Random thoughts from a random mind...

More musings...
Fort Wayne was GREAT. I never had so much fun in a town that I could care less about. I may actually stumbled upon a job opportunity while shopping there...
I know that Florida is the top basketball program in the land, by beating the Ohio State Buckeyes ... wait a minute, the Buckeyes beat themselves. I was so disgusted watching them play. So many missed shots. For Ohio State, the Georgia Dome, where the game was played, could've been called the 'brick house'...
After church yesterday, I went to eat brunch and at the buffet, a little girl was trying to 'play' with the food. She was trying to grab the grapes and eat them right there. A sly move by her older sister put a stop to it in a hurry. Older sister placed a jalapeno pepper in the grapes and about 15 seconds later, the little one left the grapes alone and went running back to the table where her mommy was... I was surprised and proud of big sister and laughed at her brilliance...
Haley and her parents stopped by the office after she was up having an NG tube put down her nose so they could pour the contrast down so they can see what the spot on her pancreas might be. Her dad told me it was 'sheer hell' for her. Four people couldn't even hold her down to get the NG down. Her dad had to do it. How freakin' awful that had to be. After they go the contrast in, they took the tube out of her nose and she settled down considerably. When she got to our office, she was just a chatterbox, going a mile a minute talking about anything and everything. With all of her hair cut off, Haley looks like a little boy. But she was full of energy today. What a trooper...
This Saturday, I make the transition from hockey to women's football. Yep, my heavy honeys are back. The Spitfire will start regular season play against Erie (PA) this weekend. To be kind and generous, the team tries hard to be competitive, but usually gets smoked most every game. The only team they've beaten in the last 3 years was Erie in the regular season finale last season. They've lost by scores such as 36-0, 66-0, 84-0, and 93-0... and yet they battle... and I'm still goofy enough to stay with them. Don't know why... it's not as energetic and exciting and fast paced as hockey, but I do it anyway...

An Odd Place To Be... Home!

Hey,
I'm sitting here in a very foriegn place... my couch! I'm used to being at work and then packing my bags for a road trip to broadcast sports. But since my team didn't make it to nationals, this weekend, here I be... I am not sure what I should do. I have spent most of the last two days sleeping. I am usually up tuning in 'fox and friends' at 6am and enjoying a good morning with Steve, Gretchen, and Brian... I decided that tonight I am going to drive over to Fort Wayne, Indiana and catch a Komets hockey game. I have never been to one and since I have the weekend off, hey- why not?
It's really odd for me to have this much time to myself. A couple of friends at work wanted me to spend the weekend doing normal 'guy' things... y'know... clubbing, all the other things that THEY do... I smiled and am opting for hitting the road for Ft. Wayne. Nothing wrong with what they do... They like doing their thing. I have no problem with that. I may take them up on it some time. But I just prefer to go out of town tonight to catch a hockey game and maybe sneak in a little golf... ahhhh yes, GOLF... my favorite four letter word! :) How could someone who loves golfing as much as I do be so incredibly horrible at it? ahhhh yes, GOLF...

Czechs and Balances

How do,
I am finally done with a boat load of games to broadcast this past weekend. I am happy to have been there, but man, I was so deprived of sleep over the last 5 days. Today at work, I got sick and I was supposed to go check out a movie tonight but cancelled that and went home to a much more glamorous dining experience: a chicken fingers TV dinner with a brownie that had the texture and depth of a hockey puck. It didn't really fill me up but the can of old barbeque flavored Pringles did hit the spot. I tried to fall asleep but here I sit and am catching up with emails and my friends journals/ blogs/ posts... etc...
The last two games I did last night were for youth hockey in Toledo. The '94 (birthyear) and '95 teams took on teams from the Czech Republic in some international matchups. It was so wonderful to watch the crowd get jacked up about the kids on both sides. The Czech kids came over to play some Detroit area teams and got to meet the Detroit Red Wings hockey team. They were from some town called Stratoniche (sp) which was about a couple hours away from Prague. Anyway, they played the Detroit area teams and came down on the last night they were going to be here to make their only Ohio appearance. After the games, the kids from Toledo and the Czechs all piled up and went to a dinner that the Toledo parents tossed. It was wonderful. I was sleepy and wanted to go home but knew that I had to at least put in an appearance. Well, I get there and head straight for the food. It was great. I had so much fun there and watching the 12 and 13 year-olds from two different countries break down barriers... just being typical kids. It was a riot. It should be duly noted that the kids from the Czech Republic are no different from our kids here when it comes to dealing with the language barrier... Both groups resorted to the same tactic when trying to break down various aspects of communication at it's most common denominator... they taught each other the curse words of each other's languages. Christian as I try to be, I couldn't help but smile and laugh out loud. Hockey players from two different countries and cultures showing that they have no problem in communication and didn't let anything stop them from having a good time together... I wish we adults were more like that...

Done for the season...

Ouch...
I guess that's all I've got the energy to muster right now. My Cherokee hockey club lost and were eliminated from the playoffs last night. I guess it didn't really bother me too much because absolutely no one gave us a chance and we beat Peoria last weekend to get this far. I was okay with things until I walked into our locker room. Then it hit me. Some of these guys I will never see again. They will go back to where they come from and move on with their lives. Some will tryout at higher levels next season and hopefully most will go to college and make something of themselves away from hockey. I saw a lot of hurt and tearful faces in the room. A couple of players always seem to touch my heart. Last year it was Jesper and Toby. This year, it was Tony and Z... Both didn't even try to hide their hurt at the season being over. I went up to each and didn't even stick a hand out to shake. I gave them each big bear hugs and both completely lost it. Tony will probably come back next year. He loves the game. As for Z, he has said he is done, even though he has another year of eligibility left. He's going to go back home to Chicago and get started on his life. I hope he changes his mind. But I get the feeling he'll be going to school and then make something of his life in Chi-town. Good for him. I gave a couple of hugs to a few others but mostly gave them handshakes. This time of year is always the hardest. It always means we part ways. The fond memories I have of the season that was... yeah, I enjoyed the hockey that was played. But it was the day to day doldrums of life on the road, that I miss and I'll miss this group of guys. I always got a kick out of watching them try and lay some weak lines on some of the girls that we came across both at home and on the road. They were pretty cool in that they would include me with the "hey Mik, ain't she hot? Or "whaddya think Mik?" I felt proud to be considered 'almost cool' enough to be one of the guys. But like I always told them "dude, when I look at a girl like that, the only thought that goes through my mind is 'gee, I wonder if her mom is pretty too?" Because I am OLD... I usually would keep to myself, but would joke around with the players and I really got a kick out of them. I'll miss them. I look forward to having some time to wind down. But I still have to broadcast the Hurster Cup Championship game today at 3:30pm and a couple of international youth games on Monday night. I look forward to some rest, but I still enjoy the insane schedule that I keep. It keeps me young... sort of.

