Why I Don't Celebrate Birthdays...

Soooo...

Last Friday was another birthday that I wanted to ignore. Of course, I couldn't escape it because I was blessed to have family and some really nice friends (including a number of YOU FOLKS) that didn't let me ignore it.I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart. It did mean a lot to me. So one might be led to think that maybe my birthday was going to be a grand time with lots of fun and frivolity in various locales with food, fun, and laughter. Well, I went 0 for 3 however looking back at the weekend, I had to laugh so that I didn't go nuts entirely... I guess the best way to describe the birthday is to do a review in time lapse fashion so that you can appreciate (or better yet, laugh at) my plight. First, a little background. As you read in my previous post, I was preparing for an exhibition all-star football game that was going to be televised on local cable. We were also going to stream the audio live on-line. So everything is going along rather okay. Until I get a call from the co-founder (the other person of that duo is yours truly) of this little venture that we're trying to make successful. Since he handles all the production side behind the camera, he's got to make sure that all the parts and thing-a-ma-jigs are working. So he calls me on Thursday, the day before the game and tells me that his computer isn't working and that he needs me to bring my set up to the game on Friday so that we can stream the audio of the game on the net. I just switched over to a Verizon moble hotspot and so far it hadn't worked worth a turkey. So on Thursday I went to Verizon and showed them my contraption and told them I needed it to work and that I needed it the next day. The young kid behind the counter didn't want to upset me so he says “I will Fed Ex a new one to you overnight.” I tell my spazzed partner on the phone that I'm going to have it in my hands on Friday by no later than three. I should have known better... What follows are the chronological events of Friday... game day... my birthday...

6am: Wake up after a short night of sleep. Look outside at my car which is serving as target practice for the seagulls.

8am: Head over to the ATM since it was payday. Got a couple of nice texts wishing me happy birthday.

8:20 Drive to the car wash and wash all the bird turds off

8:30 Head to the donut shop to pick up some treats for the folks in the office.

8:32 Get a phone call from Mike as he freaks out about some production issues and I am resisting the urge to strangle him and I try to keep calm with a box of donuts in my hand. I set them down to try and rationalize with goofy...

9am: I arrive at work only to realize that I set the donuts down on the ROOF of my car and that said donuts are now strewn on Interstate 75. Just then, a bird flying over my car delivers me a personal birthday gift that he made himself.

12pm: I leave work early to go get a bite to eat and wait for the new mobile hotspot that was being Fed Ex'd overnight to my house by 3pm.

1pm: Begin to pack up everything that I needed including computer, tv monitor, headset, and what not...

2:45pm: Start to get nervous that Fed Ex hasn't shown up yet.

3pm: Still no Fed Ex.

3:30pm: I call Verizon and explain what's going on and they check the tracking number and tell me that it's not coming till Monday. I about give birth to puppies on the spot. The Verizon rep calls the store and tells them to give me a new mobile hotspot. He asks me to go the store (20 minutes out of my way) and bring my receipt to pick it up. I'm trying to contain my emotions as I have to be at the stadium by 5...

3:40pm: I pack up what I need to as I figure I can get over there by 4 or a little after and exchange it and test it on my laptop to make sure everything works.

3:55pm: Almost to the Verizon store when I realize I forgot to bring the receipt with me and at this point, I'm channeling the Menendez brothers as I spin the car around and head back to my house to pick it up.

4:10pm: I go in the house and grab the receipt, head over to the store, and eventually get there by 4:25...

4:25pm: I go into the store and meet the store manager and sales manager. I give them the paperwork and they give me a new hotspot. I test it on my laptop and it doesn't work. I'm dreaming of little Verizon voo-doo dolls and smashing them repeatedly in effigy. The manager tried to convince me that it was my laptop that was the problem until he tried to log on using HIS laptop and it didn't work either. At this point Mik... thy name is CUJO...

FIVE OCLOCK: I finally leave with another hotspot in hand. Mike is wondering where the heck I'm at. On the road, I'm processing everything that I need to do in my head when it dawns on me that I forgot the tv monitor back at the house. I'm ready to go Lee Harvey on everyone when I drive by a Big Lots. I drive into the parking lot and walk in and grab some batteries and see that they have a 15 inch flat screen tv for 79 bucks. I was so ticked that I bought it on the spot.

5:40pm: I arrive at the Stadium and Mike informs me that he got his set up running and that we won't need my computer system after all... I start to knit a voo-doo doll of a tv producer when he informs me that we wont be using the tv monitor for the replays. I spontaneously combust...

7pm: Kick off and we don't have everything put together but the show goes on and we get through it.

10:40pm: I send a text to the gal pal that I'm on my way home.

11:15pm: I hop on line to chat with the gal pal for the first time all day. Just long enough for her to wish me a happy birthday and for me to say I've got to get up in 4 hours for work at the daytime job. I eat a sugar free lemonade popsicle that I bought at the dollar store and go to bed...

1:30am: I finally doze off for a couple of hours and get right back up. And who says I don't know how to celebrate a birthday? Just keep the sharp objects away from me, that's all I ask...