Tuning In...

Well, I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend... Right now, everything (thankfully) is status quo. My gal pal's grandfather is home from the hospital and feeling a whole lot better. They thought is might be that dreaded 'c' word, but thankfully, it was a severe infection and he was horribly dehydrated. So they fattened him up a bit with meds and fluids, and he's home again. Thanks for the prayers and good wishes. They worked.
Terri is hanging on. I went to see her and Lou and they were both in pretty good moods. It was a typical household as Terri was working on a project for my nephew Dylan, Lou was playing backgammon, and Dyl was over visiting... well, at least in theory. As a 12 year-old, he doesn't go over to his aunt's to visit. He goes because she has cool toys ('Rockband' for X-box) and he gets spoiled and gets to eat whatever he wants. Oh, when life was so simple... I miss those days. When I was a kid we didn't have X-box, Wii, or even Nintendo for that matter... If I remember, we had four channels on tv (well, actually 8 because with the help of rabbit ears, we could pick up a couple in Detroit and one or two from Canada)... and we had outside. Me, I spent lots of time with the tv (because of the neighborhood I lived in... it was pretty rough) and I also spent a great deal of time with the radio. I fell in love with rock-n-roll, but also with listening to radio stations on the AM dial from far away places. As a kid from northern Ohio, I used to get all jazzed when I could pull in WOWO-AM from Fort Wayne. Or WCCO from Minneapolis. WABC from NYC... or WBZ from Boston. Every once in a while I'd get CFRB from Toronto. That was a whole other world for a kid from Ohio who never went anywhere. I even remember picking up KMOX from St Louis and WBAP and KRLD from Dallas... all the way up in Toledo, on a beat up old AM radio... now that radio stations can be picked up on the internet from anywhere in the world, it's not such a big deal. But to a little boy with no life... that beat up old AM radio was an escape to other places and in my mind, other worlds! I wouldn't trade those memories for ANYTHING...

Time Well Spent...

As per usual in life, highs and lows permeate the world of yours truly. I've simply learned to adjust and in the words of Steve Winwood “you gotta roll with it baby”. Stopped by Terri's to check on her. She's still feeling like ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag. But is trying to bounce back from the chemo treatment. Lou is definitely feeling better and was on the computer playing a card game when I showed up. Now you'd figure that in her condition, Terri would just want to rest and not really talk about much. Of course, you have to remember that this is my family we're talking about... no one has ever used the word “normal” and our name in the same sentence. True to form, Terri decides she wants to engage me in talking politics. Oh perfect... of all the things she could want to talk about... just perfect! She and I are opposites when it comes to most things political. But our debates, while very spirited, are usually respectful and cordial. And of course, how can I argue with a woman who is lying in bed from enduring a chemotherapy treatment? I'd look like a complete, heartless slug! Most of my family would tell you I'm a heartless slug anyways... but they'd say it out of sport and not out of spite...
I got the rare treat of spending time with the gal pal for a few days. She was in rare form if I do say so myself. I was so amazed... more on her in a moment. Her grandfather is not doing really well and they had to take him to the hospital today. But she was steadfast in having a good time with me and boy did we. We spent so much time together and I've got to tell ya... I've found THE GIRL... or should I say that the good Lord blessed me with her. Because she is amazing. She leaves me speechless because of who she is. The fact that she's crazy about me is an honor I don't take lightly. But her warmth, tenderness, and her gentle humor leaves me flabbergasted. I think you can tell by the pictures that we're pretty smitten with each other. DUHHHHHHH... :)

Time...

Hope everyone had a nice Easter. Me, I had to work, but I stopped over at Terri's and got something to eat before I went to my job. To say that Terri pulled out all of the stops is a gross understatement. She was not feeling the greatest, but she takes to cooking like I take to eating... very naturally thank you... She bought enough groceries to fill a small building or nuclear fallout shelter (take your pick) and it was all for Easter dinner. Not for the month, not for a week... but for one meal. Wholly cow! (for a minute, I thought she actually bought a whole one.) Let's put it this way, we couldn't eat at her dinner table because of all of the food choices that she put out... My whole family was there and they were having a ball... For a few hours, the whole thought of cancer took a backseat to just being a bunch of wacked-out, out of sorts, mentally disturbed, crazy people... y'know... FAMILY!!
Terri goes for chemo tomorrow and it's going to be a new type of chemo. So I'm hoping it works. Me, I'm taking a few days off and am going to go spend time with my gal pal... it's been a long time since we've gotten to spend any quality time together. So I will be M-I-A for the next several days. But for a good reason :) Yak atcha soon...

Re-orienting Myself to the Eastern Time Zone

Hi,
It's nice to be home again. I just spent the last week in Iowa which felt more like a year. There was not much to do outside of the hockey rink but eat and watch TV... no wonder they love their sports teams there. Geez, if all I had to do was watch paint dry, I'd go out and support about any sports team they had too... I'm not knocking the people of the Hawkeye State, it's just that there is not much of a nightlife in the city of Dubuque. I drove out to Iowa and parked my car at the hotel. The rink was literally across the street from the hotel, and I walked everywhere I went. I didn't start my car up for 4 days. There was absolutely NOTHING to do as a tourist. But of course, the players were pretty cool cause they wanted to go watch some of the other teams play so we did everything together as a team. We went to eat together, watch some of the other games together. And of course, prep for our games... we made it all the way to the semi-finals before bowing out. I was really disappointed but the guys were pretty good about it. I got to spend some time with the guys afterwards to see where they what they were going to do with their futures. A number of them are coming back, but a number of them are also moving on and going out into the real world. They're nervous, and scared and wanted this to last as long as possible. These kids will be fine. I'm sure they'll do wonderfully.
Nothing new to report on Terri and Lou. After last week, that's probably a good thing. Terri wanted to make sure I would be in town for Easter so that I would go over to her house for dinner. She sent me a text about it, and all it said was "come hungry"... typical Terri.
Anyway, a number of you dropped me a note and/or an e-mail offering your ear for support and concern. I've been gone for the last week and haven't had time to answer in a proper manner to offer my thanks for your prayers and best wishes. You guys are the best. It's going to be an interesting journey but my prayer is that Terri and Lou will feel the love of those who are praying for them and can face the future with faith and hope and yes, love...

Here I Go Again (apologies to David Coverdale)

I'm sitting here in Iowa as the playoffs start in a matter of hours... not caring one bit about hockey right now... Terri called me and I knew it was coming, but I still felt the sucker-punch to the gut. Her cancer had spread to her vertebrae. I just sat here in silence, wishing I could find the words to comfort, to love, to show compassion... but nothing came to mind. She told me they're going to try a different chemo and even though it only has a 30 percent chance of working, as Terri so eloquently put it: “30 is better than zero...” She told me she's not giving up (in between the sobs) and kept saying “Mickey, I want to live”. I sat on my hotel bed, just numb. I asked what I could do to help and she tearfully offered up “please pray for me, that I have the strength to go through this...” I tried to stay strong and reminded her that this is where we have to have faith. I completed the call with her telling her about my drive out here from Ohio to Iowa. That made her laugh lots and lots and I hung up with her feeling a little bit better. Me, I wanted to just go down to the bar and drown my sorrows big time. But I came to the computer and was chatting with the gal pal. I was feeling really down, and she knew it. She didn't have any answers, but she was there for me. She was there. That's why I didn't go down to the bar. Not too long ago, I wouldn't have even bothered turning the computer on... I would've just sat at the bar ordering a beer, drinking shots while I waited for my beer to arrive. Today, I knew it wasn't worth it and that it would've been the wrong choice. So I sat here, chatting with the gal pal and when we said goodnight, I flipped on the TV and heard a song that made me think of my sister who started raising me when she was sixteen. I lost it, and wanted to punch the wall out of feeling so helpless. I just sat there looking up and for the first time, instead of saying “God ya gotta heal her”, through tears of pain, I let go and surrendered, saying “Lord, your will be done.” and after a while, I felt the bitterness go away. I felt a little more peaceful and was able to sit here and pound out this entry. I'll be broadcasting hockey games online, for the next couple of days on www.toledosportsradio.com and I will not mention anything at all about my personal stuff... But know that I'll be thinking about God, Terri, the gal pal, and everything but hockey...

How Lame Can I Get? Here's How...

