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Giving Thanks

Looking back through time when I was a kid
I think about all of the stupid things that I did
And how I hurt You

I thought I had the world in the palm of my hand
But the truth be told, I really didn't understand
The way I hurt You

There's nothing I can do now, to change the past
Wishing won't make it go away I thought the die was cast
But then there's You...

So here I am all these years later and You're still here
Only You know where I've gone, feeling shame and fear
Yet that didn't matter to You

You still took me back with Your outstretched arms
And forgave the pain I inflicted and all of the harm
How can I ever thank You?

I don't know what I did to deserve a second chance at life
Never thought I'd live to be this old, much less be so alive
And it's all because of You

Thank You for giving a broken person another chance to live
I still make mistakes but You're still quick to forgive
Instead of denying, I Honor YOU

Thanks for not giving up on me when I wanted to fall apart
I don't know how else to say what's inside of my heart
I Love You

A life changing greasy cheeseburger...

Here we are on Sunday, the proverbial day of rest. I'm on the road. I'm in Cincinnati, and I really have enjoyed myself this weekend, and I'm by far, a changed person. Okay, I'm not going to shave my head and join the moonies... oops, I did shave my head but I'm not joining the moonies... okay, NO CHANTING! lol... Anyway, I had some extra time and went down over the border and I met a friend of mine down in Kentucky for lunch. She and her father were simply amazing. She suffers from a disease called Freidrich's Ataxia, which affects her speech and some of her motor skills, including having to get around in a wheelchair. But it does not dampen her spirit. That's what floored me. When the two of them popped into the restaurant, she struggled to stick her hand out to shake my hand. I didn't want shake her hand too hard. But she just went on with talking to me as if it were no big deal. That's because to her, it wasn't. Her dad was such a great guy. I hit it off with him immediately. We spent a couple of hours together and I went with them and visited a center where they do ministry outreach for some of the less fortunate. They are the most unassuming people I've ever met. I was rocked to my core. I never seen someone who has such struggles, serve as such an inspiration to others. And she considers her physical challenges an honor and a blessing from God to be able to help and serve others. I get whinny and annoyed if I can't sleep. How could I ever complain when I see people like her and know that she is able to do so much more than I ever could, and under the most difficult of circumstances and do it with such joy? Earlier this past week, I was a little complacent and complaining about what I thought were the challenges of daily life. I have learned from a little girl with cancer, and a woman with freidrich's ataxia, that what I face is so minimal and insignificant with what these girls face. Y'know, it says in the Good Book that God uses the foolish to confound the wise... I think in this case, it was the other way around. He used the wise to confound this foolish person... I sit here in awe of some amazing people. And I mean it when I say I am in awe of these people. My heroes were always people in my profession and of course the Big Man upstairs. He continues to be. But I think that the ones here on earth have been replaced by a three year old and a woman in a wheelchair who can do and say more with one incredible smile, than I could ever do working for hours and hours. I can't tell you how blessed I am...

A Matter Of Perspective...

Sometimes I must admit, when I get down on myself, I silently hope that God will give me a nudge to jumpstart my attitude. I was feeling a bit blue the other night when I was writing about my nephew heading off to camp and not saying c'ya. I had all of those thoughts that go through your head at times like that... what IF? I knew I had to let go of those thoughts and remain focused on the objective- to make sure he becomes a Marine, a man, and comes home safely (preferrably in one piece). I had those wacked out thoughts in my head but got snapped back to reality... at work of all places. I, sitting there like a bump on a log, when in stops the neice of one of my co-workers. She and her husband bring in their 3 year old daughter to get chemo and be treated for a tumor on her kidney... and she's only three freaking years old??? I stopped complaining and feeling sorry for myself right on the spot. Haley is such an adorable bundle of joy and has such an infectious smile that I can't help but smile and laugh when she starts singing and dancing around. She's quite an inquisitive little one and I gave her some candy when she was leaving and after her mom told her to 'say thank you', Haley walked over and high fived me. I couldn't believe that this little 3 year-old sweetheart could have an impact on me. I've always had a bitter anger towards cancer because of what it has done to my family. I've lost virtually all of my mom's side of the family and a number of (and including) my dad's. I lost him a year and a half ago. I've got a sister with leukemia, and another sister who is trying to recover from the ravages of ovarian... The easiest thing to do is to feel sorry for myself. But I CAN'T. Under NO circumstances can I allow myself to get down about life or the people in it. There is way too much in life to live for and look forward to. I need to appreciate and treasure life because as unexciting and lousy as it can get sometimes, there are lots of people who would give anything to trade places with me. And it took a little 3 year old girl who is fighting for her own life to bring that point home to me..
Well, I'm on the road right now... heading to Cincinnati tomorrow for a pair of games and then it's back home to start another dull week of work... and I am blessed to look forward to it...

Das Boot (camp)

I'm sitting here kind of quiet. My nephew left for the Marines. I'm sort of quiet about it because we haven't talked except when we said hello to each other in passing back at Christmas. He's been trying to live it up after high school and took some time for college but decided to enlist. I think it was because he felt he was going nowhere here. He was beginning to really give my sister a lot of lip and didn't want to listen to her or follow her rules. Part of me was surprised, but another part of me is glad because maybe he'll realize how good he had it at home. Of course the downside of this is that he'll probably end up having to go into battle. I've always admired and proudly heralded the military and especially their families for their sacrifice. I am only slightly worried about his future and where he might end up going. I was always supportive of our troops and this action. I am even more so now. My only prayer is that God keep my nephew protected and safe from all phyisical and emotional, and spiritual harm. And that the Marines help him grow up...

Who said small town life was boring? zzzz...

Can you imagine how much fun life would be if we all were exactly the same? Nah, me either. I had some fun the other day when I was wearing a tie-dye t-shirt and it was a Cherokee t-shirt but the person that noticed I was wearing it thought I was a Grateful Dead fan... aka... a 'deadhead'... depending on whom you ask, some might consider me a deadhead... as in dead from the neck on up. :) I'm still chuckling over that one. The girl that noticed it asked if I was a 'Dead fan... I said 'no' and asked why. "Because you have tie-dye on." In the infamous words of a personal hero... Bill Engvall- "Here's your sign."
Woke up this morning to freezing rain. After all the mild weather this winter in the midwest, my town turns into an outdoor skating rink. Speaking of rinks, the Cherokee took two games this weekend to move up into second place. So yes, I am in a pretty good mood...

Off and Running in '07

Sorry it's been a while since I've added an entry. I have been ridiculously busy. I have had so much going on away from the work stuff. The usual crap. Work, travel, minor emergencies, dumb things that go oops in the night. Oh, where to begin. I don't know. I just know that work right now is a pressure cooker... two people on leave (because of cancer) and another quit and we are working short handed and my schedule has gone upside down. But sometimes, it gets a little weird... and other times it can be downright humorous... exhibit A:

Me: "hi, can I help you?" (answering phone)
Caller: "yeah, I wanna talk to my mom"
Me: "um, is she a patient or does she work here?"
Caller: "yeah she's a patient!" (then mumbles under her breath... "what an idiot!")
Me: Okay...
Caller: "Okay WHAT?"
Me: "well, um, what's your mom's name?"
Caller: "Oh, uhhh, Disney"
Me: "Disney, how is that spelled please?"
Caller: (heavy sigh) "DISNEY... like Walt Disney... D-I-Z-N-Y"
Me: (trying not to laugh) "um, is that her first name or last"
Caller: Oh **** this! (hangs up)
Me: (thinking to myself) "well, now I can say that I know someone who didn't get 'Hooked On Phonics' for Christmas"