I Heard It On The Radio...

Hey folks,
Just wanted to touch base and say howdy. Terri's birthday was this past Sunday so I was/am thankful for another year of life. She was told by her doc that she has to go on disability. She is really bummed about that. She's tried putting on a brave face, but it really has got her down. The doc told her that the tumors haven't shrunk any, but they haven't grown either. So it's a minor win. At this point, we'll take it. She cheers up when she wants to know how me and my gal pal are doing. She and Lou both eat it up when they hear and see their little brother squirm trying to not talk about my relationship. Great as it is, I'm just not used to talking about me. That has always been a tough thing for me. But it lights them up when they hear that my gal pal keeps me in line. They just howl and have big crap eating grins when they see me squirm. It cheers them up. Lou is doing great in her rehab and the prosthetic leg... she'll be getting ready to think about home before too long.
Nothing new with me. I'm going to co-host with my buddy Todd on a morning radio show on our local Christian rock station this friday morning. It should be weird. But I'm looking forward to it. I don't know what all we'll talk about, but I'll try and be ready for just about anything. Plus, it's a music intensive show so I won't have to chat THAT much. But it should be fun. The station "Christian Hit Radio- Yes FM" streams their station online also so if any of you guys are bored and want to hear me and Todd talk a little about God, sports, music and whatever else we'll be yakking about, just go to Yes FM's website and click on the listen live link. They stream 24/7 so you can go check it out anytime to see what kind of music can be heard. Mostly geared towards our youth, it's more hard rocking than say, K-LOVE... but it remains Christ centered... Todd's normal radio partner Laura is on maternity leave, so he's had different substitute co-hosts. We're on this friday morning (nov 16) from 6-9am Eastern Time... I hope not to screw up too much... but I'm going to just have fun and be a goof... I'm good at that y'know...lol...

Kiss and Tell... ME? Nah...

Got to spend some time with the gal pal this past weekend. I don't get to spend a lot of time with her so when I do get to be with her, I absolutely enjoy it. She is wonderful. A whole lot more than a guy like me deserves... But I am simply the happiest guy on the planet when we're together...

Not A Whole Lotta Love... BUT(T)!!

Not much new to update as I went to see Lou tonight but she was sound asleep when I got there. So I let her rest and didn't bother her and I left. Terri is still plugging along as best she can so no news there. I still am insanely in love with my gal pal. She really inspires me to no end... But you guys all know this already. But I wanted to update you on what's happening. Since there's nothing new for the moment, I'll share with you a very brief phone call I got this afternoon at work and did everything I could not to laugh. It about did me in, but I kept my composure...

Me: "Can I help you"

Female Caller: "yeah, I wanna know if you can help me find somebody"

Me: "Who are you looking for?"

Female Caller: "I want, you know, I want you to hook me up with a doctor who can give me an organic shot with a needle to, you know, when you want your behind to get bigger"

Me: (thinking all she needs is Dunkin Donuts) "I tell ya what, let me send you over to physician referral."

Me: "I need HELLLLP!"

HIS Faith Is Kept...

After nearly 2 months of hospitalization not knowing what was wrong...followed by more than 2 months in rehab due to the amputation of her leg. My sister Lou finally... FINALLY got to where she was able to get up and walk... yes WALK without the rails on each side of her... on her first attempt. She shocked the therapists with her ability to get up and about... on the very first try. Typical Lou. They wanted her to take a few steps so they could measure the prosthetic leg and make adjustments to it before having her get the final version of it. They figured she'd take a few steps with the aid of the rails. She kept walking back and forth up and down the hallway. Her first time walking since the beginning of June. When she finally sat down from walking, she just smiled and cried and cried. She was overwhelmed with emotion and couldn't believe how far she's come since summer. As much as I was feeling blah the other day about myself and my faith... Well this is truly a time to feel joyous and grateful to God... He really is good. He really is...