Sorry I haven't been around much. but I've been a busy little goof to say the least. We've had three snowstorms in less than 10 days... I love winter but I've had enough. It's okay when the kids are out sledding, but I don't like the prospects of sledding in my car. Terri had her PET Scan yesterday but won't know the results till later this week. I called her last night and she sounded completely wiped out and a little down. In a typical Terri move, instead of going on and on about herself, she wanted me to use a coupon she had for 50 cents per gallon off of a fuel fill-up because it expired soon. I did and boy am I glad I did. With all the running around that I did this week, it came in real handy.
Now, I finally got around to checking my emails... thanks to those of you that dropped me a line asking about the girls... very much appreciated... I also got one from an old friend of mine, that I absolutely regret opening. The reason? Because I have not stopped going to the website that he sent me the link to ever since I opened it.... Grrrrrrrr.... I was sent the link to a page that is cyber bubble wrap... I'm not kidding. Bubble wrap. I have always loved popping bubble wrap in person. Now I can and have been doing it online for the last couple of days... I even added it to my favorites list... How sad is that? I need help.... lol... if you go over to it, just use your mouse and point and click... that's all there is to it. I'm completely addicted to it... grrrrrrr.... the manic model version is exactly the same only instead of clicking on the mouse, you just run your cursor over it and it pops for you. When you're done and reload a fresh sheet there's a female voice that says in a hypnotic-like way, the phrase.... MUST HAVE MORE!!!

Pet Scan Vinaigrette

Lots going on around le chateaux du Mik.these days. I can only tread water and try to stay above sea level... Heard from Terri. Her numbers are out of wack again. Usually when that happens, that means the cancer has returned and has spread somewhere. She goes for a pet scan and chemo again on monday... Keep her in your prayers, okay? It's really beginning to wear on her. She is hurting right now and try as I might to keep my spirits up... it's disheartening to know that she is trying so hard and is getting her butt kicked. I'm going to see her and Lou tomorrow and have dinner. I hate this feeling of helplessness. And she's the one going through it...not me!
In more upbeat stuff, I went to a sports memorabilia auction/ dinner that benefitted the Make-a-Wish foundation... one of my favorite charities. They had all kinds of great items for both silent and live auction. Not only sports stuff, but non-sports stuff as well. Where else can you find an old vintage document that is certified authentic with the signature of Abraham Lincoln on it? I was bidding on the Notre Dame stuff that they had. The dinner menu was really good: Sauteed Chicken Napolitano layered with asiago cheese, roasted wild mushrooms, spinach, garlic and sundried tomatoes with tomato & prosciutto sauce... served with crisp risotto cake, asparagus spears and graufrette carrots. Dessert was a 7 layer raspberry cake with raspberry sauce. It all was pretty fancy except that it was all in portions that wouldn't fill up a 10 year old... the graufrette carrots? there were two on the plate... TWO. Not that I'm some kind of carrot fan (that would be freaky), but you get my meaning. The food was good, but it wasn't like a home cooked meal where you could fill your tummy up and feel satisfied. I left the event and had to get something on the way home to eat... maybe not as healthy... but a dang site more filling!

Things As I See Them...

Well, I guess it has been a while since I've posted an entry so I suppose it only right that I do say hello and say thanks for stopping by. The latest on the girls is that the last I checked up on them, they seemed to be hanging in there okay. Lou has been getting rid of some fluid and she is getting a wee-bit more mobile and that is a huge need for her to be able to get around and rely less on Terri. Terri is hanging in there with the chemotherapy. It's been kicking her butt, however, she still is hanging in there and battling bravely. I can't complain one iota when I think about them. There is no way I can gripe about life when I take a moment to see what I'm really blessed with. The Good Lord has blessed me with some good and decent family members (for the most part...lol) who care about me. I have a girlfriend who leaves me dumbfounded when I think about her. For those who asked, don't worry... I didn't do any of the things that are listed on my previous post. I'm still in her good graces and am grateful to be so. I can't ever begin to thank God for blessing me with her. He put her in my life to save me... I truly believe this. I know that those of you that read this journal/blog have said some very nice things about me and I thank you for it. I'm honored that you stop by and say hello to me. But I am the one who has to live with the person that is me... the REAL ME in my REAL life. And I am convinced that God put my gal pal into my life to save me... save me from myself. Because while I try to be a better person and try to be good to others... it didn't used to be that way. I was not always a very decent person. I believe the professional, technical term to describe me was “SCUMBAG”. I can't put it any other way. But that was then, this is now. I am now someone who believes in something much better and greater than myself... I survived to talk about it. And I do it without shame.

Valentine's Day

What NOT To Give Her For Valentines Day

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
2. Any food item with the words "high fiber" on the label.
3. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone or Jim Carrey.
4. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a mortuary's.
5. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.
6. A gift certificate.
7. Cash.
8. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over... even if you didn't.
9. An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"

Monday Musings

Hi everybody...
Had a lonnnnnnng weekend. Not much in the way of sleep. I feel like my knuckles are dragging on the ground, but other than that, I'm haning in there. The weekend was a pretty good one for all intents and purposes. After work on Saturday, I was at Wal-mart (my favorite store outside of Steve & Barry's) and my sister calls me to tell me her toilet is acting up again. I felt a sudden desire to go hide. But I picked up a repair kit on the spot and told them I'd stop over on Sunday to take a look at it. I went to church and got a late breakfast (don't ask me why, but for some reason, chinese food seemed like a good idea for breakfast)... I found a chinese buffet place that opened early so I went and loaded up... Hey, it was all you can eat for five dollars and 43 cents.. My stomach was filled for most of the day. Went over to Terri's and she tells me that my nephew was able to fix the toilet. I was like the happiest man on planet earth. I saw her and Lou who has lost lots of fluid weight. I guess that can happen when you STOP taking Flowmax... She looks more like her old self but still has some work to do. Terri had chemo this morning (again) and will be wiped out for the next couple of days so me and my other sister will take turns going over and help with doing little things like emptying Lou's portable potty etc... and checking on Terri to make sure she's still palpable... About the only downside to the weekend was that I didn't get to spend a ton of time with the gal pal... but she knew I had a busy weekend and she still loves me so I am a happy guy... So after the Cherokee hockey game (we won: woo-hoo) I made it home eventually to catch some of the Superbowl...usually it's something that bores me... but not this game. WOW... I was happy for Eli Manning. He can finally step out of the shadow of his more famous big brother Peyton. But we all know the main reason for watching the game... the commercials!! I liked a few of them... there were some really bizarre ones too. But for me the hands down winner was the Budweiser ad with the dalmation training the clydesdale horse with the theme of 'Rocky' playing... that was pretty funny. If you saw the game, let me know which commercial did it for you... there were plenty to choose from...

Multi-Tasking... Mik Style...

Work today stunk... it was lousy. Such is life for a Monday. We all have blah days and today was my turn. Just a busy day, that's all. The fun began when I was done with work for the day. My goal was to go home and kick back and then spend some time chatting up my gal pal... I left work at six and wanted to get home and after getting some dinner, chat with my best girl sometime around eight. But of course, between point A and point B, there was just a few things to be done... namely:
Getting a text message from Terri telling me that Lou is having a very tough time moving around. Lou can't really do much because she put on so much fluid weight, that it's hard for her to do much of anything. That is NOT Lou... anyway, I went to a few places and picked up some things to help Lou including a patient transfer board. Plus a couple things to help Terri. Terri has it the hardest because if Lou falters, it's Terri that's the only one there to try and help... that's what is so difficult. But Lou goes to see the doctor on Friday and I hope she'll give them a piece of her mind about not being more aggressive on removing the fluid. She may end up on dialysis because of how non-aggressive they've been with her... grrrrr.... anyway, Lou looked a little better when I saw her. She was happy when I showed up. Terri then asked if I could take a quick peek at her toilet because it was running. She had this look of defeat. I didn't want to, but I went to look at the toilet and saw it was something very very simple. So I fixed it, and got the biggest hug of gratitude from Terri... that was nice. She figured she'd strike while the iron was hot and was telling me that her cell phone charger was not working... So, we got that taken care of and I just wanted to go home and eat like a moose... So I went to go get something to eat (Chinese take-out), and knew it would take about ten minutes or so for the food to be ready... I looked a couple of doors down from the Chinese restaurant and there was a hair care place that was running a special... haircuts for five bucks. I placed my order for the food (boneless almond chicken...mmmm) and said I'd be right back and walked over to the hair care place. There was no waiting at all, so I signed in, sat down, and got my hair cut nice and short. I paid my five bucks (tipping the lady of course), walked back over to pick up my dinner, and drove home. I chowed down on dinner when I got there and by the time I finished drinking my diet peach iced tea, it was eight o'clock. Talked to the gal pal for a couple of hours... my day went from crappy to happy...

For College Football Fans... A Simple Observation...

The Previous Sign To Signify Choking:

The NEW Sign To Signify Choking:

Rockin' At The Creek...

