Headlines...

Okay, I'm making it official... I'm officially filing papers to declare... that I'M the father of Anna Nicole's baby... And I shaved Brittney's head too... While I'm at it, about the JFK thing (I was a xygote... but a powerful one!) There, I feel better now... ugh!

I'm getting sick of what passes for 'news' these days. Okay, granted... most of it is political so that is enough of a reason to be turned off by all of it. The main networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN) and the print media, who do nothing but tear down this country and blame everyone on the right. The alternative media (Fox, Newsmax, Drudge, Talk Radio) who do nothing but rip the left and it's all negative to the point where I almost want to tune out what's happening. But c'mon people, there is some crap out there that makes the above comments I opened with, seem almost believable... especially the JFK assassination bit (hint: I wasn't born yet)... Examples? Here are some TRUE headlines...

"Stop Global Warming by Banning Beef Not Cars" Christian Science Monitor
"A Film Star in Kampala, Conjuring Amin's Ghost." (positive qualities of a brutal dictator?) NY Times
"Redefining Black" LA Times... Obama isn't "black enough" to get the support of the standing Black American leadership because of his White/Hawaiian/African (meaning NOT African American, but real African) heritage.
"Woman Allegedly Tries To Get Painkillers Under Her Dog's Name" AP

and my personal favorite:
"Canadian Man Suing Makers of 'America's Funniest Home Videos'" (apparently he mistook the title to mean 'north american') But can you imagine if it was to include 'north america' and we got videos from south of the border? It would be something like "Okay, here are some bloopers of some botched attempts to try and illegally cross the border. Call the kids in and let's have a laugh..."

And I'm not even going to mention about the Mexican illegals who are here, testifying against our border patrol who had the audacity to ACTUALLY DO THEIR JOB. And are now being prosecuted for it. I'm a proud American (of mexican descent) conservative, but even I think that the government has really dropped the ball on this one. Geez, we're giving the illegal meatheads immunity and are paying for them to be here, including free food and phone cards(???) But we can't give our troops a lousy phone card to call home with??? Now that really hacks me off big time. Why don't we give those illegal testifiers a Taco Bell gift card and a trip back across... Not a social security card, free hotel room for someone who smuggled illegal aliens and drugs TWICE across our border. Even they have the good sense to know that Taco Bell isn't real mexican food! I still eat Taco Hell though. It's just good fast food. I know, I know, I got sidetracked, but I'm trying to stay in a good mood...