Keeping the Faith... 'Alone' from Barlow Girl

Needed to remind myself today that God is always there even when I don't always feel Him near or when I need Him to minister to me and it seems like there's no answer in sight. Sometimes He is paving the way down the road and I don't always see that... But no matter how hard life can be sometimes, I've got to remain faithful...

Letting Go Of My Ego...

Hope you're doing alright,
Me, I'm doing so much better than I was last week. My attitude is good... My sister Terri called me and told me her computer wasn't working and wanted me to go check it out. The hard drive is toast. I don't know a tremendous amount about computer repair. Just a little...I'm not much of a computer geek. But my co-hort Mike is a bit of a geek. So while Terri is ticked about her computer, I have a little surprise for her. Her birthday is in 3 weeks. She is frustrated... but I'm going to take her computer and have not only a new hard drive installed, but change the motherboard, processor, and memory on it too. Her Dell is about 4 years old and is a bare bones model. Well, when I get done with her computer, it's going to be a very souped up high caliber system...But I'll spring that on her later...hahahaha....
My day in a nutshell: I've got a girlfriend whom I love with wreckless abandon. I told her the following true story and she had a big laugh... If you ever thought I had an ego, well, this should take care of that... So, I'm walking down the hallway at work. A couple of attractive young ladies make eye contact and look me up and down and are smiling. I just smile and keep on walking towards the restroom. Before I go and do my business, I go look in the mirror, wondering 'why would they be looking at me?' I check to make sure my hair is not messed up. I'm looking over everything when suddenly I looked and said 'oh perfect Mik... what a ding-dong'... The reason? Simple. My ZIPPER was down and my shorts were showing... I could do nothing but laugh out loud and not take myself so seriously... I zipped up when I left the water closet... So when I went back out into the hallway, I sheepishly went to the cafeteria, bought an apple, and went into the corner and sat away from everyone... I don't think anyone will ever use my name and the word 'ego' in the same sentence...

Mental Notes Noted

Hey,
Y'know, sometimes it can seem weird to just go on autopilot when enduring things that don't always go your way. I've really had that presented to me this week. I had to think about some things and decide whether or not I was going to remain in a good mood despite not always having things go my way. It wasn't easy, but I thought about all the times that I talked about my faith. Well, it was put up or shut up for me this week and I had to decide if I really had a strong faith. I stewed for a little bit, but after talking with the gal pal, decided that when thinking about my family and the things they're going through, that my so called difficulties weren't even real problems. So that brought me out of a lousy mood in a hurry. I'm feeling pretty okay at the moment. Not euphoric, mind you... but pretty okay. And then just when I think about my smallness and want to have a pity party, I experience a moment like this:
"Hi, can I help you?"
caller: "uh, yeah. I have a question"
"Okay, what's the question"
caller: "How much do they pay the volunteers that work there?"
(long pause for stunned silence) "Just when I thought I was losing it... thank you for reaffirming my belief in the public."

Flint's Tones

Howdy.
Well it's Sunday and I'm in Flint, Michigan with the hockey club and we're struggling right now. In the grand scheme of things, I can honestly say 'big deal', but I love the game and the team, as it takes my mind off of things going on. Granted, things aren't too bad currently. But as with all things Mik, everything is always subject to change without notice... lol... Terri is still putting up a very brave front. She is trying to live despite the diagnosis to the contrary... she continues to keep herself busy with lots of things and still makes it over to spend time with Lou in rehab. I went by Terri's house yesterday before I left for Flint and she wasn't home, but out in front there were a couple of guys who were building a ramp for when Lou gets to come home. It looks beautiful. I guess the couple of guys were from the school that Lou used to work at and wanted to help somehow and figured that this would be the best way that they could. Can't wait till Lou sees it.
I'm going to try this week to start saying hello and leaving messages on your journals/blogs. I have been swamped and haven't had the time to leave too many messages, but please don't think for one minute that I don't care or don't at least read what's going on... I've been deliquent in my duties of keeping up to date with everyone, but I going to try when possible to leave a comment... thanks again y'all for being so understanding... Meanwhile, I've spent any free moments I've had with the gal pal and my life is so much more enriched for it. When times are tough, she's there to keep me from thinking about what's wrong and encourages me to look at what is good and right. She does all this from a wheelchair. Not that the wheelchair deserves any publicity but it just simply amazes me that she impacts lives every single day just by being herself. She has made a HUGE difference in my life. I don't deserve her, but I'm grateful to the Good Lord that she's crazy about me. She has changed my life in a way that I never thought possible. And from a male pig perspective, she's a great kisser too!!! Just thought I'd throw that in for my own benefit... Take care and I'll talk to y'all soon... Love you guys lots,
Mik