Hi folks,
Was perusing through you tube and found some highlights from my church and thought I'd throw them on here. The first one is from Easter and highlights some of the baptisms we had at the church and is set to the song "I Am Free" from Newsboys. The other is from our Christmas service this year. It's the Audio Adrenaline version of "Little Drummer Boy" which rocks hard as it is... but the band at church put their own spin on it to make it rock even harder... Safe to say, my church is not my parents church by any means at all. But it's not trying to be. It is geared toward unchurched and spiritually restless people. That's how my heart was reached. I didn't want to have a relationship with God or be a Christ-follower. Well, I guess God had other ideas... for which I'm eternally grateful... y'all have a great day, okay?

Perspective...

Well, just wanted to say hey and hope you all have a great weekend... Just taking a little time to think about the gal pal and give thanks that she's crazy about me... These pics were from Christmas. It's funny, they say that God works in mysterious ways. I'm living proof of that. In the past, I used to hate having my picture taken. Didn't want anything to do with them. My girlfriends of the past very seldom got me to take any kind of photos. I hated to look at myself. I didn't mind looking at anyone else, but I grew up as a guy suffering from depression and self loathing. Even after getting my poop in a group and turning my life around... It didn't matter... I didn't like taking them. More often than not, I wouldn't. Not till now. Now I am a big goof ball who wants to take pictures with my gal pal. It is so funny how God works. All those years with only a few pictures. And now, every time I go see the gal pal, I AM THE ONE who tells her to break out the camera to get some pics of us... Anyone who knows me, knows that I am anything BUT vain... I still struggle with looking in the mirror when I get ready for work every morning. But I don't hate myself anymore. I know and believe that God doesn't make junk. So I choose to break out of my comfort zone and do things like take pictures to document how happy I've become. And I write about it to serve as a reminder that no matter how rough life can get, it will only suck some of the time and it's up to me to decide how I'm going to face up to those adversities... and when to let go of them because those faces in the pictures prove beyond a reasonable doubt that God does live and that life was meant to be lived. And not to be taken for granted... but to be treasured and appreciated. Because no matter how bad I think I have it, someone has it worse... much worse. So I try to keep a grateful heart... and to enjoy life as it comes... and with faith in God and the love of my gal pal, I'm enjoying it so much more than I ever thought humanly possible...

Lookin' Back, Lookin' Ahead...

Howdy folks,
Well it's been a while since I've written. That's because my schedule has been pretty silly and insane... busy as all get out. But I wanted to drop a line to you all to wish you a happy and safe and prosperous 2008... For me, 2007 had a lot of low points. Friends that had passed away... some expected, some not. My sisters have been battling hard for their health and it hasn't gone as well as they had hoped. Terri is facing chemo and radiation indefinitely. Lou went back to the hospital and the nursing home for a the last month or so after only two weeks out of rehab. But again, she is hoping to be released from the nursing home this Saturday... I had some problems with the TV sports station that I worked for... it would've been easy to get mad and rip on people, but that wouldn't have served any good purpose. I had to believe that good would come from it... and it has... I'm working with a friend of mine on a sports website called www.toledosportsradio.com that is still in it's infant stages. But we're doing a weekly sports show and plenty of high school basketball games online. Some audio... some audio and video... but it's been a great amount of fun and we're starting to make strides in the Toledo area... Not looking to become stars... just want to make a few bucks and have some fun. Meanwhile, the biggest positive to come out of 2007 was the relationship with my better half... my gal pal... She is so humble and easy going. She is so gentle and understanding with me. She let's me be myself. And I let her be herself... and we both thrive in that enviornment and have prospered tremendously as a result. God gets all the credit and glory as I have been blessed by her. She is simply amazing. I could try to put words together to describe her and the effect she has had on my life. But the words would never do her justice. She doesn't seek to be noticed or draw any attention to herself. She just conducts herself as a wonderful and awesome Christian woman who has changed my life for the (much) better. I praise God every day for her... My biggest hope for 2008 is that our love continues to grow like it has and that I continue to grow in my faith and not just talk about it. But rather, live my faith... to be a better Christian and to help others in my community and my gal pal's community as well... I look forward to 2008 with a sense of optimism and hope... I also look forward to keeping in touch with all of you... thanks for being a friend to me, even if I didn't always hold up my end of the bargain. I hope that I will improve on that as we dip our tootsies deeper into the sea of 2008...

Gal Pal Time...

I was able to steal away a couple of days and got to spend it with the gal pal... She absolutely leaves me stunned with who she is. She has absolutely no idea how awesome she is... it doesn't occur to her that she impacts people and has changed lives more than she knows... She is by far, the greatest gift that the Good Lord has ever blessed me with... I still stymie her on occasion because she feels as equally blessed by having me in her life. I always tell her though that I had to come a lot further to give my heart to her. She's a born and raised good and decent Christian woman. Involved in church and is spiritually strong in her faith. Me, I was an absolute clown for the longest time and believed in God, but didn't want much to do with Him. So I didn't care about much of anything spiritual. It wasn't till I lost some close relatives and friends that I began to search for answers. I didn't like what I was finding. But I had to realize that I needed something more grounded in faith. I decided to reach out and believe in something I didn't physically see. It can get scary sometimes, but it also can be so peaceful and amazing... And my gal pal is someone I lean on considerably. She helps keep me grounded and firm in what I truly believe. At one time, I didn't want to be with any woman ever again. Now, I sit here wondering what my life would be like without her... I don't think about that much but instead think about the future... something I never thought about before...

Brilliance On Ice... and Snow !

Hey all... I always said that I would write for better or worse about the little nuggets that happen in my life... well, I guess that I should plow forward with the silly event that happened to me when I got home in the middle of the night from Iowa. It was something that could only happen to me. So, when last we left our hapless hero, I had just survived a spinout and had to have my car yanked out of a ditch of mud and frustration was ruling supreme. I went to Davenport knowing full well that there was going to be a nasty storm that was going to hit throughout the midwest and our team bus was going to ride right in the middle of it. No big deal, I've been through storms before... not a problem. Being midwesterners, we're used to this stuff. So I planned to scrape off the ice and snow and let the car warm up with the defroster going full tilt. So we get home, I go to my car, and see that it's coated with over an inch (or a few centimeters) of ice and ridiculous amounts of snow. So I go and clear the key hole for my trunk and manage to get it open and put my luggage in... I went and tried to unlock and open my door. No dice. I chiseled and scraped till I lost feeling in my hands, face and feet... Still, no go... I tried for over a half an hour to get into my own car with no success... After applying the stuff that unfreezes locks and still not being able to get in my car, I had all these thoughts going through my head as I was trying to turn the key in the lock to the right... more time passed as I was beyond frustrated. I was thinking about how I had to work in just a few short hours and how was I going to get there. The weather is very cold so when was the stinking lock ever going to thaw... just all kinds of questions as I could feel my heartburn start to kick in... until one of the other players asks “are you sure you're turning the key in the right direction?” I'm looking at this kid like he's on drugs... “yeah I'm turning it in the...” and then I turn it in the opposite direction and BAM... the *&*^%%$$ DOOR OPENS... over an hour of freezing my ya-ya's off in below zero temps with 25 mph winds... and I was turning the key the WRONG WAY!!! I am such a dork! The players that were still there scraping the ice off of their own cars (about 8 of them) were laughing hysterically and making all kinds of jokes at my expense... to be honest, I didn't mind that. I started to laugh myself after a little while... I learned not to take myself so serious... I love these guys... they are a riot! When I got home, I just plopped on the couch and fell immediately asleep for what amounted to a nap before work... But I know that through my, uh, sharp brainiac skills, I gave them a memory they won't soon forget... I suppose it could've been worse...

Sliding In A Winter Wonderland...

Greetings from Davenport, Iowa...
NO I'm not out here checking out the canidates running for president. Thank God, I couldn't handle it... I'm here because we have hockey games going on. I had a fun experience last weekend. I was on my way home from a Cherokee hockey game and we were in the middle of a beauty of an ice storm. I was doing fine all the way home until I got off the exit to head to the house. I wasn't speeding but I still felt the car hit a patch of ice and start to slide sideways and I ended up flying into a ditch. I was really furious but kept my cool (at least on the outside)... I called a tow truck and it cost me a small fortune to get my car pulled out of there. I was so frustrated... I was only 20 seconds from home... 20 freakin' seconds. But at least there was no damage to the car. I was stuck in the ice and the mud... grrrrrrrrr.... and now this weekend we're going to head home from Iowa and drive right into the middle of a raging snow storm... yippeee... I'm not mad... BUT... I'd sure like a quiet relaxing week... HA!

Grateful (I'm Not) Dead...