Strangers and Friends... nary the two shall meet... sort of

Wow.
I guess that's about all I can muster right now. I've got sooooo much stuff running through my head right now. I am just trying to process everything and it's all information overload. We went to Peoria (a novel in itself) and came from behind to eliiminate the Mustangs two games to one in the best of three series. We start the Hurster Cup finals on Thursday. We play Flint on Thursday, St. Louis on Friday, and Dubuque on Saturday. If we can make it to the Championship game on Sunday, we will qualify automatically for the national championship tournament.
Anyway, I was all set to come home after work and grab some dinner and just clean the place up since I haven't been home much at all (except to catch a nap)... Well, I decide to go over to my dad's old place to check on it. I see a woman in the distance as I get out of my car and head in toward my dad's... I was getting the mail and was coming back to my car when this person yells across to me if I could give her a ride somewhere. Under normal 'Mik' conditions, I would've ignored her and said 'no' and leave quickly. Afterall, it's the hood and you don't know what can happen. But I looked her in the eye and many thoughts from a book I've read and re-read, entered into my mind. The book is called 'Lifestories' from Mark Hall, the lead singer from the band Casting Crowns. In this book, he doesn't talk so much about the crafting of the songs that are featured in the book, but rather the stories behind each of the tunes and how he was led by God to create. Some seriously unfair and tragic things happened and yet these people's faith came through and touched Mark's heart. He talked about trying and failing, sometimes dropping the ball when he had chances to let Christ's love shine through him. I thought about this as I saw this woman (I have to be honest, in my mind, she clearly appeared to be a prostitute). I looked in her eyes and you didn't need to be a doctor to see that she had a defeated, 'hard life' look to her. I didn't know what to do, but I swallowed and decided to show some faith in God. "Sure, I'll give you a lift", I said. She thanked me and flashed a pained smile, rusty from lack of use. I had some junk on the front seat of my car which I quickly moved to the back. I moved everything and as she sat down, I looked at her face, up close. She looked to be in her mid to late forties. She looked like she was a pretty woman at one time. But circumstances, some tough choices, and pain = miserable life. Sooo... with me doing all this judging here, even though I'm trying not to, I sat in my seat and pulled away and she did most of the talking. It was about a 15 minute drive to where she needed to be. She said she was doing a 'house clean job' for a guy. And was going to another 'house clean job' on the other side of town. I didn't tell her that it was in the general direction of where I was going. She asked me if I dated. I said 'no'. She asked me a few other questions and when I kept my answers in short, but generic terms. She was trying to size me up. "Man, you are smart!" she exclaimed. "Nah, I'm not better than you or anyone else..." was my response. She told me her life story about the hard knocks (with plenty of f-bombs thrown in to spice it up...lol) and how she has an 11 year old son to try and take care of. She talked about the struggles she had and how she had so little hope. I could sense the hopelessness in her voice. I just prayed to God on the spot to give me some words to say. Not that it had to be biblical quotes, but just to be understanding and to let His light enter her heart (or what appeared to be left of it). "So dude, how old are you?" she asked. "42? wow, you look great for that age. I would've never guessed that!" I didn't ask her how old she was, but I didn't have to. "Me, I'm 31 years old". It took every bit of strength I had not to have a look of shock on my face. She started talking about different aspects of her life and not having much to look forward to. My head was swimming. So I kept thinking about that book I read and when I wondered to myself what could or should I say? There's a song that Mark Hall wrote entitled "Love Them Like Jesus" where the idea is that when people go through storms in their life, I don't have to have all the perfect answers, I just need to be there and be supportive, but most importantly, love them like Jesus would. So when she noticed a book marker of 'The Cross In My Pocket' stuck in my dashboard, which was given to me as a birthday gift last year (thank you Riccie), I saw it as an opportunity. Instead of trying to dump a bunch of religious sayings on her, I just talked about trying as hard as I could to make good decisions and that even though I still screw up, my heart tells me I have to keep trying to do what is right. Even when no one else is looking. We chatted about positive attitudes. A little bit about faith, and I told her straight up about being able to say what she wants, but will live what she believes. I re-iterated over and over that I was no better than she was. She thought otherwise, but I told her that I still screw up and make mistakes. I stick my foot in my mouth, even though my intent was to try and say something good. I don't try to act like my stuff doesn't stink. Mark Hall writes about christians "I don't think the world minds that we sin... I think the world minds when we act like we don't". And as that thought came to my mind, I knew I had to build her up a little bit. So I tried talking to her in positive ways. Trying to love like Jesus would. When we pulled up in the driveway of her next 'house clean job', she kept saying that she wished she had met me before (she told me for 'dating' purposes)... I smiled at her, thanked her, but politely declined that offer... I looked at her, she had very bloodshot, teary eyes and thanked me. If I could venture a guess as to why I reached her it might be because I tried not to look at her and judge her. She's probably had a lot of that in her life. She didn't need that from me. And while I may have done that when she first asked for a ride, I left those thoughts on the road we drove away from and treated her as an equal. Because she IS. I wished her well and to keep believing in what the future can hold. And keep praying. And not to give up on life. I don't know if anything I said will stay with her, but I know it impacted me tremendously. It woke me up to how blessed I truly am. I can't ever act like I'm any better than anyone else, because when I looked at her, I saw myself (from my past) looking back at me. And that I am only one or two poor decisions from being there... But as someone who HAS been there, it really makes me feel grateful for the little things that I DO have now... namely Faith, Hope, and Love... they're the most important... This woman and I never exchanged names, didn't even ask each other for that matter. But I will never forget her, or what she did to strengthen my faith in God. I tried to love her like Jesus would. She taught me a whole lot more than I could ever hope to teach her...

Post Test(s)

How do,
Right now it's just a few hours till I head to Peoria, Illinois as the Cherokee head there to play the Peoria Mustangs in a best of three playoff series. We really want to win because the 'final four' playoff championship for our league is being held in Toledo this year. It would be strange to see the CSHL in our barn without us there. But not many folks are giving us a chance to beat the Mustangs. Some expect us to be swept. Some have us losing in three. Me, I like our chances. I honestly think we can win. If we can stay out of the penalty box, we have a good shot. I'll have the call tonight, and on Saturday night by going on the Cherokee website (the link is on this page up on your right) and click on the live audio link at 9:15pm ET and have a listen to me making a goof out of myself. Anyway...
Got to see Haley yesterday. She and her mom stopped by and Haley was sporting a haircut. Since she has been losing her hair because of the chemo, it was a no brainer. It looks more even now that it's short. She was supposed to have the test yesterday to find out if the spot on her pancreas is cancerous or not. Problem is, they can't this young lady to drink the contrast that is required for the test to be run. They've tried everything. So next time she comes back, they are going to have to sedate her and put an NG tube down her nose. This sucks big time. I am very disappointed because she is only three years old and it hurts to see her go through all of this. And now they're going to have to stick a tube down her nose into her belly and pour contrast in her. That's a lot to ask a little kid under normal circumstances. To face it with the possibility of more cancer lurking inside of her... geez that just plain whizzes... Sorry, just being a little protective of an innocent one... I am going to try and focus on the playoffs out of town and get ready to scream like a madman during each game... Peace...

A Little Angel...

Only a little girl this precious could get me to:
a) do a bunny hop around the office like a complete goof... and
b) sit on the floor and take a picture with her... (with my crappy cell phone camera)
Haley had to go get her blood work done so she and her mom stopped by to say hello. I was so tickled to see my little buddy. The pictures here don't really show how much hair she's lost because of the chemo... but she still has some energy and is so much fun to be around. I always make time for her. I just think so much of that little sweetheart... God Bless her...

Had a few minutes over at my sister and brother-in-law's so I started messin' around with my nephews and the only woman I can say I love and trust... My baby girl, Penney. The greatest dog in the whoooooooooooooole worrrrrld... there! do I sound like a five-year old now?

Full Moon Rising...

Forgive me if I seem to be a bit irate, but too much crap happening doesn't sit well with me. Mind you, I'm not mad or anything. But c'mon... My little part of the world is being tested right now and it doesn't make me happy. First, I'm sure you all know about the bus accident that happened down in Atlanta that involved a college baseball team from our area. Six people killed. Ugh. It really has shook up the Bluffton community. I guess I'm just annoyed at all the negative attention my corner of the world is getting these days.
Heard from Haley's mom today. She called to let me know that they admitted her to the hospital tonight. Don't know what is going on but she's running a high fever. She just had her last chemo treatment on Thursday. So I don't know what it could be. They weren't sure what was going to be done when I left, but I will be back there all day today (saturday) working so I'll make sure I go see her and spend some time trying to make her smile. I have to do that. When I see that little one smile, then I smile. I don't have children, nor do I want any, but I tell you what, this little kid has wormed her way into my heart. I absolutely hate seeing her go through chemo treatments, pain, nausea and vomitting, hair loss, etc,... I never let anyone get close to me like this before. I've always had the ability to reach the youth (mainly because I am, for the most part, a big kid myself)... However, I've always kept people at a distance. But there's something very special about this 3-year old little one. She has such an infectious smile. I sit and watch her come into the office and turn it upside down. Even my boss, who always keeps an eye on us to make sure we're all busy, will stop what she's doing and come spend all kinds of time with Haley. It seems like when I'm at my low points, she will pop in and light the place up. I think what it is that I love about this kid, is that I'm looking directly into the face of innocence. Before misery. Before pain. Before growing up. There, sitting before me, is a little kid who is going through sheer hell, but doesn't really realize it. Weak though she is, she still has some of the energy of your typical 3 year old. I guess that's why I am in such awe. She doesn't ever complain and it never occurs to her that this stuff she endures is not normal. She just doeswhat she has to do...
Well, tomorrow, the Cherokee will host their regular season finale vs Chicago at 3pm ET... we're honoring the detective who was killed in the line of duty. I'll be broadcasting the game online (audio only) and locally on television. But I've never done a hockey game where we're doing all that we're doing... all to benefit the family of the slain officer. I'm a wee bit nervous because I want to show the proper respect to the officer's family and yet remain true to the broadcast of the game. If you want, tune into the game and let me know how I did. Just go to the Toledo Cherokee website (click on the link over on the right side of this page) and follow the links to listen in on Sunday afternoon... Hmmm, after getting all of this stuff out of me has been theraputic, I am feeling a little better... Okay Mik, no more griping...

There But For the Grace of God... Go I...

It's been a blur around the Toledo area as of late. Last week (after my last post), the community was rocked to its core by the murder of an undercover cop. He was 35 years old and the kid that shot him down was 15 freakin' years old. He got wacked at about 4 in the morning. What in the world is a 15 year-old doing hangning out in the middle of the night? A truly senseless loss of life. They buried him today and they had to move it to a larger church because the one he belonged to was too small. The cop was a Toledo cop but lived a couple of miles over the border of Ohio and Michigan. That's how I am. I live a few miles over the Michigan - Ohio border, but still call Toledo home. But police from 35 states and Canada were represented. It was really sad. He leaves behind a wife and two kids aged six and four. The whole thing was televised on all the local TV stations... very sad.

