surgery while she was in hospital, was finally able to come home from the hospital and is one hurting girl. But hopefully, this will be the last of it and maybe she can heal and try to live... wow... LIVE... what a concept! Me, I'm doing okay. I've run across some people who've helped me realize just how fortunate I am and how fragile life can be. I seen a couple of severely handicapped kids and it almost moved me to tears. I am usually one of the most cold and cynical people on the planet... But this really affected me. I would always say a quick prayer for folks like this, but I was really bothered because in my head I was thinking "Lord, why? What did they do to deserve this?" But the answer hit me almost immediately: "they didn't do anything to deserve this." No one ever said life was fair. And seeing these precious kids made me realize that I can pine about how unfair it is. Or I can be grateful for every day of life that I'm given. Either way, it's not going to change their predicament per se'... But maybe, just maybe... I'm the one learning the lesson here. They seemed to be happy and were well taken care of by some good-hearted (read: Angelic) people. And what popped into my head and my heart was the fact that I learned more about what genuine love is from five minutes in front of these kids than I ever could teach or show someone else.
Speaking of showing love, I got to spend three hours with my beloved gal pal in the middle of a mall food court in Cincinnati on Valentine's day weekend. We just sat there and talked and talked. I learn more and more about love from her than I could ever show her. She thinks I'm the greatest guy but truth be told, she is the greatest and God put that dear woman in my life to keep me from completely sinking when I was feeling low. She is such a loving, warm and caring creature. I gave her a few goodies for Valentine's day, including a card that was almost as big as she is... lol...

Just Passing Through

Where to begin... in the last 2 weeks, 2 people from work passed away unexpectedly. Both were very nice people and though they worked in different departments, I dealt with both. Then Terri shoots me a text saying that an aunt of ours and a cousin of ours that we knew growing up also passed away. I hadn't seen them in quite some time. But I remember them fondly. It was like a part of my childhood drifted away. I guess that's part of life. When people you remember from your youth start dying, it not only reminds you of how fragile life can be, but it gets you thinking about people you used to know, people you loved, people you couldn't stand (lol), most of these folks I haven't seen in years. And yet when I hear of someone passing, it takes me back to a completely different time. I was reading in the paper the other day that one of my favorite music artists passed away as they found him in his motel room. He'd had a heart attack. His music was pretty much the sound track of my youth. (His name was Gary Moore and he'd played in the band Thin Lizzy) I guess the reason I'm writing about all these folks passing is because they all happened in the same time frame. And I guess it got me thinking about my own mortality. Strange how that works... Tomorrow would've been my mom's birthday. I guess it all falls together like that for a reason. On the still alive front, Terri is going back into the hospital for more surgery. They found some infected tissue in her chest and they need to take it out pronto. So hopefully this one won't be as traumatic as the last one. I'll keep in touch and let you know how it goes...

A Word About God... and synthesized pop music!

It's been a while now that you've read what I've written for over the last six years. Most of it about my goofy self or my family's struggles. The day after my first entry, my father went to Heaven. What a start... And then we can't forget the bizarre and weird time that was an ex-girlfriend and the nonsense there. But then came the slow development of my faith. Still not completely understanding it all, but knowing that there was something better and I wanted to find it. Then when I thought I was meant to be alone, God put an absolute angel in my path that simply rocked my world. When I thought that my heart was nothing but shredded raw hamburger, she completely turned my world upside down and my heart was not only healed, but restored and came roaring back to life. But God has a sense of humor as it had to happen under the wackiest of circumstances. Then the focus shifted back to my family, in particular, their health. It seemed like every time we would take one step forward, one of us would get knocked two steps back. Reoccurring tumors with Terri. Lou literally getting knocked senseless and suffering from some memory loss to this day. The sucker-punch of Angie finding out that she had breast cancer and her subsequent double mastectomy. Not to be outdone, Terri finds out that she had to have a double mastectomy herself and last Monday, she went under the knife. Now afterwards, they were worried about finding more tumors and that they may have spread. As of this writing, no new tumors have been found. No spreading of the others either. So right now, she's in a bit of a holding pattern. During this whole enchilada, (an a.d.d. moment- what is it with me and food?) I found myself wondering why God allowed this to happen to our family like this. I've never doubted His having a purpose for all of this, but in my mind I kept thinking "when is enough, enough?" I'm sure there's always going to be more peaks and valleys that we all will go through. I kept telling myself to just believe. Love God, I'd tell myself, and He would see us through it. So I did... I tried to do all the right things including prayer. I did them with my heart and yet there were times that I felt something was missing. I couldn't put my finger on it. Then, when Terri sent me that text saying the pathology report came back negative, she was so grateful. "God is so awesome" she said. I told my gal pal the good news and she was thrilled. Later, I said goodnight to her and expected to go to sleep because I had to go to work in the morning. But I couldn't sleep. Something was gnawing at me on the inside. So while I was looking at some classic rock videos on You Tube, I was watching a video of a Christian rock band (Petra) and it was at this point that it hit me... It's in the middle of the night and it finally became clear to me. The reason that I felt out of sorts over all of this was that I felt like a doorknob. I wanted to be really mad at Him for allowing this stuff to happen to my family but couldn't bring myself to do that. I was frustrated with everything but I knew it wasn't His fault. But I still wanted to be po'd and figured that He was the only one who could understand. I didn't lash out but it was hard for me to acknowledge my Savior and say "I love you God" when I was feeling so distressed. But finally, through all of this, with a simple text from my sister, and while listening to an over-produced cheesy keyboard laden pop tune, I felt the desire to look up and give thanks and tell God that I loved Him. Not because I had to... because I wanted to. I remembered that He understands our frustration and it's okay to be disappointed and a little ticked. He's been in my shoes and has gone through far more than I will ever know. More than I can ever thank Him for... He wants me to love Him... I love you God... cheesey, awful pop music optional! And then I slept like a baby... And woke up to a lovely beautiful SNOWSTORM!!! Like I said, God has a sense of humor.