Ahhh, the joy of breathing...
I feel a whole lot better after a week of being in bed and sick as a dog... Lou is doing better as she was hospitalized with a kidney infection, dehydration, and a urinary tract infection. Her blood pressure was also through the roof. Anyway, I finally got everything I needed to finish rebuilding Terri's computer (namely so I can get mine back...heh-heh). It turned into a battle of wills as instead of just dropping a new hard drive and processor and some memory in it.... I ended up also getting a new motherboard, video card, power supply and sink fan and tower for it... grrrrrrr... I don't mind, but since I'm not rolling in cash, it did make it a challenge. But I got it all done and this weekend we'll get the rest of the job done of putting it all together. I think this is going to be her birthday/ Christmas gift. Believe me, it was a pain. But I'm glad that we're over the hump... Now that I'm up and around (finally), I went last night and did a little Christmas shopping. Spent a lot of money... more than I thought I would, but didn't really have a ton to show for it. But you know what? After seeing what that moron did in Omaha, gunning down those 8 people and then taking the gutless coward's way out and turning the gun on himself, I decided to take a 'so what' attitude in regards to how much money I spent. Life is so freakin' fragile. Just when I complain and moan about all the things I have to deal with in life, I can honestly say that I bet there isn't a family member of those 8 people that wouldn't give anything to have their loved ones back to celebrate Christmas with... to say 'I love you' one more time... One more hug, one more kiss... one more smile... I guess like always, it comes down to a matter of perspective. Instead of fretting over the little things this Christmas, I'm choosing to show some grattitude for being alive. No matter how much I struggle, I am grateful to wake up every morning... and to spend time with those I care about... including my friends right here... Talk to y'all soon...
Mik

Feeling Crappy, But Still Happy... Or Is That Too Sappy?

Hey y'all,
I'm a little under the weather as I crank out this entry... okay, who's kidding who here? I feel like absolute CRAPOLA!!! But I digress... I've been fighting the flu, cold, fever, congestion... all of those little pearls of goodness that you go through when you get sick. Me, I'm not nauseous, but the rest of it I have in abundance. And here's the worst part of it... I called into work for today because I couldn't muster up the energy to go. But at about ten in the morning I get a phone call from Lou's visiting nurse telling me that she needs to go to the emergency room. She was very dehydrated, her blood sugar was high and her blood pressure was through the roof and she was tiger-chunking (aka vomiting) to beat the band. Terri was in bed because of the wonderful ravages of chemotherapy. And the only hospital that the ambulance would take Lou to, is not covered under Lou's insurance. So, either I get up and go take her in, or she's stuck in a rut of misery... Believe me, I thought about it... but I sucked it up and threw some clothes on and headed out in the delightfully balmy 30F (-2C) temps to go rescue Lou and take her to the ER at the hospital she needed to go to across town. My head felt like a stinkin' bowling ball and my head was/is spinning around... of course with Lou being a big girl with only one leg, no one can move her around when she's like this. So I ended up having to move her into her wheelchair from my car, and from the wheelchair to the hospital bed when she got into the ER... I honestly don't mind, and would probably not even mention it if I were feeling better. But I just got home and I'm going to curl back up on the sofa and sleep and rest and peek occasionally on my laptop to see how you all are doing... I'll be fine. I'm in a decent mood even though my body feels like ten pounds of poop in a five pound bag... I just have to take my meds and let this puppy just run its course... Hang in there people...and stay warm... Unless you live in florida in which case I hope you freeze... hahaha... just kidding :)

Post Turkey Musings (sneeze free)

Well, I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving. I ate pretty good for a change... dare I say it... ALMOST healthy...ha!... I had a pretty good weekend. Found a brand new 10 cup coffee maker at the for four bucks... It was such a great deal I had to buy it... and I don't even drink coffee! Found some other things too but I have to keep those to myself because I know that some people (hint: gal pal) read this space so I shall keep things mum... :) Anyhow, my weekend was fun because for a change, my sports teams won... woo-hoo... that's always nice. My favorite thing to do this weekend was watching the Grey Cup football game. I have a little to-do every year for it and it was fun. For those who don't know what that is... the Grey Cup is the equivalent of the Superbowl in Canadian Football... I know the question to be ask is: "Mik, why do you watch Canadian Football?" Big answer: I don't know... I just do. Larger field, only 3 downs instead of 4... I dunno... but I just do. I still love college and pro here in our country too, but I've liked the canuck version since I was a little kid back in the days when dinosaurs walked the earth... my favorite team won so I'm happy...
Had a strange experience on Saturday night. I had to broadcast a basketball game online down in Fremont. No big deal, But as the game was ending, I could feel myself coming down with something. I was feeling very congested and sneezing almost uncontrollably. I wasn't driving so I closed my eyes and tried to sleep some on the way back home. No such luck. I finally got home after what seemed like an eternity and sat in front of my TV set to watch the end of the Missouri-Kansas game when I popped a throat lozenge in my mouth. Not a cough drop nor cough syrup, but just a lozenge that numbs up your throat when it's sore. I fell asleep about ten minutes after I was done with the lozenge and woke up the next morning with no congestion, no sneezing, no cough, nothing... It felt almost surreal... I had put in a 20 hour day on Saturday so part of it is due to exhaustion. But when did a throat lozenge cure an oncoming cold??? Must've been Divine Intervention... mind you, I'm not complaining... :)

Giving Thanks = Thanks Giving

Hey y'all,
Just wanted to take a moment here on Thanksgiving to give thanks for life, family, and friends. First, I thank God for His Blessing me with the gift of life. My life may not be a bowl of cherries or the life of riley, but I've seen too many instances where people have lost loved ones way too soon and don't have a second chance to patch things up or make changes in their lives to turn things around. We can't change our past, but we can do something about the future. Which is why we live in the gift of the 'present'... Always remember folks, it's not how you start in life, it's how you finish. So to God, I say thanks for loving your kids here... even when we color outside the lines.
I give thanks for my family. This hasn't always been easy. I grew up a self serving selfish punk. It was always all about me. I didn't want to be around my family because I was hell bent on doing my own thing. As I've gotten older and absorbed some of the bumpier side of life, I've come to realize that while you can't pick your family, it's never too late to make things right. I made things right with my father in the final 5 years of his life. That is a gift I treasure. There are others that I wasn't so fortunate. But I can't change the past so I live in the now. I can't impact the lives of people that are gone from my life. But I can impact the lives of people that are in my life right now. My sisters, my nephews, have become very important to me. Watching Lou and Terri struggle with their health has really made me realize how strong they are and that they impact lives a whole lot more than I ever could... I talk alot about my faith... They LIVE their faith. Actions, not words, are what gets things done. But I'm growing and learning to appreciate them more than I did in the past.
Finally, the gal pal. She has taught me more about life and what it is to overcome obstacles and she does it with such beauty and grace. She has absolutely no clue as to how amazing she really is. There are times where I wonder how she deals with things like not being able to walk. Things that I take for granted everyday. It doesn't even register with her that she has a "disability"... She prefers to think about the abilities she does have. She touches lives and continues to live each and every day to the fullest. I am in complete awe of her. It blows me away that she is as crazy about me as I am her. Thankful? Are you kidding me? ABSO FREAKIN' LUTELY... Grateful to God is more like it. She has rocked my world and I'm a better man for it...
One more thing... I thank God for all of you... that's right... YOU. You guys have been a true blessing to me. I know some might say that you guys are out in cyberspace and not part of my 'real life'... well I say that is a pile of buffalo bagels... when I've been down in the dumps, discouraged, frustrated... angry and po'd at the world, you've been there offering prayers, words of encouragement, practical advice. I am honored that you guys would come hang out at my little outpost and become my friends. Thank you seems inadequate but that is what I have to offer... THANK YOU... and may you all find something to be thankful for... even when things aren't going perfect. I know tomorrow starts the insanity of the Christmas shopping season... I'll be out there too. I'll do a little online shopping but I like going out there and watching people go all maniacal in the stores. Hey, if you've got a funny or cool story about your turkey day or black friday shopping experience, feel free to leave it here. I want to hear from you guys... In the mean time, my gratitude, and best wishes for a blessed thanksgiving go out to all of you and your loved ones... God Bless You...
Mik