Wrong Number Wishing....

Greetings from the Glass City,
I know my entries have not been as frequent as they have been, but I appreciate your understanding. It's been a zoo as of late with lots going on but most of it could be worse. I'm feeling okay right now. My sugar has been staying where it needs to so I am very blessed to know that my meds are working. Today was a nutty day at work when I got a call from a guy who was calling the wrong hospital and wanted me to do something about the service he got at another hospital. He talked to the president of the other hospital and said he wasn't satisfied with the response he got and said it was "not in a timely manner to my satisfaction"... so he called the president of the other hospital "a joke" and wanted me to do something about it... I told him he needed to contact the other hospital and talk to their administrative reps or a patient advocate etc... and the guy didn't want to. I tried four times to explain to him that we don't have anything to do with the other hospital and tried to re-direct him. But he wouldn't listen. Finally I said "is there anything else that I can do for you?" to which he responded "you aren't helping me with what I want right now"... I wanted to pound my head against the wall. I repeated my earlier comments to him and he finally said "I wish you all the pain and suffering that I've been through"... and then he hangs up. What a dreamy sweetheart that guy was. I wanted to say something nasty, but my christianity had to go and come to the fore... so I wished him a good day and that was that... arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! There, but for the grace of God, go I...

Sweet n Low... but still lovin' it...

Just wanted to touch base and say hello... still trying to get used to life with a glucometer. I hate it. But I know what has to be done. I am feeling so much better now that I'm getting adjusted to my meds and my diet is better (but I'm still royally ticked off about having to give up my lifeline...bread and potatoes)... went and saw Terri today. To my complete amazement, she is STILL teaching. She went from chemo to the classroom. Her doc wants her to go on disability because of her prognosis. She's considering it, but her heart still believes she has things to do in this world and wants to teach still. I mentioned if she goes on disability, she can volunteer to teach and tutor etc... she's still thinking about it... Her skin is blistering all over and it's getting more difficult for her to swallow food, but she cuts everything in small pieces so she can eat. She is still driving to work everyday and has become my hero... here on earth anyway.
Some sad news... a couple of entries ago I wrote about partying at hospice and playing poker with my friend Donnie. Well, Donnie passed away and Thursday was his funeral. I went and paid my respects and saw some old friends that I haven't seen in a long time and we had a few laughs over some old times with Donnie. His son and daughter were there and were doing pretty good. They were all prepaed for this. Donnie is now reunited with his true love... his wife. He's not suffering anymore and I wish him peace and joy in Heaven. When I found out he passed, I smiled. I remember how even though he was 71, he was very young for his age and lived life to the fullest. He golfed up until 5 weeks before his death. He really enjoyed the outdoors... I'll really miss him. But I remember him with fondness... not sadness...
On a happier note... I talked with Lou on Thursday also. She is back to her old, happy, cantankerous self :) I am pleased as punch. She is still working on learning how to walk again. She'll be in rehab for quite a while yet, but she's in a better frame of mind and is working everyday in PT to get better and stronger. Her attitude is very positive. She still does little tricks to do things like have each of us bring her food from outside... Typical Lou... And on an even more positive note... the Gal Pal... I don't know where I'd be without her. She has been a rock for me. I thank God everyday for her. She has been the one I lean on to share my joy, hope, pain, frustration.... you name it... To say I love this woman doesn't do her any justice... she is beyond amazing... I am in awe of her. And it's because God blessed me with her love that my attitude remains positive, upbeat, and my faith remains entact... that's what I have to cling to right now...