In other news, I'm feeling a lot better. My voice is almost back to normal. My anti-biotics are finally working. I missed a couple of days of work including Wednesday. That day was Haley's final chemo treatment. When she came to see me and the co-workers, there was a surprise pizza party (with cake and ice cream) and she was totally floored. I was so bummed that I missed it. She was asking for me the whole time. I was not going to give her any germs with her immune system as compromised as it is... But she's supposed to come back for some more blood work to check her numbers so I will get to see her a couple of more times. I guess it tells you how important and precious life really is... When in doubt, love.

Heard from the nephew. He's going through sheer hell training to be a marine. He's 19, scared, and alone. But he's growing up and hopefully it will help him mature. I miss him right now though. It's really a dull world without him around here. But I'll see him in April when he graduates boot camp. Life... some survive it. Some throw it away, some appreciate it. Some are grateful for the opportunity... NEVER take it for granted...

This Video Says It All... We Live

Superchick - We Live

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Headlines...

Okay, I'm making it official... I'm officially filing papers to declare... that I'M the father of Anna Nicole's baby... And I shaved Brittney's head too... While I'm at it, about the JFK thing (I was a xygote... but a powerful one!) There, I feel better now... ugh!

I'm getting sick of what passes for 'news' these days. Okay, granted... most of it is political so that is enough of a reason to be turned off by all of it. The main networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN) and the print media, who do nothing but tear down this country and blame everyone on the right. The alternative media (Fox, Newsmax, Drudge, Talk Radio) who do nothing but rip the left and it's all negative to the point where I almost want to tune out what's happening. But c'mon people, there is some crap out there that makes the above comments I opened with, seem almost believable... especially the JFK assassination bit (hint: I wasn't born yet)... Examples? Here are some TRUE headlines...

"Stop Global Warming by Banning Beef Not Cars" Christian Science Monitor
"A Film Star in Kampala, Conjuring Amin's Ghost." (positive qualities of a brutal dictator?) NY Times
"Redefining Black" LA Times... Obama isn't "black enough" to get the support of the standing Black American leadership because of his White/Hawaiian/African (meaning NOT African American, but real African) heritage.
"Woman Allegedly Tries To Get Painkillers Under Her Dog's Name" AP

and my personal favorite:
"Canadian Man Suing Makers of 'America's Funniest Home Videos'" (apparently he mistook the title to mean 'north american') But can you imagine if it was to include 'north america' and we got videos from south of the border? It would be something like "Okay, here are some bloopers of some botched attempts to try and illegally cross the border. Call the kids in and let's have a laugh..."

And I'm not even going to mention about the Mexican illegals who are here, testifying against our border patrol who had the audacity to ACTUALLY DO THEIR JOB. And are now being prosecuted for it. I'm a proud American (of mexican descent) conservative, but even I think that the government has really dropped the ball on this one. Geez, we're giving the illegal meatheads immunity and are paying for them to be here, including free food and phone cards(???) But we can't give our troops a lousy phone card to call home with??? Now that really hacks me off big time. Why don't we give those illegal testifiers a Taco Bell gift card and a trip back across... Not a social security card, free hotel room for someone who smuggled illegal aliens and drugs TWICE across our border. Even they have the good sense to know that Taco Bell isn't real mexican food! I still eat Taco Hell though. It's just good fast food. I know, I know, I got sidetracked, but I'm trying to stay in a good mood...

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow...

Digging out from a mess...

Ahhhh winter is BACK! Don't know about where you're at but here on the Ohio-Michigan border, we got tatooed pretty good. When I walked out to my car in the wee hours of yesterday morning, the snow drifts were over the hood of the front and back end and I could not see the wheels of said auto. Yip, yip, yippeeee. I finally got to work (via security dept.) about 2 hours later. With what should've only been a 20 minute ride, I got to work and sat down as we got slammed but good. Lots of people needing help with various issues that come along with a level 3 snow emergency. What that means is that non-emergency personnel were banned from driving on the streets within the county (including all cities and towns within that county). In the outlying areas, outside of Toledo, a number of roads were not passable. Accidents everywhere. Throughout the day, the roads were cleared pretty well, but ice became an equally primary concern and added to the fun and circus like atmosphere... I made it home late last night after a cozy 15 hour day to see the snow drifts (hey, it got all the way up to a warm and balmy 14 degrees) still entact and the added dimension of the snow plower having added more snow to surround my car. Oh joy, I am beyond tickled... ahhh sighhh... The easy thing would be to get hacked off, but to honest, I don't have the energy and it just isn't worth it. I walked to the pizza place next door and the carryout down the street and it was 'pizza and beer' night in chateaux Mik... One cheese pizza and one beer later, I was falling asleep in front of my computer so I turned in early. Today (a day off from work), I get to spend it digging my car out. Or as I like to refer to it as... 'my annual cardio stress test'... should be interesting

When Life Sucks... There's Hope!

Seventh Day Slumber - Caroline

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Getting (Flint) Stoned on My Mom's Birthday

Feeling a little surley tonight. The Cherokee took it on the chin this weekend as we were dealt two huge losses by Flint. A 7-3 blowout on Saturday night and a 3-2 heartbreaker on Sunday. I got home on Sunday night feeling more relieved than anything. The players couldn't shower after the game on saturday night at the rink because the pipes had frozen and there was no hot water. So they hopped on the bus and we all headed back to the motel to let them get showered and go get something to eat. Well, some of the rooms at the motel didn't have warm water either. I think only twice when I flushed my toilet, did the water actually go down. And it had nothing to do with the mexican food I ate for supper... I'm such a dork!
Anyway, today would've been my mom's birthday. So I say happy birthday mom. I don't write nearly as much about her as I have my father. But I think it's because she passed when I was a freshman in high school and that was many years ago. But that doesn't take away from the fact that she did have a lasting impact on my life. At first, in a very negative way. My mom had emotional issues. After she passed, I had a very negative view of her. She had a temper the likes I've never seen and a mouth to match. She could make a sailor blush. I think I picked that aspect of her behavior up early in my life. For the longest time, I used to blame her for a lot of the failure I had early in my life. It was a convenient escape. But I chose to feel that way. I learned that behavior and thrived in it. It wasn't until I found out about her childhood that I realized how childish and stupid I really was. Her childhood made mine look like an episode of the Brady Bunch. It was horrible. Very horrible. I know that my childhood was pretty nasty, but compared to hers... no comparison. The fact that she survived and was able to love and find something resembling a life, is nothing short of miraculous. I am always reminded of my favorite mom memory. She had just been down at the neighbors in the middle of a heated arguement. She comes back home, just a little ticked off to say the least. The neighbor later that afternoon, has a nervous breakdown and ends up being transported to the hospital. My mom goes over to the neighbor's house and starts making tortillas and other food for the eight kidsthat our neighbor had. They asked her 'why' since they argued earlier in the day. My mom didn't even blink an eye and explained how insignificant that disagreement was and how important family is at times like this. When my mom passed, that family was right there grieving with us... My mom touched a lot of people even though she had a rough life. When I feel challenged by the crap that goes on in my life these days, I think of others and draw inspiration from them to keep a good attitude. Today, I'm thinking of my mom and I know that she did the best she could under very trying circumstances. But it's okay. Mom, you did good... you did real good. I'm proud to say you were my mom... and thanks for teaching me about what's good in the world and to look for the good in people. Happy Birthday... love you lots...

Hitting the cultural rocks... Flint stones...

Just staring at a blank screen in the hope that words will somehow magically appear with some clever, witty, and totally absorbing entry. Okay, back to reality... yawn!

My throat is killing me which is like a death knell for a guy who uses his voice for a living. I have done hockey and basketball all week plus working the day job. My voice is shot. I've got to get it together cause this weekend, the hockey team heads up to Flint for the showdown for first place. Two huge games, Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. I am really psyched up for that. It's going to be huge and I know a LOT of people will be listening online so I hope to be ready. Fans of Cherokee hockey know that Flint will be the focal point in the CSHL this weekend. Flint as in Flint, Michigan. I'm underwelmed when it comes to thinking about the idea of having to spend a weekend in Flint, Michigan. Flint is a microcosm of Detroit, only more depressing. Flint is devoid of any real culture... unless you consider breaking into a hotel room to catch your boyfriend 'in the act' a real cultural experience. That actually happened last time we were up in Flint. Some local woman tried climbing into some person's (hint: it wasn't her boyfriend's) room... I also am not a fan of Flint because even such a simple activity like shopping is so depressing. I go to a mall and look at the people and they look so defeated. Like they look forward to the relief that death will bring... Yeah, that depressing. It's like Neil Young could write his next album here... yeah, THAT depressing... I think this time around I'm going to spend my downtime up there in my room with plenty of movies (upbeat stuff) and serve my penance until I get home Sunday night... yep, THAT depressing...

Taking Stock Of What Matters...

