From Happy to Crappy in One Afternoon...

Well, so much for the optimism and promise from Monday. Life has a funny way of pissing on a parade. Forgive my french, but I'm not in a stellar mood right now. I'm putting up a nice facade to people around me, but I'm bumming big time right now. After getting my nephew to the airport and sending him on his way, I was feeling pretty good. I wrote my last entry and posted it here and I had a good attitude as I headed into work at the hospital when I got a phone call from a lady up in one of the units. She told me that a very dear friend of ours was killed in a car wreck. I sat in total shock. I went completely numb. Sonja was a wonderful friend whom I knew for a number of years. She worked in a dept. where I used to go on the Saturday mornings that I worked to visit other friends that worked in her dept. and just shoot the breeze. Eventually, Sonja and I became friends as well. We had common interests and when the other friends had left the dept., I would go just to say hello and talk to Sonja about anything. We would talk politics, sports, life, (usually her kids and husband). I sat across from her a couple of weeks ago at a going away party for a mutual friend. We joked around a little bit before she left to go to another party somewhere near home. The last time I talked to her was last week when she called me for something work related and also asked how I was doing. She was busy, I could tell, but she also sounded happy. I'm supposed to work this Saturday morning. I don't know if I can go to her dept. without losing it. Right now I am not feeling anything. I've got other issues I'm thinking about right now too that are just as meaningful to me and I don't know... I don't know what to think or to feel or to say... God, I know you have your reasons for everything you do... but this hurts. It really does. Not just losing Sonja, but everything else going on... I'm beginning to really understand the quote from Job 1:21 in the Bible "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord"...