Time To Rock, Time To Roll...

So it goes... I'm feeling kind of weird... It's been a real struggle the last few days. Lou is actually doing better. But she's still confused and a little bit disoriented. The docs made the big decision about her illness. The Osteomyelitis is originating out of her ankle and the bone is so severely infected, that the docs say there is no way to save her leg. So wednesday morning, she'll have it amputated. If there is one blessing out of this, is that Lou (prior to all of this) was aware she may have to lose her leg if it progressed in a negative way. So she was okay with that... But right now, she doesn't have a clue. I went to see her yesterday and she was frustrated and was trying to put her shoes on and wanted to go home. She was lashing out at me and was saying some incredibly venemous stuff and accusing me of plotting to keep her there against her will. Any and all explanations regarding her health issues went in one ear and out the other. They are trying to change some of her medication around which is a good thing. I noticed that she was so much calmer and relaxed when she was given some meds to calm down. But the problem was that they were giving it to her only every 12 or 14 hours. She needs it more frequently and after having to literally wrestle her because she was so wacked out on the weekend, the docs and nurses were more than willing to increase the frequency of what she needs. So tomorrow morning, her left leg gets amputated up to her knee. Terri undergoes another chemo treatment today and will be a complete mess for a few more days. She does not deserve this. But she knows that she has to wage this battle to survive and keep on going and that her students want her to be there for them. The new school year is getting ready to start and she wants to be a part of it. But it's going to be a difficult road. No question about it... As for me, I'm just hanging in there. It gets frustrating sometimes and there are times that you just want to quit and bail from all of this... but we don't have a choice. I still have to go to work and head over to check up on them and do what I can. It's not always alot, but I do what I can. The rest, I send it to my Creator. If I tried to do all of this by myself, I'd probably be in the psych ward trying to write strange things on my forehead... but by turning to Him, I'm able to at least find some peace in the midst of all this misery. He really gives me the strength to keep it together and go forward. The one other area where I am able to keep my chin up is with my gal pal. She has been my rock and has kept me going when I've felt any feelings of despair. She has been so encouraging and uplifting to me... She helps me stay focused and just by her warmth and tenderness, she makes me realize that I'm going to somehow pull through. I really love that girl y'know... :) I thank God every single day for her...