Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving... You might think there's not a lot in my life to be thankful for... but that would be just flat out wrong! My sister Lou told us she wants us to stop everything. She is in agony and has had enough. We are looking at Hospice and considering some other options. We'll discuss things as a family and make some very tough choices. But I am thankful... I'm thankful we know her wishes and will be able to honor her requests. I'm thankful that while she's suffering, we don't have to guess what to do, thereby saving a lot of angst. I'm thankful that with them implementing hospice care, they can make Lou comfortable for what ever time she has left. Most of all, I'm thankful that we can prepare for what is upcoming. Most folks don't get time to prepare or say goodbye. We get that time... It won't be easy. It never is. But we've got a lot to be thankful for... I hope you and yours have a blessed Thanksgiving. If you don't live in the States, then I hope you have a great Thursday...

The Road Less Travelled...

Things are slowly going downhill for Lou. Her body is slowly starting to shut down. I went to the hospital last night to see her and she never even opened her eyes. She received her dialysis in her room and didn't wake up or anything. She fades in and out, occasionally recognizing us only sometimes, while fading out and staring off into space and closing her eyes and not really responding to us. I sat there looking at her and totally at a loss of what to wish for. Obviously, I want a miracle and get my sister back healthy. If that's not in God's plans, then I don't know what to pray for... should I pray she make it through the holidays for my family's comfort? Or should I pray that she not suffer and be at peace. But I don't want her to leave... Life can really suck sometimes. But the overriding thing for me is that I can't allow my greed to interfere with God's will. I've made my peace and have prayed on it and came to the conclusion that God is going to do what He wants to do and I need to surrender and allow Him to do his thing. And I've got to be okay with that. Not because I have to be... but because I want to be... Today is Veteran's Day/Rememberance Day. It's also Terri's birthday. It's not going to be super festive because Terri is taking all of this with Lou really hard. When Terri was going through sheer hell with all her battles with cancer, it was Lou who was there to help Terri when the rest of us had to work and all the other things that kept us apart for whatever reason. It was Lou who really stepped up and was there for Terri and helped her make it through. Terri had tried valiantly to take care of Lou but it has been overwhelming. So now it's all in God's hands. And Terri is really hurting right now because she sees our sister go through her agony and Terri can't fix it. I've gotten to the point where if it's God's will that she goes home to Heaven, I can accept that and I'm okay with that. My faith tells me that she will be healed in paradise if God calls her home. He can do anything that goes beyond all comprehension. My heart has accepted that whatever His will is, I will be okay with that.

In The Deep Freeze...

Hi folks...
I am feeling much better. Thanks for the prayers. They are much appreciated. Not much has changed around here... everything and everyone is still status quo for the moment. I have been working my butt off and it's been crazy. I had one of those "It was God" moments a few days ago. Terri's big freezer went out on her and she hasn't had another one yet. I figured I would get her one for her birthday and put it on layaway, making payments on it. Well, I had put 140 dollars down on it and got on with the rest of my life. I was driving and my front brakes decided to crap out on me. I knew I didn't have much in the way of money. I was not going to freak out about it and figured I'd milk it for a week till payday. Well, I got a call from the department store telling me the brand of freezer I'd gotten for Terri was being recalled so they wanted to refund my money back and they would let me know when the freezer was available for sale again. So I went and got the money from the store and drove the car next door to a brake shop to get my brakes done. The final total? One hundred thirty-eight dollars and 47 cents. I celebrated by going through the drive-thru at McDonald's and got a McDouble with that last dollar... lol Then I seen an ad in the Sunday paper for a freezer on sale for much cheaper than I was going to buy it for... Coincidence? I DON'T THINK SO...