The Art of Breaking (the alarm) and Entering...

From the files of "Police Squad" (not)... Lt. Frank Drebin would be proud...

So, I go to see my gal pal cause I needed to and the fact that she never fails to amaze me, not only with her beauty, but with her gentleness, kindness, and (when dealing with me) PATIENCE! (ha-ha). I just flat out love that girl. And she loves me too! Always a huge bonus. Well, we go to church on Sunday morning because that is what we do. We also, like always, go down the street to get something to eat afterwards. So we go and eat and her parents are there in the back private room, eating with a large group of folks from Georgia who came up to teach Vacation Bible School for the week. So her parents were going to give them the two dollar tour of where they'd be teaching at. It was a hot, very hot, day and I was dripping with sweat already. So her dad tosses me the key to his house and says "here ya go". The wonderful thought of kicking back in the air conditioned comfort with my best girl made me smile. So the gal pal and I pull up and I help her into her wheelchair. I go to unlock the door, and hear the alarm go off. I stay calm and ask the gal pal if she knows the code to shut it off. She gives me the numbers and they turn out to be wrong. I hear the phone ring in the backround but don't know where it is. So I call her father on his cell and explain to him the noise he hears in the backround is me apparently breaking and entering because there is an alarm going off here!!! He calmly gives me the code to enter and sure enough, the alarm shuts off. Then he asks me "did the phone ring yet?" My heart begins to sink as I reply "uh, yes." He comes back with "oh, that was the security company, they're going to send the law out after you. It was nice knowing you Mik." Everyone loves a smartalec... So I figure I'll explain everything when they get there and hope they have a sense of humor. I get the gal pal out of her wheelchair and onto the sofa so she can get comfortable. I go to the bathroom and change out of my church clothes because they are soaked with sweat (gee I wonder why?) and I change into a t-shirt and shorts. Then the phone rings again. My heart starts to pound as I race towards it from the bathroom. I see the phone in the kitchen, setting in it's recharging station. I pick it up and hit the 'talk' button to answer it. It's only a split second later that I realized that once you lift the phone from the charger when it's ringing, that it will automatically answer. So when I hit the 'talk' button, I actually disconnected the call. I look on the caller ID and sure enough, I had just hung up on the boys in blue!!! I let out a curse word (sh**) and in the other room, the gal pal yells out "what did you just say?" and starts laughing at me. I called the number back on the phone and they answer and I just flowed like a volcano when lava spews out, explaining the situation and even the police person on the other end of the phone laughed at me. So FINALLY we got everything resolved and I was able to sit on the couch with the gal pal and I think I put her to sleep (also known as putting one of my all-time favorite movies on: "Rudy"... the movie about the Notre Dame football player). A little while later, her dad comes home and walks in and looks at me and as he's walking by, he chirps at me "Mik, are you still here?" and starts laughing at me. I told him if he ever thought I might consider a life of crime, this experience should put any such thought to rest. My gal pal had the biggest grin on her face. Probably because it involved something other than watch a movie that was putting her to sleep. Her inept, would be burglar just laid his head on her lap and knew it was all going to be fine when she just ran her fingers through his hair. Man, I really do love that girl!

Doesn't Seem Like Five...

Hmmmmm... had a nice birthday yesterday. Moving into official middle-age didn't seem like to big a deal until I tried to mess around with my sister's dog Lucy. I went over there yesterday cause they wanted to make a nice meal for me for the birthday. I enjoyed it and started getting playful with Lucy. I was in the backyard and thought about running around the yard with her. That's when it hit me... wholly crap I can't run like this dog can. I just smiled at her, left her in the back yard and walked back in to the air conditioning and just said the heck with it.
Well, it was five years ago today that my dad went to heaven. I miss him. He was a good guy and he loved his family. Part of me wishes he was still here. But the overall feeling I have is that I don't wish him back. I know he's in paradise and with my mom whom he loved like crazy. Why would I be so selfish and wish him back to here? It wouldn't be right. I know he's not suffering from the ravages of cancer anymore and he is enjoying life in eternity. That's a pretty cool thing and I won't want him back when he is free from pain and misery. But it's been five years and I know that he's at peace... I still miss him though... Still, thanks dad! I appreciate all that you did for me to show me how to live and to love. Thank you ol' man... you're the best! I love you a ton!

What's In A Name?.... If You're Seven!

From the 'captain kangaroo meets bart simpson' dept:

Okay, time for your inner, immature, seven year-old to stand out and shine... The following is excerpted from from the children's book "the adventures of captain underpants" and "perilous plot of professor poopy pants" by Dave Pilkey. In this story, the professor (a bad guy) forces everyone to assume a new name. So, with that little nugget in mind, here's a little excercise in useless stupidity. Find your capt. underpants/prof. poopy pants new name... it's easy, and cheesy and downright silly. But hey, I have been busier than all getout and I needed to put out a new entry for my blog. I was hard up for ideas...lol... here's the directions: from the following list of silly names, choose yours based on three letters of your entire name. Here's how you come up with your silly name...

Step one: Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new silly first name...

A= Snickle B= Doombah C= Goober D= Cheesy E= Crusty

F= Greasy G= Dumbo H= Farcus I= Dorky J= Doofus K= Funky

L= Boobie M= Sleezy N= Sloopy O= Fluffy P= Slinky Q= Slimy

R= Dorfus S= Snooty T= Tootsie U= Dipsy V= Sneezy

W= Liver X= Skippy Y= Dinky Z= Zippy

Now, Step Two: Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first part of your new last name...

A= Dippin' B= Feather C= Batty D= Burger E= Chicken

F= Barffy G= Lizard H= Waffle I= Farkle J= Monkey K= Flippin'

L= Frickin' M= Bubble N= Rhino O= Cat P= Hamster Q= Buckle

R= Gizzard S= Lickin' T= Snickle U= Chuckle V= Pickle

W= Hubble X= Dingle Y= Gorilla Z= Girdle

Finally, the last part... Use the third letter of your last name to create the second part of your new silly last name.

A= Butt B= Boob C= Face D= Nose E= Hump F= Breath

G= Pants H= Shorts I= Lips J= Honker K= Head L= Tush

M= Chunks N= Dunkin' O= Brains P= Bisquits Q= Toes

R= Doodle S= Fanny T= Sniffer U= Sprinkles V= Frack

W= Squirt X= Humperdinck Y= Chicken Z= Juice

And presto! you have a new silly name... And I have updated my blog. I hope to hear what your silly names are... For the record, my silly new name is Funky Catdunkin'...