As we head into the weekend, I'm just in a mood of gratitude... I'm dealing with a severe sore throat, a slight temp, a bit of nausea... hey, maybe I'm pregnant! Heard about my little buddy Haley's scan yesterday. They found another spot near her pancreas. They are not sure if it's more CA or if it's scar tissue. She refused to take the contrast so the docs could tell. But next time she goes in, they're going to sedate her so that they can administer the contrast and find out what she's dealing with... Yeah, I'm nervous. And I'm not even a blood relative. I can't stand that this is happening to a three year old girl. But y'know what? If she and her mom and dad aren't going to say 'why Haley?' then why should I? I flat out love that little kid. She is such a bundle of joy whenever I see her. She never complains, and is always looking forward to seeing people... including me. She and her folks stopped by the office the other day and I wasn't in... she kept looking around and finally asked "mommy, where's the boy?" When they told me what she said, I wanted to laugh, but I kinda wanted to cry too. It's times like this where my faith in God can come under a challenge. I mean, some people might want to say: "why did God let something like this happen to such a sweet adorable child?" It would be easy for a person to question why God would allow bad things to happen to good people... If I tried to write about my friend Candi, I'd be here writing for days, trying to describe how amazing that woman is and why she not only has my deepest respect, but why she has become a hero I look up to... But that's where my faith in Him has to decisive and firm. First, believing in God does not mean peace FROM difficulties, but peace DURING difficulties. God is not a little old man who acts like a warlock and can cast spells to get at bad people on an as needed basis. God has given ALL of us a very tremendous gift... the gift of FREE WILL. He doesn't force us to believe in Him. We can completely walk away from Him if we so choose. Those of us who choose to believe, must understand that it is HE whom we honor. He whom we give ourselves to. And how is the best way to display how we should honor Him? Easy. By how we treat others. I don't need to be some holier than thou holy roller. I need to serve others and treat them with compassion, respect, dignity, and love. He says: "when you do unto the least of these, you dounto Me." So I CHOOSE to feel gratitude in times of worry and pray and stand on my faith that God's will (not mine) be done. As screwed up an individual as I am, I believe that while I have a list a mile long of wants, needs, and desires, at the end of the day, I prefer to believe that there is a loving God who knows what's best for me and can save me from myself. Faith by it's very definition is choosing to belive even though I don't have all of the answers. And I have to be okay with that. Otherwise, why have faith. If I had the all of the answers to every question, heartbreak, and disappointment, why would I need God? Fact is, I DO need him and I hope to be a better Christian. Not a religious person, but a Christian. There IS a difference. I want to be more helpful to my fellow man. It's people like Haley and Candi that have been such an inspiration to me when my faith has been tested and at it's weakest. And friends like Mike, Riccie, Dan, and Tina have been good friends to me here and have been there when I've needed them. So yeah, I feel more like expressing gratitude instead of worry and doubt. I am BLESSED... Yep!

It's Thursday... Oh Yippee... zzzz...

In the proverbial words of Fat Albert: Hey, Hey, Hey!
It's another day of bitter cold here on the lake but I guess it had to get winter-like sooner or later. My little buddy Haley stopped at work to see us yesterday. I couldn't even hide my smile and giddiness. She really is a blessing to all of us. Her and I were playing 'hide and seek' and I think she even got me to do a silly dance. She wouldn't do a ballet dance move (she takes intro to ballet) and I'm like this overgrown ape just trying to do the move and she is laughing hysterically at me. Of course, everyone in the office is completely enamoured of her. So she walks out of there with tons of candy and doll stickers, etc... She had to undergo another chemo treatment today. That is pretty rough on her. But I think it is worse on everyone else because to watch a three year old girl go through this and see her with a weak smile and lose some of her hair, it is very sobering. But she still is able to have the strength to keep going. Her mom told me that she saw the lady that was going to administer the chemo and Haley ran up to her and gave her a big hug and a kiss... Like I said before, I'm just a silly fool for whining about what minor troubles or problems that I have. What I have pales in comparison to watching others. And the greatest thing is that I notice how there is no complaints, whining or any 'why me?' type attitudes. I get humbled every time I see such courage. It's more courage than I could ever hope for...

Something To Think About

Casting Crowns - Does Anybody Hear Her

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Giving Thanks

Looking back through time when I was a kid
I think about all of the stupid things that I did
And how I hurt You

I thought I had the world in the palm of my hand
But the truth be told, I really didn't understand
The way I hurt You

There's nothing I can do now, to change the past
Wishing won't make it go away I thought the die was cast
But then there's You...

So here I am all these years later and You're still here
Only You know where I've gone, feeling shame and fear
Yet that didn't matter to You

You still took me back with Your outstretched arms
And forgave the pain I inflicted and all of the harm
How can I ever thank You?

I don't know what I did to deserve a second chance at life
Never thought I'd live to be this old, much less be so alive
And it's all because of You

Thank You for giving a broken person another chance to live
I still make mistakes but You're still quick to forgive
Instead of denying, I Honor YOU

Thanks for not giving up on me when I wanted to fall apart
I don't know how else to say what's inside of my heart
I Love You

A life changing greasy cheeseburger...

Here we are on Sunday, the proverbial day of rest. I'm on the road. I'm in Cincinnati, and I really have enjoyed myself this weekend, and I'm by far, a changed person. Okay, I'm not going to shave my head and join the moonies... oops, I did shave my head but I'm not joining the moonies... okay, NO CHANTING! lol... Anyway, I had some extra time and went down over the border and I met a friend of mine down in Kentucky for lunch. She and her father were simply amazing. She suffers from a disease called Freidrich's Ataxia, which affects her speech and some of her motor skills, including having to get around in a wheelchair. But it does not dampen her spirit. That's what floored me. When the two of them popped into the restaurant, she struggled to stick her hand out to shake my hand. I didn't want shake her hand too hard. But she just went on with talking to me as if it were no big deal. That's because to her, it wasn't. Her dad was such a great guy. I hit it off with him immediately. We spent a couple of hours together and I went with them and visited a center where they do ministry outreach for some of the less fortunate. They are the most unassuming people I've ever met. I was rocked to my core. I never seen someone who has such struggles, serve as such an inspiration to others. And she considers her physical challenges an honor and a blessing from God to be able to help and serve others. I get whinny and annoyed if I can't sleep. How could I ever complain when I see people like her and know that she is able to do so much more than I ever could, and under the most difficult of circumstances and do it with such joy? Earlier this past week, I was a little complacent and complaining about what I thought were the challenges of daily life. I have learned from a little girl with cancer, and a woman with freidrich's ataxia, that what I face is so minimal and insignificant with what these girls face. Y'know, it says in the Good Book that God uses the foolish to confound the wise... I think in this case, it was the other way around. He used the wise to confound this foolish person... I sit here in awe of some amazing people. And I mean it when I say I am in awe of these people. My heroes were always people in my profession and of course the Big Man upstairs. He continues to be. But I think that the ones here on earth have been replaced by a three year old and a woman in a wheelchair who can do and say more with one incredible smile, than I could ever do working for hours and hours. I can't tell you how blessed I am...

A Matter Of Perspective...

Sometimes I must admit, when I get down on myself, I silently hope that God will give me a nudge to jumpstart my attitude. I was feeling a bit blue the other night when I was writing about my nephew heading off to camp and not saying c'ya. I had all of those thoughts that go through your head at times like that... what IF? I knew I had to let go of those thoughts and remain focused on the objective- to make sure he becomes a Marine, a man, and comes home safely (preferrably in one piece). I had those wacked out thoughts in my head but got snapped back to reality... at work of all places. I, sitting there like a bump on a log, when in stops the neice of one of my co-workers. She and her husband bring in their 3 year old daughter to get chemo and be treated for a tumor on her kidney... and she's only three freaking years old??? I stopped complaining and feeling sorry for myself right on the spot. Haley is such an adorable bundle of joy and has such an infectious smile that I can't help but smile and laugh when she starts singing and dancing around. She's quite an inquisitive little one and I gave her some candy when she was leaving and after her mom told her to 'say thank you', Haley walked over and high fived me. I couldn't believe that this little 3 year-old sweetheart could have an impact on me. I've always had a bitter anger towards cancer because of what it has done to my family. I've lost virtually all of my mom's side of the family and a number of (and including) my dad's. I lost him a year and a half ago. I've got a sister with leukemia, and another sister who is trying to recover from the ravages of ovarian... The easiest thing to do is to feel sorry for myself. But I CAN'T. Under NO circumstances can I allow myself to get down about life or the people in it. There is way too much in life to live for and look forward to. I need to appreciate and treasure life because as unexciting and lousy as it can get sometimes, there are lots of people who would give anything to trade places with me. And it took a little 3 year old girl who is fighting for her own life to bring that point home to me..
Well, I'm on the road right now... heading to Cincinnati tomorrow for a pair of games and then it's back home to start another dull week of work... and I am blessed to look forward to it...