A Pretty Good Day

Today is one of the better days going on in Mik-dom... First of all, Lou gets to come home to her house for the first time in over four months! She worked her butt off to rehab to the point that they said she could be discharged. Her and Terri are going to make a go of it. Terri has a couple more weeks of work and then she's done. She's still not that happy about it, but is going to do what she can to keep going... Lou had yet to see the new ramp that was built for her. There are lots of reasons to be thankful as we head towards the Thanksgiving holiday... This point was driven home BIG TIME at church on Sunday. It wasn't this big religious experience or anything. But we had a visitor in the form of Patrick Henry Hughes. Patrick and his dad (Patrick John) were the featured speakers for services this past weekend. Patrick Henry's story was on ESPN and he's done speeches all over the country I guess. PH was born without eyes and can't walk and his arms and legs can't really straighten out. But he developed an ability in music from the age of 9 months and by age of two could play his kiddie tunes. He now is a freshman in the U of Louisville marching band. His father (PJ) pushes PH's wheelchair in the different formations while PH plays the trumphet. The irony of it: PH is not a music major in college. He's a spanish major. What a hoot. But he and his dad were at my church and boy I felt like I had no reason to feel bad about anything... these two were a huge inspiration. I hope that I can improve and be a better person and no matter how bad things can get, that I can be grateful in all circumstances... If you want to check out the service, they have it archived on Cedar Creek's website. Just click on the the link on the right side of this page and click on "watch messages" on their home page. Now please note, the video that will pop up is from 11/11/07 and Ben is sitting in a comfy chair at Starbucks. But if you look to the bottom of the video it has a link also that reads 11/18/07 and if you double click on that, you can watch Patrick's story... it's really awesome... anyway, I thought I'd say hello and wish you all a great day. By the way, I had a blast on friday on the radio show. Todd said he wants me to come back and fill in again sometime... I have a heart today of gratitude... I pray I can keep that spirit within me...

I Heard It On The Radio...

Hey folks,
Just wanted to touch base and say howdy. Terri's birthday was this past Sunday so I was/am thankful for another year of life. She was told by her doc that she has to go on disability. She is really bummed about that. She's tried putting on a brave face, but it really has got her down. The doc told her that the tumors haven't shrunk any, but they haven't grown either. So it's a minor win. At this point, we'll take it. She cheers up when she wants to know how me and my gal pal are doing. She and Lou both eat it up when they hear and see their little brother squirm trying to not talk about my relationship. Great as it is, I'm just not used to talking about me. That has always been a tough thing for me. But it lights them up when they hear that my gal pal keeps me in line. They just howl and have big crap eating grins when they see me squirm. It cheers them up. Lou is doing great in her rehab and the prosthetic leg... she'll be getting ready to think about home before too long.
Nothing new with me. I'm going to co-host with my buddy Todd on a morning radio show on our local Christian rock station this friday morning. It should be weird. But I'm looking forward to it. I don't know what all we'll talk about, but I'll try and be ready for just about anything. Plus, it's a music intensive show so I won't have to chat THAT much. But it should be fun. The station "Christian Hit Radio- Yes FM" streams their station online also so if any of you guys are bored and want to hear me and Todd talk a little about God, sports, music and whatever else we'll be yakking about, just go to Yes FM's website and click on the listen live link. They stream 24/7 so you can go check it out anytime to see what kind of music can be heard. Mostly geared towards our youth, it's more hard rocking than say, K-LOVE... but it remains Christ centered... Todd's normal radio partner Laura is on maternity leave, so he's had different substitute co-hosts. We're on this friday morning (nov 16) from 6-9am Eastern Time... I hope not to screw up too much... but I'm going to just have fun and be a goof... I'm good at that y'know...lol...

Kiss and Tell... ME? Nah...

Got to spend some time with the gal pal this past weekend. I don't get to spend a lot of time with her so when I do get to be with her, I absolutely enjoy it. She is wonderful. A whole lot more than a guy like me deserves... But I am simply the happiest guy on the planet when we're together...

Not A Whole Lotta Love... BUT(T)!!

Not much new to update as I went to see Lou tonight but she was sound asleep when I got there. So I let her rest and didn't bother her and I left. Terri is still plugging along as best she can so no news there. I still am insanely in love with my gal pal. She really inspires me to no end... But you guys all know this already. But I wanted to update you on what's happening. Since there's nothing new for the moment, I'll share with you a very brief phone call I got this afternoon at work and did everything I could not to laugh. It about did me in, but I kept my composure...

Me: "Can I help you"

Female Caller: "yeah, I wanna know if you can help me find somebody"

Me: "Who are you looking for?"

Female Caller: "I want, you know, I want you to hook me up with a doctor who can give me an organic shot with a needle to, you know, when you want your behind to get bigger"

Me: (thinking all she needs is Dunkin Donuts) "I tell ya what, let me send you over to physician referral."

Me: "I need HELLLLP!"

HIS Faith Is Kept...

After nearly 2 months of hospitalization not knowing what was wrong...followed by more than 2 months in rehab due to the amputation of her leg. My sister Lou finally... FINALLY got to where she was able to get up and walk... yes WALK without the rails on each side of her... on her first attempt. She shocked the therapists with her ability to get up and about... on the very first try. Typical Lou. They wanted her to take a few steps so they could measure the prosthetic leg and make adjustments to it before having her get the final version of it. They figured she'd take a few steps with the aid of the rails. She kept walking back and forth up and down the hallway. Her first time walking since the beginning of June. When she finally sat down from walking, she just smiled and cried and cried. She was overwhelmed with emotion and couldn't believe how far she's come since summer. As much as I was feeling blah the other day about myself and my faith... Well this is truly a time to feel joyous and grateful to God... He really is good. He really is...

Keeping the Faith... 'Alone' from Barlow Girl

Needed to remind myself today that God is always there even when I don't always feel Him near or when I need Him to minister to me and it seems like there's no answer in sight. Sometimes He is paving the way down the road and I don't always see that... But no matter how hard life can be sometimes, I've got to remain faithful...

Letting Go Of My Ego...

Hope you're doing alright,
Me, I'm doing so much better than I was last week. My attitude is good... My sister Terri called me and told me her computer wasn't working and wanted me to go check it out. The hard drive is toast. I don't know a tremendous amount about computer repair. Just a little...I'm not much of a computer geek. But my co-hort Mike is a bit of a geek. So while Terri is ticked about her computer, I have a little surprise for her. Her birthday is in 3 weeks. She is frustrated... but I'm going to take her computer and have not only a new hard drive installed, but change the motherboard, processor, and memory on it too. Her Dell is about 4 years old and is a bare bones model. Well, when I get done with her computer, it's going to be a very souped up high caliber system...But I'll spring that on her later...hahahaha....
My day in a nutshell: I've got a girlfriend whom I love with wreckless abandon. I told her the following true story and she had a big laugh... If you ever thought I had an ego, well, this should take care of that... So, I'm walking down the hallway at work. A couple of attractive young ladies make eye contact and look me up and down and are smiling. I just smile and keep on walking towards the restroom. Before I go and do my business, I go look in the mirror, wondering 'why would they be looking at me?' I check to make sure my hair is not messed up. I'm looking over everything when suddenly I looked and said 'oh perfect Mik... what a ding-dong'... The reason? Simple. My ZIPPER was down and my shorts were showing... I could do nothing but laugh out loud and not take myself so seriously... I zipped up when I left the water closet... So when I went back out into the hallway, I sheepishly went to the cafeteria, bought an apple, and went into the corner and sat away from everyone... I don't think anyone will ever use my name and the word 'ego' in the same sentence...

Mental Notes Noted

Hey,
Y'know, sometimes it can seem weird to just go on autopilot when enduring things that don't always go your way. I've really had that presented to me this week. I had to think about some things and decide whether or not I was going to remain in a good mood despite not always having things go my way. It wasn't easy, but I thought about all the times that I talked about my faith. Well, it was put up or shut up for me this week and I had to decide if I really had a strong faith. I stewed for a little bit, but after talking with the gal pal, decided that when thinking about my family and the things they're going through, that my so called difficulties weren't even real problems. So that brought me out of a lousy mood in a hurry. I'm feeling pretty okay at the moment. Not euphoric, mind you... but pretty okay. And then just when I think about my smallness and want to have a pity party, I experience a moment like this:
"Hi, can I help you?"
caller: "uh, yeah. I have a question"
"Okay, what's the question"
caller: "How much do they pay the volunteers that work there?"
(long pause for stunned silence) "Just when I thought I was losing it... thank you for reaffirming my belief in the public."