I'm Sweeter Than I Thought...

Well, I've been told I'm a nice guy and have been told how sweet I have been for whatever reason... Little did I know I'd take it a few steps further... oh yeah, leave it to me. I was feeling like total crap. Like I was hungover or something... problem is that I haven't had a drink in forever. So I call my best friend aka my doc and he has me stop in the office and after checking me over decides to run a few lab tests on me. He puts the results only like he can... "Mik you have gone from nothing to being the worst diabetic in my practice" Huh?? Diabetes?? Crap... that's the last thing I need. So I'm trying to adjust to doing some things that I'd rather not be doing... namely, learning how to eat food that's sugar free and healthy for me... I HATE IT... My lifestyle has always been that of a road dog... living out of motel rooms on the weekends eating motel food and fast food at the stops on the road during the fall/winter/spring... now I have to monitor everything including my blood pressure... Boy does this tick me off royal... I'm about taking care of others. I don't want to have to think about me... arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!! Terri called me because she knew something was wrong because I hadn't been by in a few days. She was worried... That is Terri in a nutshell... she's trying not to die, but is more worried about her little brother... I'm starting to feel a little better but I'm still trying to get used to my sugar levels cause I can feel when the sugar is up and especially when it's down. Thank God, I'm not having to use needles for insulin shots... at least not yet. But it's still an adventure as I feel everything in my head and have to get used to it all... But I will. I have to... I've got to think of someone other than myself. My gal pal... my family. Yeesh, I don't feel like being responsible right about now...lol...

Another Perfectly Crappy Monday

I hope you all had a pretty good weekend. Me, it was tough because I was on the road in Iowa (zzzzzz) and it was long, but I survived it. But the hard part was hearing from Terri. She went to a oncologist and he told her that her cancer is terminal. It hit me between the eyes like someone sucker-punching me. She doesn't deserve this. Not at all. Her doc is trying to talk her into going on disability because of the drastic stuff they want to try. Terri actually is handling it pretty well. I'm probably dealing with it worse than she is. She told me that she has to keep a positive attitude and she is going to stand on her faith because she still feels that she has a lot to live for and feels very strongly that she has things to accompish on this earth. It really ticks me off because she helps so many people (including Lou) and this is how she is rewarded? I still struggle with this from time to time because even though my faith in God is entact, I wonder why one of God's true angels is made to suffer like this. I know there are others who are going through stuff like this and worse. I think of Donnie going through his last days in Hospice and yet he's older so I can almost understand that one. But Terri is just a couple years older than me. I humbly ask for your prayers for my sister. She's a wonderful and beautiful person. People say nice things about me because some of the things that I do... well that's a direct result of what Terri has done as she raised me after my mom died back when we were kids. My dad climbed into a bottle and Terri took over the household and kept us together... at the ripe old age of 16. Now in her 40's, Terri wants to enjoy life. But she's in the ultimate battle for her life.

Living for a Reason... And Partying at Hospice...