Das Boot (camp)

I'm sitting here kind of quiet. My nephew left for the Marines. I'm sort of quiet about it because we haven't talked except when we said hello to each other in passing back at Christmas. He's been trying to live it up after high school and took some time for college but decided to enlist. I think it was because he felt he was going nowhere here. He was beginning to really give my sister a lot of lip and didn't want to listen to her or follow her rules. Part of me was surprised, but another part of me is glad because maybe he'll realize how good he had it at home. Of course the downside of this is that he'll probably end up having to go into battle. I've always admired and proudly heralded the military and especially their families for their sacrifice. I am only slightly worried about his future and where he might end up going. I was always supportive of our troops and this action. I am even more so now. My only prayer is that God keep my nephew protected and safe from all phyisical and emotional, and spiritual harm. And that the Marines help him grow up...

Who said small town life was boring? zzzz...

Can you imagine how much fun life would be if we all were exactly the same? Nah, me either. I had some fun the other day when I was wearing a tie-dye t-shirt and it was a Cherokee t-shirt but the person that noticed I was wearing it thought I was a Grateful Dead fan... aka... a 'deadhead'... depending on whom you ask, some might consider me a deadhead... as in dead from the neck on up. :) I'm still chuckling over that one. The girl that noticed it asked if I was a 'Dead fan... I said 'no' and asked why. "Because you have tie-dye on." In the infamous words of a personal hero... Bill Engvall- "Here's your sign."
Woke up this morning to freezing rain. After all the mild weather this winter in the midwest, my town turns into an outdoor skating rink. Speaking of rinks, the Cherokee took two games this weekend to move up into second place. So yes, I am in a pretty good mood...

Off and Running in '07

Sorry it's been a while since I've added an entry. I have been ridiculously busy. I have had so much going on away from the work stuff. The usual crap. Work, travel, minor emergencies, dumb things that go oops in the night. Oh, where to begin. I don't know. I just know that work right now is a pressure cooker... two people on leave (because of cancer) and another quit and we are working short handed and my schedule has gone upside down. But sometimes, it gets a little weird... and other times it can be downright humorous... exhibit A:

Me: "hi, can I help you?" (answering phone)
Caller: "yeah, I wanna talk to my mom"
Me: "um, is she a patient or does she work here?"
Caller: "yeah she's a patient!" (then mumbles under her breath... "what an idiot!")
Me: Okay...
Caller: "Okay WHAT?"
Me: "well, um, what's your mom's name?"
Caller: "Oh, uhhh, Disney"
Me: "Disney, how is that spelled please?"
Caller: (heavy sigh) "DISNEY... like Walt Disney... D-I-Z-N-Y"
Me: (trying not to laugh) "um, is that her first name or last"
Caller: Oh **** this! (hangs up)
Me: (thinking to myself) "well, now I can say that I know someone who didn't get 'Hooked On Phonics' for Christmas"

A Look Back... A Look Ahead...

So as 2006 comes to a close, I would normally do a month by month look back at what happened in the last 12 months. However, I started the year hurting pretty bad and ended it pretty happy. So instead of all the rehashing, I am going to look back at a few lows and highs and comment on the overall of where I am at these days. Of course '06 saw Tanner's suicide, Steve being killed by a drunk driver and Greeds heart giving out just before Christmas in '05. Not alot of positive stuff. It still is a bummer. The obvious low point for me was that the girl who at the time I wanted to spend my life with, bid me adieu under very 'peculiar' circumstances. In January, I went to her apartment twice in the beginning of the month to leave food at her front doorstep for her and her son. I had a key to her apartment, but since I was looked upon with disdain by her, I never did anything more than leave food there at her doorstep without trying to talk to her. It was at that point that I had to make some difficult decisions about this person. She was accusing me of some pretty nasty garbage, not realizing we still had/have mutual friends. I had to decide if all of this was worth it... Six years of trying, only to discover some lies, deceit, and drama queen behavior that I wasn't prepared for. The worst of all of this mess led to the road that gave me the highest of highs. I finally discovered a number of reasons that I HAD to let go and really stand on my faith. So last winter/ spring, I did just that. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it was soooo worth it. I couldn't do it alone and the help of some good friends really opened my eyes to some things and it made it so much easier to let go of that stupidity that was the waste of time the last six years posed. Since then, she has yet another guy and moved in and now is going to be getting married to him. A year ago, I probably would've been devistated. Today, I find the whole thing laughable and am so grateful that I am no longer a part of that mess. Instead of bitterness, I choose to take the high road and wish her every happiness and success in her future. And thank God that I'm not a part of it...
Since summer, I've been trying to stay focused on what is good and take a much more positive approach to life. It hasn't been easy. Watching a couple of my sisters' health start to slide has not been a lot of fun. But their attitudes have been inspirational and watching them display joy at some real low points fueled my resolve to be a better Christian and show it more by action and not by words. I guess the thing I have discovered about myself and about life, is that there will always be more questions than answers. I don't have answers to a ton of questions that I have. But that is why I have faith. I believe that even though I don't have any answers to questions about many things that have happened in my life, I have come to the point where I choose to accept that I will never know all the answers and I have to be okay with that. It allows me to let go of some things and be able to move on... more importantly, to move on and be happy. That is one of the best things to happen to me. I look forward to what 2007 will bring. I look forward to those of you who read this group of little blurbs from time to time, stopping by again and saying hello. I don't know what the new year will hold, but I am going in with child like eyes, optimism, and hope... To all of you, friend and foe alike, I wish you the very best that 2007 has to offer... God Bless...

Do You See What I See?

Some weird things I've seen in the last couple of days while out either working or going to the store shopping or a whole variety of things...
First, I saw a baby Jesus in the manger scene outside of a funeral home. It was a full sized one and it was right in front of the mortuary. Took up most of the front lawn.
Second, Someone on the other end of the phone calling their kids some four letter words and then when they realized that I had answered, changed their tone completely to that fake, over nice "oh how arrrrrrre yooooou?" Made me want to tiger-chunk...
Third, I saw a sign that said 'Jesus is the Reason for the Season'. Not out of the ordinary at this time of year. But at a Kentucky Fried Chicken???
Finally, another manger set-up. This one took the cake. It was in a bar I stopped in to get a bite to eat. I sat down, ordered some chicken, turned to my right, and did a double take as I saw the three wise men, Joseph, Mary and the baby Jesus in their usual display, only this time instead of an animal barn, they were brought to us by the fine folks of Miller Lite. I sat there with my jaw agape, and didn't make heads or tails of the whole thing... they were part of a beer display??? No wonder I don't drink that watered-down, moose pee from Milwaukee. I'll never move up there because it's socialist, but when it comes to quality brew and respect for the season, I'll tip my hat to the Canadians anytime... Hope you finished your Christmas shopping... I'll begin mine tomorrow... gotta luv it!

Went to a fight and a hockey game broke out...

Trying to wake up to type this entry...
I'm just a little bit sluggish as I am home from work and having done my 3rd Cherokee game in less than 48 hours up in Taylor, MI which is just outside of Detroit. Me, I'm a little whipped from juggling my work and broadcast schedules. Plus getting church in there which I did, and that meant that I had no down time to speak of. Of course, after what happened last weekend, I had to be at the rink to see how things were going to go. Last weekend, we played Dubuque. They beat us fair and square 5-2... no big deal there. But with about 25 seconds remaining, one of their guys turned up ice with his head down and got knocked into next week on a clean hit by one of our guys. It was a clean hit, but they didn't like it. Watched the replay several times and it was the same conclusion. Clean hit. But they decided to mix things up a bit. On the ensuing face off, the Dubuque coach sent his cement head tough guy out and as the puck was dropped, his tough guy didn't even look at where the play was... he charged down the ice with the express purpose to take out our goaltender. A wild melee' ensued and there was all kinds of crap that happened. They thought that they could 'send a message' by trying to muscle us up, but one problem: Our tough guys beat the living crap out of theirs. Not because we were trying to goon it up. Not at all. But because we had to protect our goaltender and the players stood up for each other. Well this weekend was a tournament showcase where all 14 teams in the CSHL were in Taylor to play hockey against each other (each team had three games fri-sun) and were being scouted by higher level leagues and some colleges. The Dubuque guys (about 4 of them) came by but said and did nothing. Their coach was suspended for five games. He peaked out at our game, looked at me and I looked at him and nothing else came of it. He went back over to the other rink to watch his team's game from the cheap seats. I'm still pretty hacked off about the gong show that was Dubuque. The kid that tried to take out our goalie received suspensions that amounted to him being gone for the rest of the regular season. It was pretty intense there for a while... We won two of the three games we played this weekend so we head into the Christmas break on a high note.

Why? Why Not?