Flint's Tones

Howdy.
Well it's Sunday and I'm in Flint, Michigan with the hockey club and we're struggling right now. In the grand scheme of things, I can honestly say 'big deal', but I love the game and the team, as it takes my mind off of things going on. Granted, things aren't too bad currently. But as with all things Mik, everything is always subject to change without notice... lol... Terri is still putting up a very brave front. She is trying to live despite the diagnosis to the contrary... she continues to keep herself busy with lots of things and still makes it over to spend time with Lou in rehab. I went by Terri's house yesterday before I left for Flint and she wasn't home, but out in front there were a couple of guys who were building a ramp for when Lou gets to come home. It looks beautiful. I guess the couple of guys were from the school that Lou used to work at and wanted to help somehow and figured that this would be the best way that they could. Can't wait till Lou sees it.
I'm going to try this week to start saying hello and leaving messages on your journals/blogs. I have been swamped and haven't had the time to leave too many messages, but please don't think for one minute that I don't care or don't at least read what's going on... I've been deliquent in my duties of keeping up to date with everyone, but I going to try when possible to leave a comment... thanks again y'all for being so understanding... Meanwhile, I've spent any free moments I've had with the gal pal and my life is so much more enriched for it. When times are tough, she's there to keep me from thinking about what's wrong and encourages me to look at what is good and right. She does all this from a wheelchair. Not that the wheelchair deserves any publicity but it just simply amazes me that she impacts lives every single day just by being herself. She has made a HUGE difference in my life. I don't deserve her, but I'm grateful to the Good Lord that she's crazy about me. She has changed my life in a way that I never thought possible. And from a male pig perspective, she's a great kisser too!!! Just thought I'd throw that in for my own benefit... Take care and I'll talk to y'all soon... Love you guys lots,
Mik

Wrong Number Wishing....

Greetings from the Glass City,
I know my entries have not been as frequent as they have been, but I appreciate your understanding. It's been a zoo as of late with lots going on but most of it could be worse. I'm feeling okay right now. My sugar has been staying where it needs to so I am very blessed to know that my meds are working. Today was a nutty day at work when I got a call from a guy who was calling the wrong hospital and wanted me to do something about the service he got at another hospital. He talked to the president of the other hospital and said he wasn't satisfied with the response he got and said it was "not in a timely manner to my satisfaction"... so he called the president of the other hospital "a joke" and wanted me to do something about it... I told him he needed to contact the other hospital and talk to their administrative reps or a patient advocate etc... and the guy didn't want to. I tried four times to explain to him that we don't have anything to do with the other hospital and tried to re-direct him. But he wouldn't listen. Finally I said "is there anything else that I can do for you?" to which he responded "you aren't helping me with what I want right now"... I wanted to pound my head against the wall. I repeated my earlier comments to him and he finally said "I wish you all the pain and suffering that I've been through"... and then he hangs up. What a dreamy sweetheart that guy was. I wanted to say something nasty, but my christianity had to go and come to the fore... so I wished him a good day and that was that... arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! There, but for the grace of God, go I...

Sweet n Low... but still lovin' it...

Just wanted to touch base and say hello... still trying to get used to life with a glucometer. I hate it. But I know what has to be done. I am feeling so much better now that I'm getting adjusted to my meds and my diet is better (but I'm still royally ticked off about having to give up my lifeline...bread and potatoes)... went and saw Terri today. To my complete amazement, she is STILL teaching. She went from chemo to the classroom. Her doc wants her to go on disability because of her prognosis. She's considering it, but her heart still believes she has things to do in this world and wants to teach still. I mentioned if she goes on disability, she can volunteer to teach and tutor etc... she's still thinking about it... Her skin is blistering all over and it's getting more difficult for her to swallow food, but she cuts everything in small pieces so she can eat. She is still driving to work everyday and has become my hero... here on earth anyway.
Some sad news... a couple of entries ago I wrote about partying at hospice and playing poker with my friend Donnie. Well, Donnie passed away and Thursday was his funeral. I went and paid my respects and saw some old friends that I haven't seen in a long time and we had a few laughs over some old times with Donnie. His son and daughter were there and were doing pretty good. They were all prepaed for this. Donnie is now reunited with his true love... his wife. He's not suffering anymore and I wish him peace and joy in Heaven. When I found out he passed, I smiled. I remember how even though he was 71, he was very young for his age and lived life to the fullest. He golfed up until 5 weeks before his death. He really enjoyed the outdoors... I'll really miss him. But I remember him with fondness... not sadness...
On a happier note... I talked with Lou on Thursday also. She is back to her old, happy, cantankerous self :) I am pleased as punch. She is still working on learning how to walk again. She'll be in rehab for quite a while yet, but she's in a better frame of mind and is working everyday in PT to get better and stronger. Her attitude is very positive. She still does little tricks to do things like have each of us bring her food from outside... Typical Lou... And on an even more positive note... the Gal Pal... I don't know where I'd be without her. She has been a rock for me. I thank God everyday for her. She has been the one I lean on to share my joy, hope, pain, frustration.... you name it... To say I love this woman doesn't do her any justice... she is beyond amazing... I am in awe of her. And it's because God blessed me with her love that my attitude remains positive, upbeat, and my faith remains entact... that's what I have to cling to right now...

I'm Sweeter Than I Thought...

Well, I've been told I'm a nice guy and have been told how sweet I have been for whatever reason... Little did I know I'd take it a few steps further... oh yeah, leave it to me. I was feeling like total crap. Like I was hungover or something... problem is that I haven't had a drink in forever. So I call my best friend aka my doc and he has me stop in the office and after checking me over decides to run a few lab tests on me. He puts the results only like he can... "Mik you have gone from nothing to being the worst diabetic in my practice" Huh?? Diabetes?? Crap... that's the last thing I need. So I'm trying to adjust to doing some things that I'd rather not be doing... namely, learning how to eat food that's sugar free and healthy for me... I HATE IT... My lifestyle has always been that of a road dog... living out of motel rooms on the weekends eating motel food and fast food at the stops on the road during the fall/winter/spring... now I have to monitor everything including my blood pressure... Boy does this tick me off royal... I'm about taking care of others. I don't want to have to think about me... arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!! Terri called me because she knew something was wrong because I hadn't been by in a few days. She was worried... That is Terri in a nutshell... she's trying not to die, but is more worried about her little brother... I'm starting to feel a little better but I'm still trying to get used to my sugar levels cause I can feel when the sugar is up and especially when it's down. Thank God, I'm not having to use needles for insulin shots... at least not yet. But it's still an adventure as I feel everything in my head and have to get used to it all... But I will. I have to... I've got to think of someone other than myself. My gal pal... my family. Yeesh, I don't feel like being responsible right about now...lol...

Another Perfectly Crappy Monday

I hope you all had a pretty good weekend. Me, it was tough because I was on the road in Iowa (zzzzzz) and it was long, but I survived it. But the hard part was hearing from Terri. She went to a oncologist and he told her that her cancer is terminal. It hit me between the eyes like someone sucker-punching me. She doesn't deserve this. Not at all. Her doc is trying to talk her into going on disability because of the drastic stuff they want to try. Terri actually is handling it pretty well. I'm probably dealing with it worse than she is. She told me that she has to keep a positive attitude and she is going to stand on her faith because she still feels that she has a lot to live for and feels very strongly that she has things to accompish on this earth. It really ticks me off because she helps so many people (including Lou) and this is how she is rewarded? I still struggle with this from time to time because even though my faith in God is entact, I wonder why one of God's true angels is made to suffer like this. I know there are others who are going through stuff like this and worse. I think of Donnie going through his last days in Hospice and yet he's older so I can almost understand that one. But Terri is just a couple years older than me. I humbly ask for your prayers for my sister. She's a wonderful and beautiful person. People say nice things about me because some of the things that I do... well that's a direct result of what Terri has done as she raised me after my mom died back when we were kids. My dad climbed into a bottle and Terri took over the household and kept us together... at the ripe old age of 16. Now in her 40's, Terri wants to enjoy life. But she's in the ultimate battle for her life.

Living for a Reason... And Partying at Hospice...