Cruise Control

So, Terri's double mastectomy went without a hitch. She's still hospitalized but is hanging in there. Typical of her. She appreciates all the prayers... so do I. That's been the big deal going on in my world right now. I'm trying to keep calm and peaceful through all of this. For the most part, I am... afterall, I'm not the one getting major surgery and having a major part of my body removed. As a friend remarked to me today about my family's situation: "is there a black cloud following you?" No there is no black cloud following me or my family. I have faith that my family is going through this for a reason. God knows that reason. I don't. But that is not going to shake my faith. I believe we're going to be okay. It'll be a struggle at times, but it will be surmountable. Other than that, not much else happening. It'll get better here though. It's not a deep freeze right now. It seems weird that it goes up to a frosty 23 degrees and I feel that is a warm up of some sort. But a cooling trend is on the way... down to single digits again this weekend... OH YIPEEEE...

On Thin Ice... Splat!

ahhhhh... I love the ice. Every weekend, I get to go to a rink whether our home rink, or if we're on the road, we get to go where there's ice. I love the ice. There is something spiritual for me when I put on skates and go for the occasional skate. I don't do it that often anymore, but when I do, it feels wonderful. It really does allow me to clear the senses and free my mind from all the stress and crud that goes on... I have always had a deep respect for the ice. I got up for work yesterday and went outside to get to the post office and then to work. I felt an odd feeling as I went to close the door. It was ice. The same ice that I treasure within the confines of a rink. The same ice that I get such a rush from when I lace up the skates. The ice that wasn't visible with the naked eye that I stepped on. Of course my natural instinct was to try and catch my balance and avoid going to the ground. Ooops! Bad move on my part. I ended up doing the splits, my feet going out from under me and SPLAT!!! Splat was funny when I watched the Road Runner cartoons on tv as a kid. When the Coyote's endless supply of cash would buy weapons galore from the Acme company to knock off the Road Runner, he inevitably would screw everything up and fall from high altitude locations and go SPLAT on the ground. After yesterday, as I sit here feeling a little more stiff and sore, I can appreciate what ol' Wyle E. Coyote- super genius- went through every time he went down... Some day I hope he gets that dang Road Runner!! Splat indeed!!

A Look Ahead...

So here we are, our tootsies barely dipped into the sea of 2011 and already it's just crazy. After the senseless violence in Arizona, it puts things in total perspective. Sad... terribly sad. Prayers go out to the victims and their families.
In lighter fare, had a great Christmas and New Year's. Got to spend some time with the gal pal and that was humorous. Watched lots of sports (not exactly an interest of hers) but I took time out to put the first season of "Castle" in the DVD player. We watched all 12 episodes... we are so lame...lol... But I needed the time with her where we just took it easy and relaxed. I always feel rejuvenated and recharged when I spend time with her. She is my future. No doubt about it. My sister Terri's double mastectomy is on the 24th... Say a prayer if you would please be so kind?
My question to you all is what is your New Year's resolution for 2011? Or at least one of them... Mine is to spend some more time with the gal pal. She wants me around and she is always so patient in putting up with me. So I feel that I've got to try and do that for her. That's mine, what's yours?