Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Back Where It Used To Hurt...

Editors Note: Anyone who has read this site for any length of time knows that I like to write my own songs/poems/weird crappola... and will post the lyrics up here from time to time. That's just me. That's why I call this 'Diary of Rock-n-Roll Men'... Sometimes when I have the urge to write, I will come up with useless drivel... such is life. And sometimes I have to go back and revisit where I came from in order to remind myself how far I've come and realize how blessed I truly am. This is one of those times. Didn't have the best of days (no one else's fault, just a rough day...) so instead of forcing myself to write something positive, I decided to go back to that place and re-examine where I was... well, as you will read here, instead of it being completely hopeless and empty, there's hope at the end because where I start out and where I end up... well, it's a true story. From where I once was, to where I am today. Two very different places...

Dark Stars

Alone in the dark… my head is full of questions that won’t see the light
I stare at the stars… I look and wonder how long I can keep up the fight

I should know better because I’m still standing here
But my mind’s playing games and it’s full of fear
Has anyone else felt like their life’s set on fire to burn?
I didn’t know which way my life should turn

Looking to the sky… Why won’t you speak when I need to hear your voice?
I tried to say goodbye… but somehow I felt that it wasn’t the right choice

Something inside is eating away at my soul
It’s tearing me up more than anyone knows
It’s good versus evil it’s right versus wrong
And my mind’s not sure if it can hold out for long

Sometimes it’s so hard. I want to listen to what else is going on in my mind
They say I’ve gone too far, that I’ll never reach that peace that I want to find

Then it clicked in my head that You let me see
My desire to live was the gift You gave to me
Of all the strange voices that I hear in my head
Yours is the only one that’s risen from the dead

I have nothing to hope for when it’s just my belief
But when You are there then it’s to my relief
That no matter how many times I go outside the lines
It’s because of Your Love that I know I will survive

So I give You my heart and I give You my soul
Your Glory and Grace, two things I will always know
The joy in my heart, takes the place of all of the pain
You put it there and I know I will live once again

Again, I'm not deep in depression or anything right now. But some times I need to remember how miserable I used to be so that I can appreciate where I'm at now which is a very happy person... I used to be the exact opposite. Very dark, very empty... I used to take comfort in being unhappy. No surprises, I knew I could count on it... like an old friend. Well, nowadays, I have NO time for friends like that! I want to live! and by the Grace of God... I WILL!!!

1 comment:

Jackson said...

You are such a great writer mik :)