Sometimes, I wonder about the chaos that can go on in the world. Then I think about life in my world and while at times I question and can get a bit agitated by what can happen, I know that there is a reason and purpose behind most everything. Even when I don't understand. And that's where it can get difficult. The part about accepting that I don't understand everything that happens but knowing there's a purpose behind it... As we come up on what is for most folks, the happiest and joyful time of the year, I wonder why some of the most painful memories people experience are at this time of year. I think because at it's basic core, Christmas is supposed to represent love and a safe, secure place for us to let our guard down with those we hold dear. Anymore, we have done so much to change the face of Christmas. We have done so much to secularize Christmas. And I'm not talking about trying to make it this holier than thou religious event either. I don't think that was what God had in mind. (I'm not arrogant or smart enough to pretend that I know what God wants. I'm just opining) In my silly mind, I choose to believe that We are supposed to take stock of our lives. Despite the hard times that life can throw at us, I think we're supposed to discover what is actually right in our lives (even if it's not a lot) and be grateful. The 'love' that we're supposed to feel at this time of year can come back to bite us in the butt if we don't allow it to grow in us. If love isn't growing, it's dying inside of us. I think that is why some people get so depressed and miserable. Some to the point of wanting to end it all. My take: simple... some people realize how much they miss the love and security of their past and feel like they can't ever get that back. But it doesn't matter how awful life can be to us. Whether pain, misery, physical or emotional loss of a loved one, illness, lonliness, we all have a purpose. Even if we may not always be sure what that purpose is, rest assured, we have one. There's an old saying about enduring the hardness of life that says "let your test be your testimony". Losely translated, endure it so that you can serve as hope to others who don't know how they are going to survive their own private hell... I just hope that no matter how little, we can all find something to be grateful for... I, for one, am grateful to all the friends (and a few enemies too... lol) that I've made here in the cyber-world. I've had some that have not always appreciated my intentions in the past. But I don't think much about the past anymore. For the first time in many years, instead dwelling on past failures (believe me, there are soooo many), I choose to focus on the small successes. The little (almost insignificant) things. My life is much more enriched now because of the small things that are good. That includes people I've met and continue to meet. I am truly blessed...

Just Exactly What Is Christmas?

Just thinking about church last sunday... It was about what we remember about Christmas in the past. I don't remember a lot but I remember a few things. What were the circumstances for our parents? Were things 'really' as we recall them? Chances are not, but yet we choose to attach fond sentiments to those memories because they are Christmas. So getting a talk on how tough Christmas really was (especially that first one) really opened my eyes. If you care to see the sermon itself (even if you're not religious in nature, it gives you some things to think about) you can go to our church website and pull it up from the archives and watch it... It makes me appreciate what this season is supposed to be...

Looking Back To Take a Step Forward...

So it goes...
Hope y'all are having a good time getting ready for Christmas. Me, it's been a busy time to where I haven't had too much time to shop... At least I'm not shopping for clothes (hi Rebecca)... My weekend was a little weird. Got invited by a couple of friends of mine to go see their daughters basketball games. One with the freshman team, the other junior varsity. They both play for the same high school across town where my ex girlfriend's kids go. For about 12 seconds, my thoughts were going back to thinking the way I used to: what if she's there. Will she think that I have an agenda for being there somehow... after all, she's accused me of lots of things that weren't true... just really stupid thoughts going through my head from the past. But things have changed. I decided that when I go to those games now, I DO have an agenda: to go watch my friends' daughters play. I went to the games and when I first got there, I had an odd thought about what I'd do if I ran into her there... I started chuckling because I'd probably look at her and laugh. I think that is part of having let go... before I had been hurting... and now I am laughing when I think back about what used to be. Yikes! am I glad that I've moved on... Anyhow, I had an absolute blast watching the girls play... in fact I think I made more noise than their moms did... we were laughing and joking around and had a great time. As a matter of fact, one of the daughters called me tonight to thank me for coming out to the game and how really glad she was that I was there. I was genuinely touched. After the first 12 seconds, I didn't think about anything else but having fun with my friends... and now, instead of wondering about other useless things, I look forward to seeing the girls play hoops when my schedule allows. So yeah baby, I'm feeling pretty good...

Up In Smoke...

This week saw my favorite restaurant just down the street go up in flames. I was stunned when my wacky friend, who works there, called me at work to tell me about it. I couldn't believe it. About 5am one of the other girls who was coming in to work there arrived to see flames inside the dining room. She called 911 and it has been determined that it was a case of arson. That really whizzes. The family that owns the restaurant lives 40 minutes away. They arrived and were in a complete daze. No one could believe it... All of a sudden, the girls were temporarily out of a job. No insurance... nothing. I'm going to help my friend by putting together a care package for her. To make sure that she and her kids have a Christmas. She said her family is going to help her out too. So that's cool. But still, to see your livelyhood disappear without warning, even if only temporarily... No chance to prepare, no chance to find something else before your job is yanked... I don't know about you, but I'm counting my blessings... no matter how wacked out my life can get...

Post Turkey Turds...

Ohhhhhhhh Burp!
Hope everyone had a wonderful turkey day. Me, it was pretty neat. I woke up early and on my way to work on Thursday when I got the sudden brainstorm to stop at the Meijer's store which was open and packed on Thanksgiving morning at 6:30am. Nice to know that I wasn't alone when it came to last minute shopping. My purpose was to pick up a veggie tray and some soda to take into work for me and my co-workers. Well, as I walk right past the veggie trays and head for the soda pop aisle, I end up at the frozen food section. In that aisle, I noticed a number of boxes stacked up that didn't look like frozen food products of any sort. Instead, they were surround sound home theatre systems for $59... They were part of a two hour, Thanksgiving day only event. Thank the Good Lord that I had some money in my wallet. I snatched up that up in a hurry and grabbed some 2 liters of soda and got in line with the throng of other brainiacs that got up on a holiday morning to get things cheap... and of course after I pull into the hospital, it dawned on me that I forgot to get the veggie tray. Oops!
Anyway, after work, I went to spend time with the family. We had a pretty nice time together. Ate healthier than I normally would on turkey day. We played $100,000 Pyramid. Me and my nephew dominated on that one. Although as much as I love him, he is not the most worldly and knowledgeable person on the planet. Neither am I, for that matter. But we made it work. After leaving there and going home, I had every intention of going to bed early and going to the early sales for 'black friday'. The problem was that I remembered that I had bought the little home theatre system and I was so excited about it that I tore down my other one which was comprised of old speakers that were more accustomed to blaring out old Kiss and Led Zeppelin LPs than digital audio of dvd's, mp3's, or satellite radio. So in all my excitement and desire to install the little speakers etc, and fire up everything to make sure that it all worked, I forgot to look at the time. It was 3 o'clock in the bloody a.m!!! So trying to be the "I can do it... no problem" brainiac, I figured about 90 minutes of sleep and I could be up and at 'em and to the stores by five... That's the last thing I remembered.I woke up friday morning at 9:45 and got up for good at 10:30... ahhh such is life!

Faith, Hope, and... the 1st day of Christmas shopping

I'm currently reading a book called 'Second Guessing God'... Here's a condensed quote that got my attention and hit me like a ton o'bricks... "My faith in God is like a walk on the beach and I've taken off my shoes and am standing at the water's edge, the tide is rolling across my feet... in the last six months, doubt has begun to paralyze me. It's like when the water goes back out to the ocean. It is washing away the sand underneath me and my feet are sinking lower and lower. If this keeps up, there'll be nothing left for me to stand on... My friend's response was immediate: I have stood where you are standing. I've felt the water cascade across my feet. I know how wonderful that feels. I have also felt the water go back to sea. I've felt the water wash the sand away from my feet... listen to me when I say this: When the last grain of sand is finally gone, you're going to discover that you're standing on a ROCK..."
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours... I hope you have a safe and happy holiday... Me, I'll be working at my job at the hospital all day. I'm okay with that though, someone has to work it... Looking forward to waking up and going shopping on Friday with the throng of other cheapskates who will be out trying to pick up good deals in the stores... Let me know if you've got any good shopping stories... I'll let y'all know how it goes... God Bless...

AHHHHHHHH...

Hey y'all,
Today is a much better day than what I was feeling the other night in my last entry. I've put that little tete' a tete' behind me and I've been rejuvenated. I have more energy back in my soul and I am looking forward to a VERY MUCH needed weekend off from EVERYTHING... and I mean EVERYTHING... no hospital, no hockey, no BCSN... NOTHING! I hope and pray to have a fun and enjoyable weekend. There's a little show here locally called the sports rap on BCSN. They had a couple of guys from the Cherokee on a segment. I was the go between to make sure the guys made it there and were ready to do four minutes... I sat there and watched my associate coach and a couple of the players chat it up with the host who's a friend of mine... oh, btw, the head coach passed on being there because his son had a game. I had no problem with that. I put a high value on being a good parent and the head coach is definitely that and I am proud to say that he is... Okay, enough about him... I look forward to getting things improved on that end and look forward to the Cherokee getting the ship righted... I guess it's the optimist in me... Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better today and am looking forward to that silly little football game between Michigan and Ohio State. What's a Notre Dame fan to do??? Hey it should be a good one. Also, this weekend, is Grey Cup Sunday... What is Grey Cup Sunday you ask? Well, it is the championship game of the Canadian Football League. Or more appropriately, the Canadian national drunk... I will make a point of tipping one or two Canadian brews with my dinner and then settle in to watch the British Columbia (Vancouver) Lions battle the Montreal Alouettes at CanadInns Stadium in the fridgid cold of Winnipeg, Manitoba... brrrr... should be a beauty, eh?