Greetings one and all,
Hope you all are well. Me, I'm doing fair... I'm in the throes of my busiest time of year... My time to travel and do lots of broadcasting. So I haven't seen the sisters in a few days but they remain in the status quo dept. So I guess no news is good news... at least for now. I worry about them but they are fairing okay. Last night, we did something different. I normally get together with some friends from the hospital (okay about 5 doctors, one drug rep, and me) to play poker. Usually we are cheap when it comes to the money we play for... usually nickels, dimes, and at the most, quarters. It's just an excuse to get together and gab and laugh and enjoy ourselves. We've been doing this for the better part of about 15 years. One of the players, Donnie, who was a surgeon at the hospital, was diagnosed with cancer and it's throughout his abdomen and it's mets... which means there's nothing they can do. Donnie knows that and has been pretty okay in understanding it. He lost his wife to the same disease a few years ago and it destroyed him. I think he feels that maybe in death, he can be reunited with the love of his life. Well, Donnie has been moved to hospice. Some of the poker boys decided that instead of playing poker at somebody's house last night, that we'd go see Donnie at hospice and all of us with medical backrounds, we knew it wasn't going to be pretty. But we all love Donnie so it wasn't even a question. I finished my radio show and left and headed over to the hospice. I was kind of surprised. I got there and was expecting it to be really depressing and sad. It was anything BUT that!!! Some of Donnie's nurses from the old outpatient surgery dept. decided to stop out to cheer him up. That huge group was all female. Donnie is about 68 years old and all the girls loved him... like a little teddy bear. Of course, the sensitive guy I am, I had to comment... one of the guys says "geez Donnie, you're quite the ladies man...even now". To which I chimed in "hey boys, that's what happens to short, bald, surgeons..." The place just broke up and Donnie could not surpress his infectious grin. And the poker boys sat at a rec room table with Donnie and he wanted to play poker. So instead of using money, we used sugar packets and dairy creamer packets from the hospice kitchen to gamblewith and someone brought a pack of cards so it was poker night like always. Donnie had a ball. He tired easily but was able to keep up with everything in a pretty good way. We finished playing and helped Donnie back to his room where his nurse was waiting for him to give him his meds for the night. Donnie was woefully thin from this awful disease, but all things considered, didn't look all too bad. I got to spend a few brief moments with him alone and asked him if there was anything I could do for him... "yeah, get me a new stomach" Donnie quipped. I told him I loved him and that I was going to keep praying for him. Donnie's not much of spiritual guy, but he understood my sentiment. So we left and out in the parking lot we decided that our next poker night was going to be back at hospice... I never thought I'd say this... but I actually had a good time there... man, does that sound weird to say... I best get some sleep now... Gotta work and right after that it's to the bus and head to Iowa to broadcast some hockey games. I'm beat... I need to sleeeeeeeep!!!

Lou-natic Fringe...

Hello folks,
Thanks for being patient with me while I continue with the insanity that is my life these days... But I must say it is a whole lot better than it has been in quite sometime. I have been so busy that even I am starting to feel a bit under the weather but am on anti-biotics and am feeling better as I write this. Okay, first things first: the sister updates. Terri found a lump in her breast. She's not tickled and had a mamogram done and after she gets the results back next week, she'll go see a specialist who is supposed to be a cancer hot shot... She is just exhausted and doesn't know what to think or feel at this point. I want to scream and pound my fist in the wall. The easy way out is to say "why God are You allowing this to happen?" But I know better... this isn't God allowing this to happen. This is the enemy trying to attack our family and have us lose our faith. But I'm standing firm on my faith and believing that God is good and will give us the courage to stand in the face of adversity. Terri has had her pity party and now she is standing on her faith and is going to work during her chemo treatment. I think that's insane but she's just one hard nosed teacher... I'm glad she's got the determination... I just hope she has the strength.
As for Lou, as I said in a previous post: I've got my sister back. She is still over at rehab and they are going to work her butt off everyday. She's now got things to look forward to. Namely.... GOING HOME! That will be in about another week or so and I know she can't wait for that! It'll be a change. But she's up for it and she's back to her old self. The anti biotics are doing their job. I'm glad she's feeling better and is being her normal, cantankerous self... I saw her yesterday and we joked around a little bit and she was peppering me with questions about me and the gal pal... I felt like I was at a one person press conference because my family have become completely enamoured of my girlfriend, even though they've yet to meet her in person... I got to spend last weekend with her... and in one word.... amazing.... simply amazing. The profound differences in me since I've had her in my life... my family keeps asking me who am I and what did I do with their brother? lol... I am feeling pretty good as I get ready for the weekend. Lot's of broadcasting to do as i head to Holgate (OH) on friday, Chicago on saturday, and Peoria IL, on sunday... ugh... I think I need a nap...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Home (and rehab) Improvements...

