A Pity Party

I guess I'm in a bit of a snotty mood. So forgive me for that right off the top. I had a borish day at work so that wasn't the problem. I don't know. I left work, went to a funeral home to pay my respects to a good friend of mine who lost her mom. She threw her arms around me and was so greatful and touched by me stopping by. I talked with her and her husband for a bit and then headed for home. I just don't know what it is... well, maybe I do... I've had to go through losing three friends who impacted me in my work life since the beginning of this year... and we're not even two months in to 2006 yet!!! I keep thinking about Tanner (from hockey), John, and Steve (from the hospital) and I wonder what in the world is going on? But then I start to get mad at myself because I know there are others out there who have lost loved ones much closer than I have. Those who have lost spouses. Those who have lost a child. Those people are suffering much deeper and it is when I think about them, that I feel so ridiculous for having a pity party for myself. I guess I'm ticked off... Not at God, not at my friends... I'm all kinds of cheesed off at death. I'm fed up with death... I know that it is a part of life... But I hate death! The only way I know how to get back at death is to try and embrace life and live it... my thinking is that when I am feeling sorry for myself about losing those that I've lost, then death wins. But when I choose to embrace life and place my focus on what is good about life, then I feel like I'm telling death to take a hike... I guess maybe I needed to get something off my chest... Sometimes I start writing about one thing, then out of nowhere... I go off about something I wasn't expecting to... SO THERE!!! I think I actually feel a little bit better... I'm such a dork!