Greetings one and all,
Hope you all are well. Me, I'm doing fair... I'm in the throes of my busiest time of year... My time to travel and do lots of broadcasting. So I haven't seen the sisters in a few days but they remain in the status quo dept. So I guess no news is good news... at least for now. I worry about them but they are fairing okay. Last night, we did something different. I normally get together with some friends from the hospital (okay about 5 doctors, one drug rep, and me) to play poker. Usually we are cheap when it comes to the money we play for... usually nickels, dimes, and at the most, quarters. It's just an excuse to get together and gab and laugh and enjoy ourselves. We've been doing this for the better part of about 15 years. One of the players, Donnie, who was a surgeon at the hospital, was diagnosed with cancer and it's throughout his abdomen and it's mets... which means there's nothing they can do. Donnie knows that and has been pretty okay in understanding it. He lost his wife to the same disease a few years ago and it destroyed him. I think he feels that maybe in death, he can be reunited with the love of his life. Well, Donnie has been moved to hospice. Some of the poker boys decided that instead of playing poker at somebody's house last night, that we'd go see Donnie at hospice and all of us with medical backrounds, we knew it wasn't going to be pretty. But we all love Donnie so it wasn't even a question. I finished my radio show and left and headed over to the hospice. I was kind of surprised. I got there and was expecting it to be really depressing and sad. It was anything BUT that!!! Some of Donnie's nurses from the old outpatient surgery dept. decided to stop out to cheer him up. That huge group was all female. Donnie is about 68 years old and all the girls loved him... like a little teddy bear. Of course, the sensitive guy I am, I had to comment... one of the guys says "geez Donnie, you're quite the ladies man...even now". To which I chimed in "hey boys, that's what happens to short, bald, surgeons..." The place just broke up and Donnie could not surpress his infectious grin. And the poker boys sat at a rec room table with Donnie and he wanted to play poker. So instead of using money, we used sugar packets and dairy creamer packets from the hospice kitchen to gamblewith and someone brought a pack of cards so it was poker night like always. Donnie had a ball. He tired easily but was able to keep up with everything in a pretty good way. We finished playing and helped Donnie back to his room where his nurse was waiting for him to give him his meds for the night. Donnie was woefully thin from this awful disease, but all things considered, didn't look all too bad. I got to spend a few brief moments with him alone and asked him if there was anything I could do for him... "yeah, get me a new stomach" Donnie quipped. I told him I loved him and that I was going to keep praying for him. Donnie's not much of spiritual guy, but he understood my sentiment. So we left and out in the parking lot we decided that our next poker night was going to be back at hospice... I never thought I'd say this... but I actually had a good time there... man, does that sound weird to say... I best get some sleep now... Gotta work and right after that it's to the bus and head to Iowa to broadcast some hockey games. I'm beat... I need to sleeeeeeeep!!!

Lou-natic Fringe...

Hello folks,
Thanks for being patient with me while I continue with the insanity that is my life these days... But I must say it is a whole lot better than it has been in quite sometime. I have been so busy that even I am starting to feel a bit under the weather but am on anti-biotics and am feeling better as I write this. Okay, first things first: the sister updates. Terri found a lump in her breast. She's not tickled and had a mamogram done and after she gets the results back next week, she'll go see a specialist who is supposed to be a cancer hot shot... She is just exhausted and doesn't know what to think or feel at this point. I want to scream and pound my fist in the wall. The easy way out is to say "why God are You allowing this to happen?" But I know better... this isn't God allowing this to happen. This is the enemy trying to attack our family and have us lose our faith. But I'm standing firm on my faith and believing that God is good and will give us the courage to stand in the face of adversity. Terri has had her pity party and now she is standing on her faith and is going to work during her chemo treatment. I think that's insane but she's just one hard nosed teacher... I'm glad she's got the determination... I just hope she has the strength.
As for Lou, as I said in a previous post: I've got my sister back. She is still over at rehab and they are going to work her butt off everyday. She's now got things to look forward to. Namely.... GOING HOME! That will be in about another week or so and I know she can't wait for that! It'll be a change. But she's up for it and she's back to her old self. The anti biotics are doing their job. I'm glad she's feeling better and is being her normal, cantankerous self... I saw her yesterday and we joked around a little bit and she was peppering me with questions about me and the gal pal... I felt like I was at a one person press conference because my family have become completely enamoured of my girlfriend, even though they've yet to meet her in person... I got to spend last weekend with her... and in one word.... amazing.... simply amazing. The profound differences in me since I've had her in my life... my family keeps asking me who am I and what did I do with their brother? lol... I am feeling pretty good as I get ready for the weekend. Lot's of broadcasting to do as i head to Holgate (OH) on friday, Chicago on saturday, and Peoria IL, on sunday... ugh... I think I need a nap...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Home (and rehab) Improvements...

Hi, sorry it's been so long since I've posted but I've had a ton of things to do. Namely, getting things going again for broadcasting sports and stuff plus running back and forth checking on the sisters. First things first. Thank GOD that things seem to be finally settling down with Lou. Even though she lost her leg, I've got my sister back. She was getting a little remorseful again about the way she had lashed out at me during the pre-amputation stay at the hospital. I finally just told her to let it go because I didn't take it personally. She wondered how I could do that and I told I've worked in hospitals for over 20 years and have seen every kind of confused patient there is. I didn't take any of what she said to me seriously so there was no reason for me to be upset. She was grateful and besides, I knew when it was her talking and when it was just the infection. Well, she's now out of the hospital and in rehab learning to get around again... I go and see her and am tickled that she's feeling SO MUCH better. She still has a few moments where she doesn't like to look down at where her foot used to be. But even that too, has gotten better. Her numbers from her cell counts for her battle with Leukemia have improved tremendously so I'm happy that Lou's got a lot to look forward to. She'll probably have a short stay at rehab (they're still giving her heavy doses of anti-biotics to make sure the infection is cleared up) and then they'll fit her for a prosthetic and Good Lord willing, teach her how to walk again in the very near future... Now the pendulum of big concern swings back in the direction of Terri. She's still struggling but is as tough a fighter as I've ever seen. Much tougher than I am... BY FAR. She's feeling better as the after effects of the chemotherapy are less, but still the progress for her has come not as fast (at least to my liking) but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day now was it? Thank you again so very much for the kind words and prayers... I sit here a very humbled person and a grateful one for all of you and your goodness and wish you all blessings galore... Thank you... :)

Humid Humor and the Rehab

Okay,
Haven't talked about all the little things that have gone on in the backround outside of dealing with my both of my sister's health conditions and believe me, there have been plenty. From Terri really hurting because of one of her students drowned at a quarry a couple of weeks ago, to the central air conditioning taking a deuce (aka crapping out) on the girls and part of Terri's instructions with the type of chemo that she's on is that she MUST remain COOL at all times. Of course, being off of work because of this means that she hasn't had steady income coming in so the cost of repairing the central air in her house would be a fortune. I didn't have the coin to do that either. But knew that I had to come up with something. Terri has a window air conditioner that was cooling the temp of the house and her bedroom from 102 to an artic-like 94 degrees because she has a pretty good-sized place. Well, when she stayed in her bedroom, it was bearable because the room is small and she had a big box fan as well that she kept right on her. But I knew that wasn't going to be good enough... so without giving it a second thought I pulled my a/c unit out of the window of my first floor of my house and hauled it over and installed it in the front of the house so that it (along with her a/c unit in the back) would cool the house considerably. So while I was at the hospital with Lou, I called Terri to check on her and it was a two-line conversation that told me that everything was going to be okay:

Me: "so is it any better or at least more bearable now in that place?"
Terri: "sorry, I busy right now... I'm building you a shrine..."

I nearly had my diet coke with lime come through my nose... Lou is doing sooooo much better than she was in prior days. She is going to be on heavy duty anti-biotics to get rid of the infection for a while yet. They took her off of some of the pain meds. In fact, the pain in her back is gone but she has the infamous 'phantom pain' so we'll see how this goes... She's been transferred to rehab services to work on getting her strength back and to deal with the loss of her leg and in about 4-6 weeks getting fitted for a prosthetic leg... She's looking forward to walking again and most important of all... to get out of this rehab place... She still gets a little confused at times but mostly she's scared because she's just had the leg amputated, doesn't know what to expect from a bunch of new faces (nurses, etc) and is now in another room and because I'm dividing my time between Lou, Terri, and work... I don't get much in the way of time for myself at all. But I knew it would be that way... hey, things are turning around and again, I'm very humbled for all of your prayers for me and my family. They really have done some wonders... That's how I've been able to have the strength to keep going and do what needed to be done with the sisters. I didn't do anything extraordinary. My sisters both set the standard of what a compassionate human being should be. Let's put it this way: for every nice thing I do for them, it's because they've done ten times more and were a lot more caring in the way they did it... Me, I'm doing it because I care, but more because I know it needsto get done... They are FAR more compassionate and understanding than their little brother. I appreciate the kind words, but I'm grateful more for my family than I am for me.

Lookin' Up

Cautious optimism is the approach I'm taking these days. My sister Lou had her leg amputated and she seems to have improved quite a bit. She still gets confused about things that happen. As to what is real and what she perceives as real. That she is able to lie there and not be writhing in pain is a miraculous blessing. It's made her slow emersion from la-la land tolerable and understanding. The biggest thing right now is that she is scared to be alone. She calls Terri at home about 10 times a day and wants to know why she isn't out there with her. She gets highly emotional about Terri not being there even though she seems to be aware of the fact that Terri just had a chemo treatment and is wiped out completely. Lou is very afraid right now. I go there after work almost everyday and spend lots of time there. But she wants someone there 24/7 cause she gets very anxious and wants someone there to calm her down... It's very tough and draining sometimes but I try to keep my sense of humor entact. Lou did sheepishly apologize to me for going off on me, thinking that there was some plot to keep her trapped against her will and she was very nasty and mean for the days leading up to the surgery. But the anti-biotics seem to be doing the job as her back has improved tremendously. Let's hope she'll keep it up.