Hi, sorry it's been so long since I've posted but I've had a ton of things to do. Namely, getting things going again for broadcasting sports and stuff plus running back and forth checking on the sisters. First things first. Thank GOD that things seem to be finally settling down with Lou. Even though she lost her leg, I've got my sister back. She was getting a little remorseful again about the way she had lashed out at me during the pre-amputation stay at the hospital. I finally just told her to let it go because I didn't take it personally. She wondered how I could do that and I told I've worked in hospitals for over 20 years and have seen every kind of confused patient there is. I didn't take any of what she said to me seriously so there was no reason for me to be upset. She was grateful and besides, I knew when it was her talking and when it was just the infection. Well, she's now out of the hospital and in rehab learning to get around again... I go and see her and am tickled that she's feeling SO MUCH better. She still has a few moments where she doesn't like to look down at where her foot used to be. But even that too, has gotten better. Her numbers from her cell counts for her battle with Leukemia have improved tremendously so I'm happy that Lou's got a lot to look forward to. She'll probably have a short stay at rehab (they're still giving her heavy doses of anti-biotics to make sure the infection is cleared up) and then they'll fit her for a prosthetic and Good Lord willing, teach her how to walk again in the very near future... Now the pendulum of big concern swings back in the direction of Terri. She's still struggling but is as tough a fighter as I've ever seen. Much tougher than I am... BY FAR. She's feeling better as the after effects of the chemotherapy are less, but still the progress for her has come not as fast (at least to my liking) but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day now was it? Thank you again so very much for the kind words and prayers... I sit here a very humbled person and a grateful one for all of you and your goodness and wish you all blessings galore... Thank you... :)

Humid Humor and the Rehab

Okay,
Haven't talked about all the little things that have gone on in the backround outside of dealing with my both of my sister's health conditions and believe me, there have been plenty. From Terri really hurting because of one of her students drowned at a quarry a couple of weeks ago, to the central air conditioning taking a deuce (aka crapping out) on the girls and part of Terri's instructions with the type of chemo that she's on is that she MUST remain COOL at all times. Of course, being off of work because of this means that she hasn't had steady income coming in so the cost of repairing the central air in her house would be a fortune. I didn't have the coin to do that either. But knew that I had to come up with something. Terri has a window air conditioner that was cooling the temp of the house and her bedroom from 102 to an artic-like 94 degrees because she has a pretty good-sized place. Well, when she stayed in her bedroom, it was bearable because the room is small and she had a big box fan as well that she kept right on her. But I knew that wasn't going to be good enough... so without giving it a second thought I pulled my a/c unit out of the window of my first floor of my house and hauled it over and installed it in the front of the house so that it (along with her a/c unit in the back) would cool the house considerably. So while I was at the hospital with Lou, I called Terri to check on her and it was a two-line conversation that told me that everything was going to be okay:

Me: "so is it any better or at least more bearable now in that place?"
Terri: "sorry, I busy right now... I'm building you a shrine..."

I nearly had my diet coke with lime come through my nose... Lou is doing sooooo much better than she was in prior days. She is going to be on heavy duty anti-biotics to get rid of the infection for a while yet. They took her off of some of the pain meds. In fact, the pain in her back is gone but she has the infamous 'phantom pain' so we'll see how this goes... She's been transferred to rehab services to work on getting her strength back and to deal with the loss of her leg and in about 4-6 weeks getting fitted for a prosthetic leg... She's looking forward to walking again and most important of all... to get out of this rehab place... She still gets a little confused at times but mostly she's scared because she's just had the leg amputated, doesn't know what to expect from a bunch of new faces (nurses, etc) and is now in another room and because I'm dividing my time between Lou, Terri, and work... I don't get much in the way of time for myself at all. But I knew it would be that way... hey, things are turning around and again, I'm very humbled for all of your prayers for me and my family. They really have done some wonders... That's how I've been able to have the strength to keep going and do what needed to be done with the sisters. I didn't do anything extraordinary. My sisters both set the standard of what a compassionate human being should be. Let's put it this way: for every nice thing I do for them, it's because they've done ten times more and were a lot more caring in the way they did it... Me, I'm doing it because I care, but more because I know it needsto get done... They are FAR more compassionate and understanding than their little brother. I appreciate the kind words, but I'm grateful more for my family than I am for me.

