Friday, November 11, 2011

The Road Less Travelled...

Things are slowly going downhill for Lou. Her body is slowly starting to shut down. I went to the hospital last night to see her and she never even opened her eyes. She received her dialysis in her room and didn't wake up or anything. She fades in and out, occasionally recognizing us only sometimes, while fading out and staring off into space and closing her eyes and not really responding to us. I sat there looking at her and totally at a loss of what to wish for. Obviously, I want a miracle and get my sister back healthy. If that's not in God's plans, then I don't know what to pray for... should I pray she make it through the holidays for my family's comfort? Or should I pray that she not suffer and be at peace. But I don't want her to leave... Life can really suck sometimes. But the overriding thing for me is that I can't allow my greed to interfere with God's will. I've made my peace and have prayed on it and came to the conclusion that God is going to do what He wants to do and I need to surrender and allow Him to do his thing. And I've got to be okay with that. Not because I have to be... but because I want to be... Today is Veteran's Day/Rememberance Day. It's also Terri's birthday. It's not going to be super festive because Terri is taking all of this with Lou really hard. When Terri was going through sheer hell with all her battles with cancer, it was Lou who was there to help Terri when the rest of us had to work and all the other things that kept us apart for whatever reason. It was Lou who really stepped up and was there for Terri and helped her make it through. Terri had tried valiantly to take care of Lou but it has been overwhelming. So now it's all in God's hands. And Terri is really hurting right now because she sees our sister go through her agony and Terri can't fix it. I've gotten to the point where if it's God's will that she goes home to Heaven, I can accept that and I'm okay with that. My faith tells me that she will be healed in paradise if God calls her home. He can do anything that goes beyond all comprehension. My heart has accepted that whatever His will is, I will be okay with that.

13 comments:

Melanie said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you Mik


Melanie

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.

ADB said...

You remain in thoughts at this difficult time, Mik. I hope Lou is comfortable at this stage.

Kath said...

I came round by way of Guido's message through Call for support,to offer up my prayers for you and yours.May God be with you at this difficult time.Prayer is powerfull.Take Care God Bless Kath.

REGINA said...

at this point, all that can be done is to pray that God's Will be done for lou, and that He give the family peace and the ability to cope with God's decision. though we do not know each other, i will keep all in my prayers.

madcobug said...

I am sorry to read of this Mik. May God with with all of you at this time. I pray if it time for her to go home to be with Jesus that her time will be easy. Hugs for all of you. Helen

salemslot9 said...

I wouldn't pray she makes it through the holidays for your family's comfort

I pray for miracles, though

Lisa said...

I too came by through Guido. I will be Praying for your sister, you and your family. I wish each of you peace and strength during such a difficult time.
Lisa

Lynne said...

Hi Mik. It has been way too long since I've visited blog land. I am so sorry to read this news, and am praying with you for Lou and your entire family. May God and His angels surround you with care.

FrankandMary said...

Mik, I am so very sorry. I do not have the spirituality that you have, but I do hope that in a small way, that does comfort you.
~Mary

Carolyn said...

Mik, as usual I came in a couple of days late. I am so sorry for your family, my friend. I am sorry. I believe that no matter what, Lou is in her Father's hands, and He will take her when He knows the time is right- for Lou. I can only speak by my faith, which is the same as yours, because it's not me who has to go through this after everything else you and your family have gone through. But Lou needs to be made whole and well again. Whether the Lord chooses to do this in this world or in His, it is up to Him- but know that no matter when or what, He will never leave you nor forsake you. God bless you Mik my dear brother.

Connie Higginbotham said...

Lou knows that you are there for her and knows you love her.I pray as she passes over to her new life she is without pain.My own mother went into the hospital on my birthday this last month and passed away the next day.So I know what Terri is going through,that day will always remind me of my mother going to be with her Lord and saviour and joining my daddy.Prayers for you all and remember although she is not awake-she hears you-so tell her how much you love her,she will take that with her....

Riccie said...

My thoughts and prayers remain with you and your family...