Monday, March 07, 2011

One For The Books...

Don't know how to feel...
Got a call from Terri who told me that one of my favorite Aunts had passed away. That was sad, no question. I hadn't talked to or seen my aunt in quite a while (before we lost my dad). But I always had warm thoughts about her. I spent some time in her house right after I graduated from high school as a kid. She lived in Texas and I wanted a change. I didn't last too long (something about there not being any snow... aka home sickness) and I headed back up north before too long. Our family had bonded with her and her kids more than any other relatives. Which made this such a weird situation. Terri got a call from my dad's brother who lives a couple of hours from where my aunt did, just to check on the family. He mentioned my aunt in passing and it turns out she passed away last month! Uh, what? Absolutely no one bothered to call us to tell us about her... She has 10 kids so you'd figure someone might want to drop us a line... But we didn't get one call, note, email or anything... I'm sure it was simply an oversight. But it made those of us north of the Mason-Dixon line feel pretty lousy. Especially because we couldn't grieve with them or go down to pay respects... nothing... I was a little ticked off at first but then I figured that it probably wasn't intentional. We can still pray for her and for them. Has anything like that ever happened to you? This was a first for me... it was weird... just plain weird...

10 comments:

Joann said...

Awww, Mik, I'm so sorry... BIG Hugs to you and to your sisters.

I don't think it was intentional really... sometimes in grieving, there is just so much to do and think about. I would think that by NOW, they'd have called... but still.... who knows what they were going through this last month.

Did they have a way to get in touch with you?? I remember when my dad passed away, we didn't have phone numbers of any of his extended family back east (they weren't that close to us, though)... I finally got ahold of some family a few years later on FB.

Why don't you give them a call and just let them know you just found out, maybe they'll offer a reason for not calling sooner.

ADB said...

Mik,
I am very sorry to hear of your loss, but I hope that your memories will help you come to terms with the passing of your aunt.

Guido

I Have Tea said...

Hi Mik, I'm here via Guido/Call for Support. I'm so sorry to hear of your Aunt's passing. Prayers for you and your family.

Jeanie said...

Hello Mik I too am here via Guido/ Call for support. My family is very large and over the years there have sometimes been ommisions to let our side of the family know about deaths in the family. I believe it is because the young ones aren't as aware of their extended families as their parents were. It isn't intentional so you are right not to take it the wrong way.
I will pray for the repose of your loving aunt's soul. May God rest her!
Jeanie

madcobug said...

I am so sorry Mik. Yes it was odd that none of you got a call about your Aunt. I pray that your sisters are doing better.
Helen

Indigo said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

This hasn't happened to me, but my daughter has dealt with something similar.

Her great grandmother passed away. She's close to her grandfather (his mother is the one that died) but he felt it was her father's responsibility to let her know.

He didn't. Three weeks later she found out and she's hurt. Skye lambasted her dad for shutting her out.

In some ways it ended up being for the better. The lines of communication improved between my daughter and her dad. At least now he makes a half-hearted attempt to keep in touch with her. And you wonder why I don't miss that side of the family since the divorce...(Hugs)Indigo

Sandisan said...

Families are hard, we just recently lost a cousin who lived pretty close to us but her son didn't let us know for almost a month. So of course you say prayers but it's almost as though the death was not treated as anything. My Mom is 90 my Dad is 94 and they could not understand why they weren't told she was that sick or near death so at least they could of spoken to her perhaps...to ease her passing as they had so much history together down through the years. They took it as "hey you are old, you don't matter anymore" we had a job calming my parents down after this....came here through Guido

Connie Higginbotham said...

So very sorry for your loss. Glad that you have fond memories..

FrankandMary said...

The memories always live on.
I am so very sorry. ~Mary

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Always hard to hear after the fact.