Lookin' Up

Cautious optimism is the approach I'm taking these days. My sister Lou had her leg amputated and she seems to have improved quite a bit. She still gets confused about things that happen. As to what is real and what she perceives as real. That she is able to lie there and not be writhing in pain is a miraculous blessing. It's made her slow emersion from la-la land tolerable and understanding. The biggest thing right now is that she is scared to be alone. She calls Terri at home about 10 times a day and wants to know why she isn't out there with her. She gets highly emotional about Terri not being there even though she seems to be aware of the fact that Terri just had a chemo treatment and is wiped out completely. Lou is very afraid right now. I go there after work almost everyday and spend lots of time there. But she wants someone there 24/7 cause she gets very anxious and wants someone there to calm her down... It's very tough and draining sometimes but I try to keep my sense of humor entact. Lou did sheepishly apologize to me for going off on me, thinking that there was some plot to keep her trapped against her will and she was very nasty and mean for the days leading up to the surgery. But the anti-biotics seem to be doing the job as her back has improved tremendously. Let's hope she'll keep it up.

Time To Rock, Time To Roll...

So it goes... I'm feeling kind of weird... It's been a real struggle the last few days. Lou is actually doing better. But she's still confused and a little bit disoriented. The docs made the big decision about her illness. The Osteomyelitis is originating out of her ankle and the bone is so severely infected, that the docs say there is no way to save her leg. So wednesday morning, she'll have it amputated. If there is one blessing out of this, is that Lou (prior to all of this) was aware she may have to lose her leg if it progressed in a negative way. So she was okay with that... But right now, she doesn't have a clue. I went to see her yesterday and she was frustrated and was trying to put her shoes on and wanted to go home. She was lashing out at me and was saying some incredibly venemous stuff and accusing me of plotting to keep her there against her will. Any and all explanations regarding her health issues went in one ear and out the other. They are trying to change some of her medication around which is a good thing. I noticed that she was so much calmer and relaxed when she was given some meds to calm down. But the problem was that they were giving it to her only every 12 or 14 hours. She needs it more frequently and after having to literally wrestle her because she was so wacked out on the weekend, the docs and nurses were more than willing to increase the frequency of what she needs. So tomorrow morning, her left leg gets amputated up to her knee. Terri undergoes another chemo treatment today and will be a complete mess for a few more days. She does not deserve this. But she knows that she has to wage this battle to survive and keep on going and that her students want her to be there for them. The new school year is getting ready to start and she wants to be a part of it. But it's going to be a difficult road. No question about it... As for me, I'm just hanging in there. It gets frustrating sometimes and there are times that you just want to quit and bail from all of this... but we don't have a choice. I still have to go to work and head over to check up on them and do what I can. It's not always alot, but I do what I can. The rest, I send it to my Creator. If I tried to do all of this by myself, I'd probably be in the psych ward trying to write strange things on my forehead... but by turning to Him, I'm able to at least find some peace in the midst of all this misery. He really gives me the strength to keep it together and go forward. The one other area where I am able to keep my chin up is with my gal pal. She has been my rock and has kept me going when I've felt any feelings of despair. She has been so encouraging and uplifting to me... She helps me stay focused and just by her warmth and tenderness, she makes me realize that I'm going to somehow pull through. I really love that girl y'know... :) I thank God every single day for her...

Scanning For Answers...