Time To Rock, Time To Roll...

So it goes... I'm feeling kind of weird... It's been a real struggle the last few days. Lou is actually doing better. But she's still confused and a little bit disoriented. The docs made the big decision about her illness. The Osteomyelitis is originating out of her ankle and the bone is so severely infected, that the docs say there is no way to save her leg. So wednesday morning, she'll have it amputated. If there is one blessing out of this, is that Lou (prior to all of this) was aware she may have to lose her leg if it progressed in a negative way. So she was okay with that... But right now, she doesn't have a clue. I went to see her yesterday and she was frustrated and was trying to put her shoes on and wanted to go home. She was lashing out at me and was saying some incredibly venemous stuff and accusing me of plotting to keep her there against her will. Any and all explanations regarding her health issues went in one ear and out the other. They are trying to change some of her medication around which is a good thing. I noticed that she was so much calmer and relaxed when she was given some meds to calm down. But the problem was that they were giving it to her only every 12 or 14 hours. She needs it more frequently and after having to literally wrestle her because she was so wacked out on the weekend, the docs and nurses were more than willing to increase the frequency of what she needs. So tomorrow morning, her left leg gets amputated up to her knee. Terri undergoes another chemo treatment today and will be a complete mess for a few more days. She does not deserve this. But she knows that she has to wage this battle to survive and keep on going and that her students want her to be there for them. The new school year is getting ready to start and she wants to be a part of it. But it's going to be a difficult road. No question about it... As for me, I'm just hanging in there. It gets frustrating sometimes and there are times that you just want to quit and bail from all of this... but we don't have a choice. I still have to go to work and head over to check up on them and do what I can. It's not always alot, but I do what I can. The rest, I send it to my Creator. If I tried to do all of this by myself, I'd probably be in the psych ward trying to write strange things on my forehead... but by turning to Him, I'm able to at least find some peace in the midst of all this misery. He really gives me the strength to keep it together and go forward. The one other area where I am able to keep my chin up is with my gal pal. She has been my rock and has kept me going when I've felt any feelings of despair. She has been so encouraging and uplifting to me... She helps me stay focused and just by her warmth and tenderness, she makes me realize that I'm going to somehow pull through. I really love that girl y'know... :) I thank God every single day for her...

Scanning For Answers...

Looking forward to a Saturday off from the job. I have to go broadcast some motorcross on Saturday night. But more important stuff... Lou is still in the hospital, she is still completely confused and disoriented and it's beginning to worry me. The folks at the hospital at first thought that her baseline included dementia... when I politely informed the nurse that up until six weeks prior to admission, Lou was walking and talking and driving... HELLO... the nurses were shocked. I'm trying not to feel anger or throw in the towel, I just hate that when I see Lou lying there, she wants help and is scared beyond belief, but can't really communicate her fears or anything clearly. She just starts crying and it kills me to know that she is suffering like this. Terri finally broke down and went over to the hospital to see her, even though her doctor told her not to. Lou had to have a CAT Scan and an MRI but was not co-operating. Terri calmed her down and they were able to get the tests done. But Lou tries to get everyone to do things for her because she thinks that if she does certain things that maybe she'll get to go home. That can't happen because she is unable to take care of herself. Terri's still got four more months of chemotherapy... My attitude is still positive, but man, this is some heavy duty stuff...

Making Sense...

A new week begins... oh yippee.
Well, things seem to be figured out (maybe) with Lou about what's causing her such pain and misery... well, we think! The infectious disease doc that came to see her after she was admitted to the hospital took another look at her MRI that the pain management doc said was normal. The infectious disease doc said that she absolutely suffers from osteomylitis in the L4 and L5 lumbar region of her back and that it stems from a blood infection from her foot. Osteomylitis is an infection of the bone. It causes tremendous pain and the infection can cause you to act a little bit wacky. So they are giving Lou tremendous amounts of anti-biotics to try and combat it. They still may have to amputate her leg. But that remains to be seen. Hopefully, we'll find out more today and get a plan of action. Fortunately, the pain mgt. doc is on vacation so we won't have to deal with him. Sad really, because I've known him for years.
Anyway, on Saturday it was the mini grade school reunion as my buddy Billy and his wife Dani flew into town for his parents 50th wedding anniversary celebration. We've known each other since 2nd grade and the funny part is that we were not friends in grade school at all. But we got along in high school and became really good friends right after graduation. We've kept in touch since he moved out to California and we've grown very close and count each other as the closest of friends. His family here in town and I still keep in touch with each other too. There were a couple of other friends from grade school there too. Jeff and Robert. Jeff and I weren't close at all but he and Billy were/are so we know each other but don't really have a lot in common. No biggie though. Jeff seems to be a nice guy. Robert and I grew up together. From the time we were in diapers till about 8th grade. Our families were very close back then too. Robert went to a different high school than me so we kind of went our seperate ways. We would run into each other over the years but not too often. Life is like that sometimes. But whenever we see each other, it's as if we hadn't ever left. This weekend was no different. But then again, it was. Robert used to get into lots of trouble in his teen years, but that was then. I always had this judgemental stupidity in me that would say that more than likely, he was going to end up being a statistic. Booze, dope, the usual suspects. But here we are, all these years later, and Robert is clean and sober. Doing some big things at the company he works for and last year decided that he was searching for something meaningful in his life. He felt kind of awkward talking about it in front of the group at the party, but I could tell he was referencing that he has a relationship with God and is going to church now. Most of the people there were not spiritual in nature. But when he and I were helping to pack up stuff to put away afterwards, I could tell he wanted to share. So while we were standing outside at Billy's dad's truck, I simply asked "so, Robert, where do you go to church?" His eyes lit up and we had a very nice conversation about how he knew he needed something to help get his life back on track. and that he found it by reaching out and I could see the awkwardness leave him and we were having a great time just joking around and having good conversation. I think he may have felt that everyone would think that he was weird for his new found faith. I just said and he agreed that he found a 'home' where he can believe and be at peace with himself. Finding a fellow christian to talk to makes it a bit easier. Most of his friends now are at church but he still has a few friends from our old days. But most of them don't drink or get into trouble any more. I think of the four of us, I'm the only one who still has a cold one every six months or so. I never had a problem with it, but I lost the taste for it... But it was great to see the boys from childhood and see that we're all okay. We all have our own paths to travel, but we will always have each other's back when the chips are down. I love those guys. Billy and Robert are the brothers I never had... it felt good to spend time with them.

The Roller Coaster Ride Continues...

Well,
Just like the title infers, the ups and downs of life goes on... My sister Lou has been wacking out again. I am convinced more than ever that she is affected by the medications that her doctors have put her on. She is not at all herself and is displaying weird behaviors and is a mess right now. A few days ago she seemed to be really making a bit of progress. But today I got a phone call from the visiting nurse who said that she was completely disoriented and acting very irrational. I headed over there only to find out that she was already enroute to the doctors. She was in great pain and the doctors have been dragging their feet in finding out what's going on. Her pain management doc said he won't touch her until she goes and sees an infectious disease doc first. So she made the appointment and was supposed to go see the I.D. doc today. Well the pain mgt. goofball says that he's on vacation next week so he can't see her until the 20th. What the heck is this noise? So I got a phone call saying she's going to see the infectious disease doc in the hope that he'll refer her to the hospital and a pain mgt consult so that someone other than the meathead she has will treat her and actually DO SOMETHING! But the I.D. doc wants to wait and try something in a few days but Lou has been in pain from her back for over a month. So she went from there to the hospital ER. I spent the afternoon talking with Terri. Terri is about ready to go crazy. Lou (in the state that she's in) is confused and disoriented and has been running Terri ragged. Terri was telling me this stuff through tears. It's eating her alive because she wants to have compassion on Lou and help her. But Lou's erratic behavior at all hours of the day and night have driven Terri to the breaking point. Not to mention Terri is on chemotherapy herself and is SUPPOSED to be resting and not doing much at all. Ha! My prayer is that they admit Lou to the hospital and try to find out what is going on with her. She's not safe to be home alone and is a danger to herself... To be honest, I want Terri to have a break from the pressure and all of this stuff that has her at her wit's end. Other than that, I'm plugging along. The Cherokee tryout camp is this weekend. I'm not going to be there for most of it as I have several other commitments including working at my day job.But I'm looking forward to hitting the road again this fall. But say a prayer for Lou and Terri. They're both really good people who are in a season of trial and storm. But my prayer is that the season be a really short one and ends soon. Like maybe, yesterday! God, please have mercy on them...