Peaks and Valleys

Y'know, sometimes I wonder why I go through this self examination of concsience. I want more than anything to think about all of the positive things that happen in my life. Trust me, there are a lot... The bumper sticker that says 'God Bless America' can be a day late and a dollar short. We've been truly blessed in this nation and even though I'm poor, lumpy, annoying and too sarcastic for my own good, I have to admit that I have been very truly blessed. Even when bad things happen and I'm at a loss to try and figure out why, I know when all is said and done, The Big Man upstairs has really been good to me. I'm saying this because I've been soul searching in regards to some things that are happening in my life right now. Nothing really bad or anything, I'm just thinking that I am feeling a little quirky. No one specific reason. I guess I am feeling a little melancholy right now. I'm frustrated in my role with the Cherokee. I love my job, no question about it. The things that I do and the joy that I bring to people that listen to me online and I am so tickled when I meet families of the players from out of town who come up to me and express their gratitude for me broadcasting games online so they can keep in touch and follow their loved ones on the net. I know that they appreciate it and I feel very touched and honored to be able to do it. Working with the Toledo Cherokee, I have been so blessed to be a part of that organization... no, more like 'family' comes to mind. Until this year. Our record is up and down like last year. That stuff doesn't bother me. But right now, there is such disarray with coaches not really connecting with the players, and players who tune out the coaches because they can't stand them. I don't get along very well with my head coach. He and I are like oil and water... we don't mix. I talked to him for about 3 minutes today. That's way longer than I've talked to him in the last month. He's the head coach, I'm the broadcaster. We're supposed to work together and try to make each broadcast sound reasonably decent with each other's co-operation. But snide comments have been made in each direction and the end result is mud. We don't really do much to reach out to each other in any way, shape or form. We don't seek each other out to do anything together for a broadcast. I talk to his assistant coaches and I get along with those two just fine. Normally, I wouldn't let that stop me and I would try to be a nice guy and make peace. Not this time. This coach has already got the reputation of whining nonstop at the refs. He is constantly complaining and is even making the owners less than thrilled at the moment. The funny part is that he was originally brought on board as an assistant. But after the original coach was canned, he was made head coach. The owners were happy because the coach had name recognition, having played a couple of seasons in the National Hockey League. He also played in the minors and won a couple of championships with the Toledo Storm in the East Coast Hockey League back in the early 90's. But he tries to treat these young players as if they were in the pros. That's not what we're here for... These guys are still developing and learning. He spends more time yelling at the refs than he does getting on the players in his locker room. But he has alienated so many people in the last few months, that he may lose what little control he has over the team right now. You know its bad when the players are complaining about a lack of intensity and discipline from the coach. We lost in OT this weekend to Motor City last night and Flint spanked us today. One of our players got into a fight with a Flint player and cleaned his clock. That was the only brightspot of the game today... If we were winning, then it might not be so bad. But we're not winning much these days and the frustration is really starting to grow. Normally, you'd say that the players need to suck it up and do this and that... but right now it's the players that are frustrated with their coach, and if he's not careful, he might lose his players' respect. Even though there was a different coach last season, there were a number of returnees this season and the players that were here last year are not in tune with their new coach... at all. And you can see the results on the ice. And there are a lot of frustrated people on the Cherokee reservation. Including me...

Feeling Red and Seeing Blue

ARRRRGH!
That seems to be the only word that can come out of my mouth right now. I'm just trying to recover from a night that saw my red world turn blue... I guess I should backtrack: I took half a day off from work because I was asked last week by the TV station to do a regional playoff soccer game. There were several teams from the area that were in the playoffs and at least two of them were supposed to advance in the playoffs and could possibly win at states in their respective divisions. Only one problem: THEY ALL LOST!!! Every last one of them. So that meant my election day afternoon and evening were free... I had planned on an evening of junk food and my TV to watch the returns, but a couple of doctors at work who are good friends of mine called and invited me over to their favorite hangout to watch the results. Hey, 'why not?' I rationalized. I forgot to mention that the 'hangout' in question was a cigar bar. Yep, every asthmatic's dream.... BUT just like the guy who has a fear of heights but takes a job working as window washer on a high-rise building, or a guy who is terrified of flying but works as an air marshall, I am an asthmatic who LOVES a good cigar!!! I seldom smoke them anymore, but I love the aroma... Besides (I thought), I am in the company of a couple of doctors. If anything happens, they can treat me... until I remembered we were in a cigar bar and the only things they were equipped with were Arturo Fuente cigars and single-malt scotch... geez, what are the odds? Oh, nevermind... Anyway, we proceeded (with our humor) to make the entire bar crack up with laughter... We had to laugh because the results of the election made us want to cry... But we're big boys so we'll take our lumps as such and congratulate the Dems on a big victory. Their victory does not change who I am or what I value or believe. I remain true to my convictions and hope that the next two years go by with success and peace for our nation. I guess the only difference is going to be that I spend more money on taxes and less at cigar bars...

Weekend Roundup

Hola y'all,
survived another weekend. I'm feeling a lot better these days. I'm feeling pretty good. The Cherokee lost on Saturday night to Peoria. I got done with the game and instead of going somewhere to have a ginger ale and lament a 2-1 loss, I just went home. I got online and was looking for information about some hockey stuff and got absorbed by some stuff. I had a warped thought about something and before I knew it, I'm looking up crap on 70's and early 80's movies. As in cheeky B-movies. Yikes! that's like reeeeeally scary. I was looking up a movie that Lynda 'Wonder Woman' Carter was in... I think it was called 'Bobby Jo and The Outlaw'... just crap like that. Don't ask me why I was doing this... weird thoughts come to me when I'm eating ice cream at midnight. I think I might have been better off if I went and tipped a few as opposed to really awful movies... How the Academy could've missed these.... Anyway, I got to bed and slept like a brick. Too well. I ended up oversleeping and had to really get a move on it to get to Church on Sunday morning. Once there, my morning improved dramatically. I enjoyed watching the band play. They rock a lot harder than the bar bands I used to go watch every weekend in my younger days. And in a touch of irony, a couple of the guys in the Church band used to play in the regionally popular metal scene where I live, back then. So in the past, I payed a $5 cover charge, would drink about 50 bucks worth of booze, and sit there and yell at these guys. Now here we are all these years later, and I look up at the stage, and see the same couple of guys and shell out money in the collection basket, and go have a hot chocolate in the lobby afterwards. How lame have I become? Well, at least I don't have hangovers every weekend anymore so that's a plus. If that makes me lame, then I gladly plead guilty to that charge. I can still have blast without having to consume large quanities of 'liquid encouragement'. I don't try to 'drink someone pretty' either... I prefer a Gino's pizza over getting tanked... any day! Peace...

I was po'd when I heard John Kerry's comments (regardless of what he may have 'meant' by them) They were hurtful to those of us who have family in the military. Doesn't matter about party affiliation... it was wrong of him. But when I saw this, I laughed and realized that our best and brightest have a great sense of humor... I live in the land of the free... BECAUSE of the BRAVE!!!
God Bless Our Troops!

Sleepless In Seatt... er... my place!

Will someone please take my pulse to make sure I'm alive? lol... I was a complete walking zombie on Saturday night during the Cherokee broadcast. I got a couple of emails from people that heard the broadcast online and were very concerned because I sounded so miserable. I appreciate the concern and for the record, I feel much better now. Thank the Lord. I tried to sleep during the day today, but I kept doing little errands and finally settled down tonight after dinner. Now more random thoughts.
Saw my sister Lou today. She looked awful. She was hacking and coughing and was all kinds of miserable. I was worried about her cause the chemo treatments she's taking have really kicked her butt like nobody's business... She still puts up a brave face, but I know this whole mess is really bringing her down. Spent some time with my nephew today. Tony and I went shopping (i'm almost embarrassed to admit this)... for... (gag)... clothes! There... I said it... two guys shopping for clothes. Thank GOD we're related otherwise I'd worry about 'brokeback' jokes... and NOOOO neither of us asked the other if our butts looked big... We had a pretty good time together. It was kind of strange. He and I don't see each other a great deal but we're still pretty close. He asked me today if I ever talk to or see my former girlfriend. I smiled and said 'no honey, we don't have any contact with each other.'... In the past, I might have added some nasty editorial comments to the answer. But as I said in previous posts, I've left that time of my life in the past, and tossed everything else in the trash can. I think the last time I tried to contact her was back in January. But anyway, Tony asked a couple of more questions about her and instead of trying to slam her, I was polite and just said something like "it didn't work out but it's for the best... for both of us... we're both much happier" and he finished with his questions and dropped it. I must be getting old or something. Normally, considering the circumstances, I would have said something much more negative if he had asked me this about 7 months ago. But by the spring, I made my peace with it and left it at the foot of the cross. And I am soooo much happier now and glad she's gone. I mean no malice with that comment... I'm happier without her than I was with her... 'nuff said. Stay warm everyone... unless you're in Hawaii... (hi Tina)

You're Getting Sleeeeeepy...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
My airway feels a whole lot better. I'm still not 100% yet... but I'm breathing again so I guess that should be good for something. Right now I'm in the middle of a long weekend of work. I about dropped over on Wednesday night as I had to broadcast 2 soccer games back to back. I hit my inhaler but I was still wheezy. I had a hard time getting through the second game but that's the way the cookie crumbles. My next 2 days should be fun... here's the schedule:

Friday: Work till 6pm... drive to Wayne, MI to broadcast Cherokee hockey vs Michigan Ice Dogs at 8:20pm. Get home around 12:30am... back up about 4am. Go back to work at the hospital Saturday till 2pm. Head from hospital to broadcast district soccer final for TV at 4pm. After district final, jump in car and drive to Cleveland to broadcast Cherokee hockey vs Cleveland Lumberjacks on the internet at 9pm... Now mind you, I'm not really complaining. After all, I get paid to do all of these things. But by the time I wake back up early Sunday morning, I'll be dragging my knuckles to say the least... But I'll be ready for it all... About the only thing that has me feeling down right now is that the Detroit Tigers are down 3-1 to the Cardinals in the World Series. But I'm optimistic...