Looking forward to a Saturday off from the job. I have to go broadcast some motorcross on Saturday night. But more important stuff... Lou is still in the hospital, she is still completely confused and disoriented and it's beginning to worry me. The folks at the hospital at first thought that her baseline included dementia... when I politely informed the nurse that up until six weeks prior to admission, Lou was walking and talking and driving... HELLO... the nurses were shocked. I'm trying not to feel anger or throw in the towel, I just hate that when I see Lou lying there, she wants help and is scared beyond belief, but can't really communicate her fears or anything clearly. She just starts crying and it kills me to know that she is suffering like this. Terri finally broke down and went over to the hospital to see her, even though her doctor told her not to. Lou had to have a CAT Scan and an MRI but was not co-operating. Terri calmed her down and they were able to get the tests done. But Lou tries to get everyone to do things for her because she thinks that if she does certain things that maybe she'll get to go home. That can't happen because she is unable to take care of herself. Terri's still got four more months of chemotherapy... My attitude is still positive, but man, this is some heavy duty stuff...

Making Sense...

A new week begins... oh yippee.
Well, things seem to be figured out (maybe) with Lou about what's causing her such pain and misery... well, we think! The infectious disease doc that came to see her after she was admitted to the hospital took another look at her MRI that the pain management doc said was normal. The infectious disease doc said that she absolutely suffers from osteomylitis in the L4 and L5 lumbar region of her back and that it stems from a blood infection from her foot. Osteomylitis is an infection of the bone. It causes tremendous pain and the infection can cause you to act a little bit wacky. So they are giving Lou tremendous amounts of anti-biotics to try and combat it. They still may have to amputate her leg. But that remains to be seen. Hopefully, we'll find out more today and get a plan of action. Fortunately, the pain mgt. doc is on vacation so we won't have to deal with him. Sad really, because I've known him for years.
Anyway, on Saturday it was the mini grade school reunion as my buddy Billy and his wife Dani flew into town for his parents 50th wedding anniversary celebration. We've known each other since 2nd grade and the funny part is that we were not friends in grade school at all. But we got along in high school and became really good friends right after graduation. We've kept in touch since he moved out to California and we've grown very close and count each other as the closest of friends. His family here in town and I still keep in touch with each other too. There were a couple of other friends from grade school there too. Jeff and Robert. Jeff and I weren't close at all but he and Billy were/are so we know each other but don't really have a lot in common. No biggie though. Jeff seems to be a nice guy. Robert and I grew up together. From the time we were in diapers till about 8th grade. Our families were very close back then too. Robert went to a different high school than me so we kind of went our seperate ways. We would run into each other over the years but not too often. Life is like that sometimes. But whenever we see each other, it's as if we hadn't ever left. This weekend was no different. But then again, it was. Robert used to get into lots of trouble in his teen years, but that was then. I always had this judgemental stupidity in me that would say that more than likely, he was going to end up being a statistic. Booze, dope, the usual suspects. But here we are, all these years later, and Robert is clean and sober. Doing some big things at the company he works for and last year decided that he was searching for something meaningful in his life. He felt kind of awkward talking about it in front of the group at the party, but I could tell he was referencing that he has a relationship with God and is going to church now. Most of the people there were not spiritual in nature. But when he and I were helping to pack up stuff to put away afterwards, I could tell he wanted to share. So while we were standing outside at Billy's dad's truck, I simply asked "so, Robert, where do you go to church?" His eyes lit up and we had a very nice conversation about how he knew he needed something to help get his life back on track. and that he found it by reaching out and I could see the awkwardness leave him and we were having a great time just joking around and having good conversation. I think he may have felt that everyone would think that he was weird for his new found faith. I just said and he agreed that he found a 'home' where he can believe and be at peace with himself. Finding a fellow christian to talk to makes it a bit easier. Most of his friends now are at church but he still has a few friends from our old days. But most of them don't drink or get into trouble any more. I think of the four of us, I'm the only one who still has a cold one every six months or so. I never had a problem with it, but I lost the taste for it... But it was great to see the boys from childhood and see that we're all okay. We all have our own paths to travel, but we will always have each other's back when the chips are down. I love those guys. Billy and Robert are the brothers I never had... it felt good to spend time with them.