Punks and Drunks

As much as I love and am passionate about sports (afterall, I work as broadcaster of them), I still have to deal with goofballs that are harmless, but no less annoying. As excited as I am about the World Series being played less than 45 minutes from my house, sometimes things can be downright strange... Let's set the scene: I'm awake and am leaving the doctor's office and going to stop at the local tavern in my little hick town trying to get something to eat. While sitting there, a guy walks by (obviously enjoying 'happy hour' just a little too much), and spills his beverage a bit on yours truly. The very brief conversation went something like this:

Me: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Drunk guy: Ohhhh dude! TIGERS!!! (at this point, drunk guy walks back to his chair)

apparently, invoking the name of a professional sports team allows you a brief grace period to stagger back to your chair and pretend that nothing happened. I wouldn't have been mad at all if the guy would've said 'sorry' or 'dude, my bad'. I'm a big boy, that stuff doesn't bother me. We all make mistakes. But 'dude, TIGERS'??? I dried myself off and shook my head. Then I heard the guy talking loudly about his levi jeans and his male anatomy. At this point, I laughed. What else could I do? I grabbed my 'to go' order and left. I'm trying to think of where I could use that expression as an excuse the next time I screw something up... If I do, I'll let y'all know how it turns out... yeesh!

Fading In and Out...

I don't know if this will make any sense, but I'm tired, cranky, but still pretty happy. I guess I should explain. I came back from St Louis and on the way home, started wheezing and had some difficulty breathing. There's been a respiratory bug that's been going around our department at work. I came down with it and am now feeling like ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag. Rebecca, if you read this, you may not be a shrink my friend, but you're some prognosticator! So I took the last couple of days off from work to try and get my poop in a group... The only good thing about this is that in addition to getting some rest, I am getting some time to listen to radio, and watch the odd movie or two... something I've always enjoyed but haven't done in a while. I am still feeling the effects of gettin' old... But I'm going back to work tomorrow. Plus I just got my TV schedule for the next week. Ugh! But it's worth it... I'll be logging some serious miles and I can't wait... I start this entry griping about being on the go and feeling like crap. And end it looking forward to more of the same... Yeah I'm crazy... and I'm GLAD... mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Exhaustion Leads to... Being Tired! (profound, eh?)

Ugh... that's about all the energy I've got to say. These last couple of weeks have shown me that I'm not as young as I used to be and I have let the ol' body take a beating by putting in a ton of hours all over the place. I'm ready to collapse. To be truthful, I nearly did the other day. I got a few warning signs that I need to slow down. Of course in traditional Mik fashion... I ignored them. Too stubborn for my own good. Well, as I write this, it's on to the Loo... (that would be St. Louis) as the Cherokee have to go down and play the three time national defending champs... Oh well, c'est la vie... Found out that my best friend and his wife are expecting... very cool. Me, I'm trying to stay focused on what's right in this world. It's not easy, I can tell you this... Found some crap that was my old girlfriend's and that brought back some not-so-good memories of the past. Some anger and bitterness returned for awhile. Like about 8 days. I found myself getting mad at God for all the wrong (as usual) reasons. It wasn't His fault. I needed something to lash out and let it finally rest. Very odd, it came in the form of the 'Grumpy Old Men' movies. I watched those and for some very strange reason, I actually had a couple of tears in my eyes. I saw myself as the Walter Matthau charachter and I didn't like that one bit. I've done pretty good about not thinking about her and putting that worthless segment of my life behind me. I found a couple of things and it brought me back to another time in my life where all I did was practically kill myself trying to please her and take care of her needs at the complete expense of my own. I wasn't living my life at all. I was her servant. Nothing more... But after realizing what that mess was in my past with her, I was able to empty out the garbage and start over again. With much brighter horizons I might add. Today, I am drama queen free... halleluja!

Something I Won't Forget...

Some may question about the evidence of God. That's completely understandable. With things that happen in the world... bad things sometimes happen to good people. We have a showcase tournament that the Cherokee had to play in this weekend up in Detroit. Four games in four days. We got stomped big time by St. Louis on Friday night 5-0... Scored a come from behind 5-4 win over Chicago. And took one in the shorts on Sunday as Dubuque smoked us 9-5... We still have to play Grand Rapids on Monday afternoon at about 5pm ET... But for me... none of that mattered so much as the charity event that took place on Saturday night. I was sitting out in the lobby of the arena, watching the Tigers clinch the ALDS against the Yankees. I about crapped myself. I was so jacked to see that. it's only been 19 years since the Tigers were in the League Championship Series. Anyway, I was getting ready to head home for a night of wine, woman, and song when I was asked to help broadcast a charity hockey game that featured all the players that were in wheelchairs. And most of these players had very little mobility and use of their extremeties. As they were out on the ice, they were being pushed by a host of former hockey players. Some famous, some not quite as famous but it didn't really matter. The players in the wheelchairs were the stars as they battled heartily and it was neat to see former Detroit Red Wing Vladimir Konstantinov who dropped the ceremonial opening face-off to get things started. Vladdy was seriously injured in a limousine less than two weeks after the Wings won the Stanley Cup back in 1997. The limo driver who was driving Konstantinov, team massusse Sergei Mnatsakonov, and defenseman Slava Fetisov, fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a tree. Vladdy and Sergei were the only two who were severely injured. Fetisov was fine. Sergei was left in a wheel chair but is able to remember most everything. Vladdy spent a number of years in a wheelchair and can't remember alot. But he showed up in the arena using a walker with wheels on it. He still has great difficulty with balance and co-ordination. But he brought the crowd to it's feet in a wonderful display of love and emotion for the guy we all knew back in the 90's as 'The Vladinator'... I was stunned to see him in an improved condition. I don't think he'll ever be the well enough to walk without a walker or anything, but it was still moving to see him make it out for this event. And then there were the wheelchair players. Some could not really move their arms and legs but it didn't matter. With the guys that were pushing the chairs around the ice, everyone had an absolute ball. After the game, the people in the stands gave the wheelchair players a rousing standing ovation. I watched in silence as the wheelchair players were all smiles and had huge grins on their faces as they posed for pictures and thanked the guys that pushed their chairs around the ice. But I can guarantee you that to a person, the guys pushing the wheelchair players were more in awe of the players much more than the wheelchair players (guys and girls) were awestruck... As someone who watched the event and also helped broadcast it, I was blown away by these folks and really had a new appreciation for just how blessed I really am.... Even when I'm hurting and things aren't going my way... I was truly moved and realized that the issues that I have to face are absolutely nothing in comparison to what these people deal with day to day... I was truly humbled...

Bilingual (soccer) Foot In Mouth...

The following conversation occured between me and the TV station folks...

BCSN: Hey Mik, are you doing the Latino heritage soccer match next Sunday?
Mik: Uh, no... hadn't planned on it nor heard about it... why?
BCSN: Because... you're hispanic silly!
Mik: Um, where exactly do hispanics come from anyway? Hispanica?
BCSN: We thought it'd be cool for you to do part of the game in Spanish!
Mik: ARE YOU NUTS??? I can't even get the hang of doing it in English... and that's my mother tongue!!! Why would I want to butcher up a sporting event in two languages???
BCSN: We want to have an all Latino crew...
Mik: Uh, I don't mean to bring things down, but there's only me and Jon (a director) who would qualify. Are we going to do a single camera shoot with no production truck? There's two other guys who have some puerto rican mixed with lebanese backround. They don't even have latin surnames. (editor's note: a 'crew' consists of three camera people, a director, a VTR operator, a cg operator, a sound person, and a PA.) So in keeping with the immigration issue that persists these days, and in keeping with the latino heritage theme, maybe we can pick up a couple of 'relatives' of the soccer players who just snuck into the country and stick them in the production truck and be sure to get a camera shot of it. Just make sure to include a title "Executive Producer aka Coyote"
BCSN: Never mind Mik, I see your out of town with the Cherokee anyway...
Mik: Gee, that's too bad. (Whhewwww!!!)